“Working in a nursery/reception is harder than being a parent”

I remember thinking how exhausted I was when I was a childless EY teacher but in the depths of newborn sleep exhaustion I would love to have only been that level of tired😆

I have a toddler. My friend works part time as reception teacher and part time at home. I don’t know how she does it. At home with my toddler is way easier. I suit myself with him. She has to get 30 4 and 5 year old to jump through various government set hoops in quite a tricky area.

It's not a competition, as others have said.
Ive done both, and as recption/y1 teacher I was also a single parent ( one child).

As a teacher of little children it can be exhausting. Your body is shattered as you are on your feet with 30 little bods, and your brain can be over stimulated, hyper aware of where they are and who is doing what.

If she is the teacher she will have planning and prep to do, but not 'indepth marking' However she is coming home to no outside pressure. Her time is her own, no demands on her from little uns. That ofcourse could be a stress for her. Does she want a different life etc, partner/ kids.

You have a little one, your body is knackered from preparing the next one. You are at home all day with demands on you which is also extremely draining. It's extra hard to occupy a little one when you are shattered which becomes a vicious circle.

Parents would say to me I dont know how you look after 30, I can't do 1/ 2.or.3. I d honestly say I found it easier to get 30 kids to do what I asked at times compared to 1 at home.

It sounds like she just wanted recognition of how tired/crap she was feeling, and although you were totally justified in agreeing she possibly didnt want to hear that this time x

Edited for numerous spelling errors

We have a family member who’s a primary teacher and oh god they bang on all the time about how hard it is ‘to parent 30 kids every day’. Bore off!!! Being a parent is far harder but ultimately waaaaaay more rewarding.

I've done both. Parenting is harder without a doubt mainly due to it being much longer hours but also the level of responsibility is much higher than when working a nursery or school. I wasn't having to make other childcare arrangements, I wasn't managing medical appointments, I wasn't making sure they had clothing, I wasn't doing the food shop, I wasn't even doing the cooking and cleaning because there was a cook and a cleaner. I was just there during set hours to play with children with a few short adult led activities thrown in. Obviously there was a need to keep them safe and well cared for but that just comes naturally, well it should do to anyone who chooses to do the job.

Not in my opinion!

For me, the hardest aspects of being a parent are 1) the unprecedented relentlessness of it; 2) the weight of the enormous additional responsibility; 3) the creeping realization that I am going to spend the rest of my life worried to some degree about someone else.

None of those apply to working in a nursery. Still, I'd honestly rather clean toilets all day than do that job. Perhaps it depends on the definition of 'hard' - because nursery workers don't get the rewards that being a parent does (to make up for the hard stuff).

Fundamentally, you will never know how hard her job is. And until/unless she has children, she will never know how hard parenting is.

Totally agree. I have been a Nursery teacher in a school Nursery and it is easier than being at home with one child in a lot of ways. It's the way things are set up, plenty of activities, routine and no emotional attachment.

Does your friend want kids? I try not to moan too much about parenting to friends who don't have kids as some of them want them but are struggling with fertility stuff or single. The ones who are childfree by choice aren't that interested!

I kind of agree with this because you worry so much more about your own children. DS started school this week and I've worried so much about him despite teaching for 15 years.

Honestly I found teaching 30 7 year olds less exhausting then parenting one three year old whilst pregnant! I wouldn't teach early years though. Early years practitioners are saints!

I've done both and being a parent is absolutely harder, especially when you have multiple kids.

Maybe don't start complaining opening the door to negativity, just be positive.
She is most likely reflecting on her experience spending everyday with children, you think she's trying to get one up, next time she asks, reply cheerily you might get a different response.
Neither of you have experienced the others life, let it go.
It is really petty.

Yeah I’m with your mate.

I reckon 30 kids and a load of rules and expectations from school and parents is probably harder than 1 or 2 on your own terms.

I've always hated when people compare situations and try tell you how lucky you are when a lot of the time they haven't a clue about your circumstances. Im often told I'm so lucky to be a stay at home mam. It wouldn't have been my choice I just had to play the hand I was dealt as best I could. I've worked in a nursery and it's bloody difficult but so is the sleep deprivation and stress that comes with parenting!

Working in a nursery/reception and then going home to parent small children absolutely wins top trumps!

Someone in my antenatal class said this - how hard can it be I'm used to 30 - and I just smiled to myself and have occasionally thought about her finding out ever since!
Having been both a parent of young children and a reception teacher Id say parenting much more tiring because of the higher emotional load and 24/7 nature (although I did go to bed at 7.30 on my first day as a trainee teacher!).
Re the actual person that said this, sounds as if they may be unsupported in their work.

I can imagine why she’d be annoyed though. I have a friend who works in a nursery. She works 45-60 hours a week. She has a half hour lunch break and that’s it, aside from quick toilet breaks. She’s constantly poorly from the bugs they bring in, but never enough to be off work. She gets abused by parents, bitten and hit by children, and not a lot can be done. She’s paid very little for what she does. When I complain about my 9-5, she gets annoyed. Because while it’s awful for me, she definitely has it worse!

We all choose different paths based on what we can cope with because we all find different things hard. There isn’t enough money in the world that you could pay me to be a teacher to preschool or primary. I did choose to become a parent. Your friend did choose to become a teacher so presumably finds it easier than I would. You have chosen to be a parent twice, so obviously don’t find it that hard or you’d have stopped at one. So you’ve both chosen routes and they are difficult but not beyond the realms of what either of you can cope with. It doesn’t need to be a competition.

If you want time to go to the gym, that’s between you and your partner to sort out. You could have the time but it just takes more logistics.

To suggest that it’s because she doesn’t have children and is struggling with that is really rude. Teachers have a hard job - which is why they are leaving the profession in such high numbers. They should be allowed to say that their job is hard. I also know that for some teachers, they love teaching but definitely don’t want their own (I wouldn’t if I had to deal with 30 kids every day).

I think both have their difficulties.

At the end of the day though, you are looking after the children you made and love. She is doing a thankless job with 30 kids being feral, and no doubt getting shit from parents all the time. Schools have awful behaviour problems at the moment.

Probably depends on age of children. My own children are a bit older so I would say they are definitely less tiring than my TA role in KS1! I am exhausted from work this week.

At least as a parent you love the children you're looking after. Other people's children are a different kettle of fish.