I’m not sure if I’m being a wicked step mum/ have unrealistic expectations and I just want to put it out there I like my step son, I like most children, understand my own kids aren’t perfect either.
But I am just a human.
My other half has a 17 year old son.
I have girls aged 19, 15, and 8.
All kids are 50/50 parented with respective co-parents.
We all started living together 18 months ago. I do expect my kids to pitch in with things like laying the table, or if I’ve cooked a big meal we all clean up together, one washes, one dries etc. My kids are pretty good and will also clean their rooms. (Do not get me wrong, I’m not saying they’re perfect).
My partner’s son does literally nothing at all. He only speaks if he wants something, makes a mess around the place and if asked to clean it up will either claim incompetence (even when shown) or his dad steps in for him.
He’s a nice boy, plenty of positives going for him but it’s starting to really bug me that he isn’t encouraged to pitch in. For the record, absolutely no neurodiversity/learning or social problems are at play here.
if I ask him to do anything- like earlier I asked him to tidy all the shoes on the rack as I was busy and we had guests coming shortly, he put his shoes together and walked off.
He’s allowed to do essentially what he likes- and I think at his age he could do more. He texts me with demands (can you buy my dad a card and present from me for his birthday and wrap the gift?), or ‘what time can you take me to…’ even though I had no idea I was taking anyone anywhere.
other things really annoying me are him leaving the door wide open when he uses the loo and - I know this is me being a weirdo- when he spits really loudly after brushing his teeth.
If my writing time here suggests I’m grumpy/raise my voice in any way, I absolutely am not- I really struggle with knowing if I can stick up for myself/boundaries because I had a really bad start in life with a very violent and frightening home life. I’m doing my best here.