To wonder how people are coping?

We’re at the point where mortgage payments of £2,500+ are the norm for fairly average housing in good school catchments in mid sized cities for young buyers with no equity. The OP was not looking for sympathy, she was just saying that you’re not well off when you’re on £170k anymore, and she’s right. Take £2,500 then council tax and bills off your wage, then childcare if you have kids you will be budgeting quite hard to get by.

Exactly. I’m in the NW. People work professional jobs AND can afford reasonably priced property.

Happy to post spending particulars

@CobbleWobble I think this would be helpful, unless your not coming back?

Yep. Classic hit and run. Amazes me that people are still asking her questions as if this was thread was intended to foster a genuine discussion.

OP isn't coming back..... They are obviously taking the piss

Exactly 💯. It will be a huge mortgage payments .

I have a few friends who have insane mortgage payments because they wanted the perfect house in the best area . But realistically they have pushed themselves to the limit.

We have a similar income and whilst we’re still comfortable we cannot afford private school. That’s with a relatively small mortgage vs our income of £1300 pcm. It goes up soon by £1100 so definitely can’t afford private school then either. Fees around us are around £20k per year that’s £1600ish pcm, per child and that’s before uniforms etc.

@Outsideitsraining exactly, of course we never paid that but i'm young enough to understand the impact.

170k puts you in probably top 2% earners, I was in top 5% fora while, if you can’t manage on that I’m amazed. If I thought someone I employed was that bad with money and had such poorly joined up thinking I would be questioning my recruitment process.

It’ll be the mortgage - ours going from 1.75% to 3.25% a couple of years ago was an absolute shocker even though we have always been super careful around borrowing ratios etc. If they went from sub 2% to over 4% on an 80% LTV I can well imagine the sort of impact being described.
Throw in the OP probably being in London where a 3 bed house somewhere well connected and not stabby will set you back in excess of £1million and £170k joint income really doesn’t look that great at all.
Yes lots of people manage, indeed thrive on much less but assuming the OP is real that wasn’t the question.
As an aside I don’t care how much I earn, I will never be ok with spending over £6 on fucking mince!!!

And if say you have a mortgage of £600k your monthly payments are going to be over £3k. For a 3 bed semi in a not too nice area. Housing costs for the young just buying their first place are insane! And there’s lots of people with no comprehension of £3k leaving your bank account each month immediately as they are lucky enough to be in social housing or have bought many years ago.

I’m guessing you have seriously overstretched yourself when you bought your house. That’s a huge income 4x average after tax, so if you are struggling to the point of cutting groceries i suggest that perhaps you need to consider your house situation in the medium to long term. Our income is a fraction of yours but no money issues.

I know many people who work extremely hard and earn a fraction of OPs salary. It's not true that people with higher salaries work harder or make more sacrifices than other people.
And they care just as much as anyone else about their children's education but would never be able to afford to pay so their children can be taught in smaller classes with more resources.
And your mortgage is only higher because you chose to buy a bigger/nicer house . Similarly your insurance is only higher because you have more expensive belongings.

! try £24k household with zero benefits.

We used to be well-off so it’s a massive come down. Cost of living is excruciating

Is the £170 net take home or are you then taxed in that?

because £170k net is £14.1k a month.

So if you’ve cut school fees (average round here is £1-2k per child a month dependent on school choice) I cannot see how £6.99 monthly subscription makes a difference from £14k!

Your mortgage must be huge? Your pension payments are large? Travel expenses? Debt?

I live in a cheap property (£580 a month) but my take home is £2.5k a month and although - yes - money is tighter with CoL we aren’t having to cut subscriptions etc and still can afford some luxuries.

I seriously think you would benefit from some financial advice. Even if it’s just you are use to having so much more spare to save/spend you’ve lost sight of what you can actually afford!

It always baffles me that people on such high incomes (intelligent and educated?) fail to understand such basic things.

I don't have children in private school, but have done all the others things in OP's list of doom. The difference is I was made redundant a month ago so I am working out how to may a few months pay last in case I don't find work (work that pays a heck of lot less than your income).

We will be fine. I will be able to pay my mortgage and other bills and if need be I will take any work to keep things secure. I have not cancelled Disney+ - it's a fiver a month.

This..cmon..sooo many of these "my diamond shoes are too tight" posts..enough already. This is loads of money. You dont need to be worrying about your xmas food shop. Something literally doesnt add up

How on earth can‘t you afford the things you mention if you’re no longer paying private school fees? You must eat ridiculously expensive food to start with and go on extremely expensive holidays. How much is your weekly food shop, and what do you normally spend on your October holiday?

Depends on how much private school is and for how many kids. That is the thing that was likely pushing you into the red.

Or if you've stretched yourself too far for your house.

If not, sounds like financial mis-management.

It is £8 a pound now ! Used to be a reasonably priced and filling meal, especially with doughboys.
Now it's a treat ! 😁

I live in a 3 bed terrace in London & not in a particularly naice part. My house would sell for 800k.

I earn around £1500 a month with one child and can still afford disney plus?? We can swap if you want! I also still buy mince 😁 but yes otherwise it is hard to cope. Felt awful not being able to take my child on holiday this year x

It's probably not that she hasn't got a fiver a month. It's that she has to cut out non-essentials (even though they're only a fiver) to afford what someone on £170k would feel are essential - kids' private music lessons, money being put in their college funds etc.

Honestly, sounds like you got caught up in lifestyle inflation and way over stretched yourself if removing private school fees still leaves you struggling.

@cardibach Again did you miss the bit where I replied to a post that said high housing costs were to do with keeping up with the Jones.