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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder how people are coping?

816 replies

CobbleWobble · 18/09/2025 15:07

We are very lucky, I know this.

We are "Mumsnet rich" both have professional jobs with good salaries (£170k household income) and yet this last 12 months:

  • removed children from private school
  • changed how we do the weekly shop to reduce costs
  • cut subscriptions (like Disney+ etc)
  • reduced what I bought in the back to school shop
  • decided against a holiday in October half term
  • concerned about our usual Christmas food order

What is going on? I just don't understand why or how prices are rising as they are or how people on less than us are coping!

I'm extremely grateful we have the things to cut that we have but we've also had to remortgage this year which has doubled our mortgage payments and then our utilities have increased and the food shop has just got insane.

We have other things we can cut - a holiday in the UK, Netflix, the monthly takeaway but its just miserable to think we may need to do that just not to be living.

Happy to post spending particulars if people are finding it hard to see where I'm coming from.

So AIBU to think that as a country we cannot go on with prices rising like this? How are others coping?

OP posts:
Memeyoulater · 18/09/2025 16:00

@ComfortFoodCafe completely this 100%

PumpkinSpiceAndEverythingNice · 18/09/2025 15:58

I assume it’s your mortgage because I could afford everything on your list on less money (although depending on how many kids for PE I suppose)

NoisyLittleOtter · 18/09/2025 15:58

AngelicKaty · 18/09/2025 15:56

Finally, a sensible post that understands that this isn't just about income, but about expenditure too. Thank you. 😊
And for those that missed it, OP's told us "... we've also had to remortgage this year which has doubled our mortgage payments ..." - I'm guessing this will be a large part of the problem.

Show quote history

Yes. But taking two children out of private school should more than make up for that increase, unless their mortgage is now in the realms of £7k per month! Disney subscription
should still be manageable 🤷🏻‍♀️

mambojambodothetango · 18/09/2025 15:57

You're on a different planet, OP. A tone-deaf post at best, if not actually entirely unbelievable.

Onmytod24 · 18/09/2025 15:56

Nothing to do with the economy all to do with your total lack of any skill perhaps you should hire someone to do all that for you while you get a job that you can actually do

AngelicKaty · 18/09/2025 15:56

5128gap · 18/09/2025 15:19

Its pretty easy to see where you're coming from. You're basically paying your mortgage twice by comparison with last year and its taking all your disposable income and some of your essentials budget, like food. It must be an absolutely huge mortgage though if it makes all that much difference. Other people are managing better because they don't have that enormous burden and have enough disposal income as a result to weather the extra costs of other things.
My DDs household income is less than a third of yours. Other circumstances similar, but their mortgage is £500 pm so they haven't had to cut back on any of these things. They just save less. They didn't pay school fees in the first place, obviously.

Finally, a sensible post that understands that this isn't just about income, but about expenditure too. Thank you. 😊
And for those that missed it, OP's told us "... we've also had to remortgage this year which has doubled our mortgage payments ..." - I'm guessing this will be a large part of the problem.

FluffyDiplodocus · 18/09/2025 15:56

Surely can’t be real. Our household income is around £65k (before tax) with two kids to support - we’re reasonably okay. Not rich, not poor, but can manage a takeaway a month and the dizzy heights of Disney plus!!

EverardDeTroyes · 18/09/2025 15:55

I can only assume your mortgage is eye wateringly high. Our income is well below yours, and whilst we have never been able to afford private education and generally take 'only' one holiday a year, we are aware we are, compared to others, comfortably off. We pay the highest rate of council tax and our heating bills are higher than average but we own our home outright so have no mortgage to pay. I notice the rising food prices, but I have to admit, I can still afford whatever I want to buy. I can only assume you can't because of your mortgage?

SushiForMe · 18/09/2025 15:55

170k is around 105 after tax, so 8500 per month. Our mortgage in London zone 2 in a little over 5k a month for a basic 3 bed terrace (nice but not fancy area). You can argue the 3500 a month should be enough. But then add the 170£ a month TFL pass + council tax + bills + childcare (no 30h free childcare) + food shop. What remains in what OP describes: modest holidays and watching what is spent on extras.
Not the life of luxury people imagine when quoting a « 170k income ».
Private school is 20-30k a year per child (fees only, add to that 1k uniform, 1k trips, etc, etc) so I’m not surprised OP had to take her kids out - I’m not arguing it should be cheaper, just that it is often imagined that people one this type of salaries can afford it easily.

Jenkibuble · 18/09/2025 15:55

ExtraOnions · 18/09/2025 15:51

£170k and can’t afford Disney+ … lol … nice try !

Hopefully Tattle will be ripping this one the shreds

Rishi said similar didnt he. Or was that Sky that he didnt have growing up?

Inyournewdress · 18/09/2025 15:54

I don’t think this is real but if it is…you have messed up. You must have hugely overstretched yourself somewhere and made bad decisions.

ApplebyArrows · 18/09/2025 15:54

Bamboozled by this sort of thing. I know families in expensive parts of the country doing perfectly well on (generously) a fifth of this income.

It really doesn't inspire a sense of fairness in our economic system that people are receiving salaries in the 80k-100k range despite apparently being unable to manage basic household budgeting. How much money are they losing their employers?

Gilead · 18/09/2025 15:54

It’s very hard not to tell you to fuck off. I live on a state pension. This winter, if it gets cold, I’ll move into the sitting room; use the gas fire and the heated throw. My state pension is 11,970 ish per annum. Okay I haven’t got children feed etc but it’s still tight. Despite that, I can still afford a fiver a month for Disney.

JoeSikoraTommysStory · 18/09/2025 15:53

Well I would say it depends on where you are living and commuting to for work/school etc…
our household income is a third of yours but we live in the northeast and are just scraping by (without having to ditch the holidays and subscriptions just yet) but if you’re down south YANBU

Jenkibuble · 18/09/2025 15:53

Mintbeecloud · 18/09/2025 15:45

Expected responses from mumsnet.

I think the point OP is trying to make is that with a joint income of such an amount, one would expect to feel very comfortable, if not wealthy, but this is not the case. You get told that if you work hard, make sacrifices and you climb the career ladder, life will be good, but it doesn't feel like it at the moment.

I agree with you, OP. My DH and I are not making £170k but we both work in demanding professions with higher range salaries. Higher salaries often come with higher outgoings. I know that we pay a fortune on mortgage, council tax, insurance. With the amount we make, I would expect us to feel comfortable, have holidays and be able to save, but we only go on holiday once a year on staycations, and we always run out of money at the end of the month.

Everything feels more expensive, we get taxed out of the wazoo, services are of poorer quality, potholes, poor healthcare services, school struggling to deal with SEND kids, it all just feels like a shambles.

A good point - it is all relative (housing/ CT/ bills etc)

However, forgoing private school and a holiday at HT are first world problems though .

I have received Cost of living payments previously and help with winter fuel.(poorly insulated house) I will get neither this year as no longer UC (youngest has gone to uni)
The food bill will go down slightly (as just me ) but the other bills remain the same .
I will manage JUST.

AngelicKaty · 18/09/2025 15:53

Indianajet · 18/09/2025 15:19

What are you spending your money on?

"... we've also had to remortgage this year which has doubled our mortgage payments ..."

Enigma54 · 18/09/2025 15:53

speakout · 18/09/2025 15:51

OP- please, just don't do this.

You have no idea what poverty is.

OP doesn’t have an earthly clue!!

Enigma54 · 18/09/2025 15:52

blackrabbitwhiterabbit · 18/09/2025 15:51

Do you buy two real ponies in your Christmas shop?

🤣

Enigma54 · 18/09/2025 15:52

KateMiskin · 18/09/2025 15:24

You are going to get slaughtered! Why not post in the Money forum?

It’s a fucking piss taking joke thread!

Mintbeecloud · 18/09/2025 15:52

Bideo · 18/09/2025 15:50

“Higher salaries often come with higher outgoings. I know that we pay a fortune on mortgage, council tax, insurance”

Thats the mistake. Why would you take on higher commitments without adequate margins for inflation and interest rate rises?

Because we bought before interest rates went bonkers and have had a 5% increase on council tax every year we have lived here, but no wage rises?

ExtraOnions · 18/09/2025 15:51

£170k and can’t afford Disney+ … lol … nice try !

Hopefully Tattle will be ripping this one the shreds

blackrabbitwhiterabbit · 18/09/2025 15:51

Do you buy two real ponies in your Christmas shop?

Enigma54 · 18/09/2025 15:51

Deepbluesea1 · 18/09/2025 15:19

you are not just rich, you are extremely well off. It takes some balls to come here and play the fiddle. If you are struggling on that amount, you obviously live beyond your means/are crap with money. No amount of ridiculous pay can fix that.

Show quote history

This.

speakout · 18/09/2025 15:51

OP- please, just don't do this.

You have no idea what poverty is.

cramptramp · 18/09/2025 15:50

I don’t believe this. The savings you’re making from taking your children out of their schools must be considerable. If you’re still not managing there is something wrong.

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