To wonder how people are coping?

£900 to spend on 'adult hobbies and savings' but you can't afford Disney Plus? Pull the other one!

@stateofloveandtrust they are putting a lot into pensions.

OP isn’t living off 170K. She has a household salary of 170K. Big difference. House prices and wage stagnation are the biggest factors. Many people on far less a salary will be having a much easier time (and paying less tax and NI) if they bought their house at right time and don’t have a mortgage etc.

If you're having to cut back with £170k a year then the average person is pretty much fucked hey.

Initially I thought you were on the wind-up, but your later posts make me think you’re insulated and don’t know many people because there are plenty of people earning the same or more or less than you and your husband who are coping just fine. Because we made, and continue to make, shrewd choices with our outgoings and the money that comes in. When you live above your means, you’re screwed, regardless of how big your income is.

We manage fine on combined take home pay of around 3300
Mortgage is 980 and we overpay on top.
No young children or pets any more though, and we have short UK holidays in term time, so cheaper.
We eat well, run 2 cars and save a little too.

I don't understand this either. Our household income is around 40k less than theirs yet the same net take home between us. I never realised going over £125k, which I assume must be the case for her DH, would really make such a difference to take home pay.

Anyway, OP, I agree the price of everything is ridiculous at the moment, but would moving genuinely not be an option? Your £430 for utilities seems quite steep - is that the best deal you have, or is it because your house EPC rating is low? Also, is porting your mortgage not an option in thinking about moving?

Really, there's no great mystery here. All of your other numbers are dwarfed by the mortgage. But that's for a large (or at least, valuable) house that you own, so you have an appreciating asset, unlike the poor sods who are paying rent. It seems like you maxed yourself out when interest rates were 1.8% or whatever other historically low figure, and then you added a big further chunk for the repairs, and then the interest rates went in the only direction that they realistically could. You made some choices knowing (I assume) the risks and now here you are. And you still have £900 a month for discretionary spending, which is enough for a pretty decent lifestyle.

Also: VAT on school fees is 20%, not 25%. Plus, schools can now claim all of the VAT back that they spend, like any other business. Their biggest expenditure item is presumably staff salaries, but almost everything else can be offset. In practice their increased costs will probably be about 14%. If your school put its fees went up by 25% then that was an 11%(-ish) non-VAT-related increase as well. School fees have been rising faster than inflation for a long time.

We are on the same income and exactly the same mortgage . Like you, I totally understand feeling surprised at why we need to be watching everything despite earning so well! We couldn’t even think of private schools for kids. And as I wfh, I take a break from work at 3 pm and pick all 3 kids from school and leave them downstairs with snacks and their homework. During quieter times in the morning, I do laundry and some cleaning (sometimes nothing depending on workload) as I don’t feel we can afford a cleaner ( got quoted £20 an hour for a cleaner!!! ) . So yeah I totally feel you! Everything has gone up. Over the weekend, I was in the mood for eating out and did a quick calculation, it would have costed £70, so just left it! Sometimes I’d rather we earned lower but went back to 2012-2016 prices of things.

we have a slightly higher income than you but also feeling the strain - for us it’s our mortgage going up which made a big difference. We also seem to have had a spell on needing to buy new white goods, having to do building work etc - none of which was optional but has eaten through our savings. We had a very low rate before and our mortgage went up by over £1k per month. Prices in the shops are spiralling, I seem to regularly be spending £160+ a week. We are lucky to have things like a cleaner but I’m considering stopping that as I’m not sure we can afford £50 a week, and like you, we couldn’t afford a September holiday - we used to go away 3/4 times a year and now it’s once, maybe twice. I know we are still very lucky but things have got much more difficult.

@CobbleWobble I think you do need some perspective if your response to an economic crisis is to post on mumsnet saying you’re concerned about your usual Christmas food shop or cutting back on the cleaner.

Yes you’re saying you’re lucky, but your post comes across as ‘how are all these poor people on less than me coping if I can’t afford Disney on £160k’. The truth is that a lot of families aren’t coping, children are going to school hungry, parents are skipping meals, and people are relying on food banks. There are also people on less than you who are coping just fine, because they have perspective and understand that having a house, being able to afford bills, childcare etc. means they are doing very well in life.

That’s why posters, including me, are talking about perspective. It’s not that your post was all “woe is me,” but when the examples you give are cutting back on things like private school, holidays, or Disney+, it feels out of touch.

Maybe donate to a food bank or something.

I've not RTFT so apologies if these things have already come up.

I asked ChatGPT for advice. Here's the summary:

Summary of Potential Savings:

1. Mortgage: Refinance (potentially £100-200+ savings).
2. Council Tax: Explore discounts (potentially £10-30 savings).
3. Utilities: Switch providers (up to £50-100 savings).
4. Broadband: Shop around for a better deal (potentially £10-20 savings).
5. Childcare: Use Tax-Free Childcare or reduce hours (potentially £200-400 savings).
6. Children's Activities: Find cheaper or free options (potentially £50-100 savings).
7. Car Expenses: Carpool, public transport, or reduce driving (potentially £50-100 savings).
8. Phone: Switch to a cheaper plan or SIM-only (potentially £10-15 savings).
9. Subscriptions: Evaluate necessity (potentially £20-30 savings).
10. Home & Contents Insurance: Shop around (potentially £10-20 savings).
11. Pets: Review insurance and food options (potentially £20-30 savings).
12. Cleaner: Completely cut or reduce frequency (potentially £140 savings).
13. Food & Toiletries: Meal planning and shopping smarter (potentially £100-150 savings).
14. Professional Memberships: Evaluate necessity (potentially £50-100 savings).
15. Commuting: Use discounts or walk/cycle (potentially £20-30 savings).

@Statsquestion1

"TOTAL MONTHLY SPENDING: 7,480"

The £2,500 that you tuck away, is not spending.

It is what you had left over, after your spending.

I’d suggest visiting a financial adviser as you’re doing something wrong! I earn £85k, mortgage on my own of £1500, and I can afford bloody Disney+

Private school? No. To me that’s the level of about £200k min, so that doesn’t surprise me

"Hang in there. You're not alone."
I agree the OP isn't moaning but you do realise that more people than ever are relying on food banks? Don't have enough money for an unexpected bill? Live pay check to pay check. "Hang in there" with £900 spare a month 😂

However, im now wondering if the boomer generation is an anomaly.

it absolutely is

I feel like I need 10k income after deductions to feel comfortable which means a household income of 200k. I still couldn't afford 2 in private on that.

I hear you OP, we’re on around the same household income as you and we’re definitely starting to feel the squeeze a bit as well. It feels like such a slap in the face sometimes, we did all the right things, have professional jobs with massive responsibilities and yet we can no longer afford luxuries like eating out once in a while. Years gone by, that would not have been an issue.

You’ve had the predictable mumsnet responses 🙄 but I don’t think the people saying we should be grateful /get a grip have actually seriously considered what happens when HENRYs like us stop discretionary spending en mass. What happens to cleaners, shop workers and hospitality workers? It scares the shit out of me where we’re heading as a country but you dare not say anything, or you get accused of diamond shoes being too tight or some other BS.

I don’t have a huge amount of useful useful advice other than to continuing to look for opportunities to cut and build a buffer wherever you can. You’ve had some large unexpected expense which would throw most people but thankfully it wasn’t ruinous, which if you’re anything like us a few years ago, it might well have been. It sounds like your kids are also quite young given you need wrap around care. Some might suggest giving up work if the maths don't make sense but in my profession that would have been career suicide and I’m glad I didn’t. There were very dark years where all my wages went on nursery fees, literally every penny. My kids are teens now so it’s certainly cheaper. Even still I’m slightly panicking about how we are going to afford uni for DD1 next year.

Hang in there, you’re not alone.

You’re topped up to £5k on UC?

Surely this post isn’t actually real? Or some kind of piss take? 160k and wondering how people on a lower income manage? 🤣🤣🤣 Our household income is less than one third of the OP’s income and we manage ok. We’re feeling the cost of living crisis, of course, but we’re able to have short breaks in the uk, eat nice home cooked food, save enough to be able to manage to afford Christmas and birthdays. We’re not strapped for cash, but we’re not rolling in it either and can live comfortably if we’re sensible.

And yes, some of us really do have to juggle child care and work as we can’t afford wrap around care. Sometimes that’s part of life if you’re in a low tax bracket. My work “lunch break” is taking my child to school at 8:30am. This means I start work early enough in the morning to also be available for the afternoon pick up. Luckily my employer is understanding. Part and parcel of being in a low paid job… employers generally (though not always) let hard working employees have other perks to the job instead as they clearly know they’re not paid superbly.

£900 spare cash a month and wondering how people on less money can afford to live? Simple, they just don’t have wrap around care, they work minimum wage jobs with flexible hours so they’re available for the school runs, they don’t have a house with a crazy high mortgage and instead make do with smaller houses where their children share bedrooms, they don’t go on holidays, they don’t have multiple subscriptions, children don’t do multiple extra curricular activities, they don’t have takeaways and they definitely don’t have £900 spare money for fun. They make the most of life’s little happy moments instead, because that’s what you do when you’re someone who’s not used to an extravagant lifestyle with a high salary. You enjoy a free walk in the woods, a weekend at the local attractions you may have saved any spare money for an annual ticket to, a picnic at the park in the sunshine, a thermos full of hot chocolate, toasting marshmallows in the garden on the fire pit, taking soup in a thermos to a wintery walk, and on an absolute day of luxury once in a while; a trip to the beach that might cost £30 in fuel as an outlandish expense.

This post is absolute fucking madness 🙈🤣.

I do get it but I also think some perspective. We think we'd have easier lives than our parents and we hope that for our children. However, im now wondering if the boomer generation is an anomaly. The anomaly (generalisation here) thats ha ing a lovely retirement and the votes that politicians are chasing.
At some points we've been scouring the house for cash because illness affected earning potential, whilst trying to sheild the kids from that reality.. You are lucky but it doesnt mean it shouldn't be different.

I do get it, we have not dissimilar salaries but tbh I think you were unrealistic thinking you could could comfortably afford independent school for two on that income.

Your mortgage is insane as well - to be honest to me it sounds like you got carried away on paper but didn’t factor in contingency.

I work at an independent school and would never put a child in unless I had the vast majority of the money set aside. It’s a fool’s errand paying out of income these days.

I also made it £14k if you take home £170 after tax. Hence why I asked if it’s pre tax amount or post tax and yes, if one person is earning over £100k and it was more tax amount the split and subsequent taxes will affect take home.

But what’s interesting is that you seem to have that feeling I thought you might. You have £900 spare after savings and outgoings which doesn’t feel much to you because previously you and a lot more and income can sometimes be about perception.

A lot of families have more subscriptions and never have £900 spare but then they didn’t before iyswim?

But your mortgage being 1/3 of your salary is always going to feel pressurised. Hopefully interest rates will come down the next few years and childcare costs and student loan reducing mean you feel your income balances out with your lifestyle again.

I agree with PP that 170k joint income is not ‘rich’ just well off.

I understand OP, you weren’t saying “poor me”, you were saying “we are on a very good income and we are having to seriously think about outgoings and what we can cut back on” which, at your level of income, shouldn’t be a thing. You’re not moaning. You’re appreciative that you’re fortunate enough not to be in the position which a lot of people are finding themselves. I am just about OK. I earn £50k and am a single parent. Thankfully I don’t need childcare as the kids are a bit older and I also wfh most days, but even on £50k I have to claim UC to get by. My rent is £1750 so it’s a bit of a stretch. When I was married we had a cleaner, several TV subscriptions, two cars… we weren’t as well off as you, and I was reasonably careful, but to find myself earning this much and having to count every penny is ridiculous. I have an MSc, I work hard. In in a managerial role, and I don’t feel I should be struggling. My parents didn’t work harder than me. They were lucky in their generation I guess. There’s no way I could afford to buy the house I grew up in now! And neither could my parents if they were still working. It’s ridiculous. I get what you’re saying. It shouldn’t be like this.