To wonder how people are coping?

That seems like a massively high amount for a professional membership though. £3,000 a year? And if it is a requirement for your job why is your employer not reimbursing you?

If you cannot do that you can claim a portion back on tax (I do with mine.)

Do you mean £160k actual gross income or after tax?

Later posts suggest the former?

I completely agree. A mortgage repayment of £2.5k is way above the average but according to the OP this is indirectly because of a shit surveyor. Add on getting rid of the cleaner (£120 per month) to reducing the pension contributions and OP could easily afford camping trips and other nice stuff. It’s basic maths.

Can you downsize? Or move to a cheaper area. Don't be a slave to your mortgage. It doesn't make a difference what your earn, its what your expenditure is. I have a low income, but. no mortgage with a small house and small bills, but holiday, eat, go out, takeaways etc....

Not sure why you are 'offended' ?? Food alone for a family of 7 adults is 2000 euro !
I also look for deals everywhere , never remain with a utility provider for more than a year , negotiate every insurance payment , hair twice a year , nails twice a year .
Not even remotely pleading poverty but just saying that in Dublin with 5 'kids' it's easy enough to burn though 9 k a month .

I don’t understand what you are spending on if you can only afford a monthly takeaway with a household income that high.

Do you have a big mortgage / debt?

So you either live somewhere incredibly cheap or you've got loads of equity, lucky you. That's not true for everyone.

Apologies OP, I've read your posts now and I see your expenses breakdown. Yes, the mortgage and childcare together is a lot.

That is a tiny mortgage by today's standards and depends on where you are in the UK.

I know of people in London paying £3K a month for rent for 2 bed flats.
And young grads sharing a house are paying £1K+ a month for a room.

The north-south divide is something a lot of posters are unaware of.

Right, but most of us don't have a £2.5k mortgage. Ours is £500 a month for example. And most of us aren't paying 20% in to a pension. The reality is that her circumstances are actually pretty unique to her family, so trying to say "gosh, if we're struggling, how hard it must be for the poor people" is disingenuous when they could easily afford Disney and more than one camping trip a year by just slightly reducing her DHs pension contribution.

I honestly can't see how you're worried about things like Netflix and the Christmas food shop with an income like 170k and kids not even in private school. It would make sense if your mortgage is massive, though. Maybe that's it?

I feel more offended by the pp who said they’re on £8700 per month with 5 kids, mortgage free than the OP. That is just offensive and insulting to your average person who truly feels the cost of living pinch.

I made the decision to get rid of my car 2 months ago. First time in my adult life without owning a car. My DH has one so we use his. I’ve also forfeited getting my nails done and buy supermarket branded food and laundry stuff and batch cook. I do sim only for my mobile phone. I don’t drink alcohol or smoke. I’ll get my hair cut every 4 months. We have cancelled subscriptions (e.g. a flowers one we used to get every 2 months).

In my opinion, that is feeling the pinch of the cost of living and making cut backs. Not forgoing a second or third holiday of the year.

On the run up to Christmas now I’ll be putting aside money for the M&S food shop we like to have each year as a treat. We’ll be setting a limit for Christmas presents for each other.

Mortgage 2500
CT 240
Utilities 430
Broadband 50
Childcare 950
Children's activities 200
Car expenses Inc petrol 300
Phone 30 (previously 60)
Subscriptions 40 (netflix, prime and TV licence - previously 75)
Home & contents insurance 60
Pets (food and insurance)100 (previously 170)
Cleaner 140 (we've reduced the hours, previously 240) - this will be next to go.
Food/ toiletries / household items 600
Professional memberships 250
Commuting 80 (we both work mainly from home but need to go in to the office twice a month each)

How much were you spending on private school fees?
Most decent schools are close to £25k-£30K pa.
Unless your kids are tiny and in some tiny prep school that's cheap.

It depends where you live. I know people on low salaries in south east and wonder how they're coping. We are high earners but with young kids we avoid foreign holidays, buy most clothes off vinted, have cheap cars. Not complaining just saying everyone has to be careful these days if youre raising a family.

Here's the reality of many lives, most aren't doing all of this but a combination.

• families in one bed flats
• some who appear to have it easy are living off inheritance
• people choosing difficult shifts to minimise childcare
• shopping almost entirely at aldi or lidl
• reusing and making as much as possible ie make your friend a birthday card, waiting for handed down clothes
• gifts from grandparents that save money ie prams
• stuff bought on hp - hope to pay back later
• 35 year mortgages
• cheapest possible food ie pasta, bread, banana, cheese, minimal meat and no avacados
• no subscription - YouTube is free
• minimal day trips - my friends will mostly wait for the free open days etc..or choose park
• no classes ie dancing, tennis etc..
• Picnic instead of restaurant or cafe
• No cinema, theatre

And a good number are really struggling. I often pop something in the food bank..

But I was discussing with my DH the other day how you never feel yourself going up income brackets because it just gets absorbed to become your lifestyle..
There was a point when we were very poor. I was homeless at one point. So I was thinking I should feel like a millionaire now days in comparison to that. But of course I don't because I've got 3 kids and a mortgage... I also have higher standards for most things than I used to. For example I just used to live on the bread that was reduced to 5p at the end of the day in the supermarket...
And now of course as I hage children, I want as much fresh veg and ingredients as I can afford... so the increase in financial circumstances just gets swallowed and your expectations are higher. There's loads of other ways in my life that's the case too..
So I can imagine even if you were what I would call, properly wealthy, your expectations in life would have gone up again and so it would still seem a struggle to meet them

I have a friend for example, whos in a much higher income bracket and I recall her complaining to me she had had to buy jeans from a random high street store like H&M or something.. and how that meant to her she was struggling financially at the moment.
And I laughed because if I had spare money to buy brand new jeans from H&M I'd consider myself minted!! I get all my clothes off vinted. And I don't consider myself to be struggling at all really because like I said its a step up in the world for me.
So I guess it's all really relative isn't it.

Have you overstretched yourself with your house?

There's something going on there isn't there? Coz I earn a fraction of what you earn and I have 3 kids... and I'm still going on a little uk holiday in half term, the next half term weve even got a holiday bookes abroad though tbf we didnt go abroad in the summer... and I've got netflix and prime. I'm not worried about Christmas (granted i always get the christmas food shop from Lidl not anywhere fancy) ... or the mortgage, or getting an occasional takeaway
Do you live in a castle or something?
It must be your house that's hemorrhaging money that's all I can think of.
Yeah prices have gone up slightly but they haven't really effected our family much.. and as I said we earn a tiny fraction of what you earn.. neither of us break 100k separately or combined!!

O Jesus's this country is seriously tucked if people can't manage on the money you earn OP.

Are you actually serious!? Our household income is a 3rd of yours, no additional benefits etc before you ask and we manage a disney + subscription and Netflix!

‘High end’ cars are a very gauche way of spending money. You don’t get many ‘high end’ cars in the local Waitrose carpark.

I think you've been given a really rough time on this thread, op. Sorry you had to change schools, that must have been very difficult.

And yes the mortgage is pretty large, but it’s only 750 more than my rent. And I’m on less than 1/3 of their household income. I do get by but I have to claim UC for the first time in my life. I shouldn’t have to. My salary isn’t low. I should earn enough to support me and my kids, but the rent, the price of food, utilities…. Everything is 3 times more than it used to be. And yet my salary, despite promotions, has not kept up!

OP people will struggle to empathise with you here. When you have money, I have found you begin to normalise not matter how much.

It is only when you step into other peoples life a bit for a short time that on the return you can appreciate again the luxury.

Probably your life has inflated along with income and it feels normal now. Go and spend some time somewhere for a bit and you’ll soon seen what can be cut back.

I do however agree that living costs are horrendous, I was having the same conversation with my dh this week. We are not impacted by the rising costs other than having to spend more, however I feel quite irritated that I have no control over say the cost of food. Whereas I do get to control other things we choose to do. I don’t want to spend x amount on the same thing I bought for half the cost months ago to line the pockets of the retail stores.

On a side note. Get rid of Disney they're complicit in the suppression of free speech in USA...see Jimmy Kimmel. If you're UK based , this is the same crap that will come this way in time Farage if he gets in is a puppet of the trump regime, so act now.