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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder how people are coping?

816 replies

CobbleWobble · 18/09/2025 15:07

We are very lucky, I know this.

We are "Mumsnet rich" both have professional jobs with good salaries (£170k household income) and yet this last 12 months:

  • removed children from private school
  • changed how we do the weekly shop to reduce costs
  • cut subscriptions (like Disney+ etc)
  • reduced what I bought in the back to school shop
  • decided against a holiday in October half term
  • concerned about our usual Christmas food order

What is going on? I just don't understand why or how prices are rising as they are or how people on less than us are coping!

I'm extremely grateful we have the things to cut that we have but we've also had to remortgage this year which has doubled our mortgage payments and then our utilities have increased and the food shop has just got insane.

We have other things we can cut - a holiday in the UK, Netflix, the monthly takeaway but its just miserable to think we may need to do that just not to be living.

Happy to post spending particulars if people are finding it hard to see where I'm coming from.

So AIBU to think that as a country we cannot go on with prices rising like this? How are others coping?

OP posts:
AlexisP90 · 18/09/2025 20:59

Nothankyov · 18/09/2025 20:57

@CobbleWobble OP I suggest you ask MN to remove your post or… just disconnect your internet altogether. That will help you save (said jokingly)! Because there will be endless post saying how well off you are and how can you not manage on that! Don’t expect any sympathy for having less disposable income or for the fact that you had to disrupt your kids schooling away from private schooling because you’re on the wrong forum for that.
Joking aside it is disheartening to see your money gets you less - I get it. And I also agree that as a country the UK needs a solution and fast because it doesn’t look like it’s going to improve any time soon. To be honest I feel like since Brexit no one is really governing but it’s just been putting out fire after fire 😞

I feel since then its like a school with no teacher. Everyone is running riot the more responsible trying to put out the fires but failing to catch them all

Nothankyov · 18/09/2025 20:57

@CobbleWobble OP I suggest you ask MN to remove your post or… just disconnect your internet altogether. That will help you save (said jokingly)! Because there will be endless post saying how well off you are and how can you not manage on that! Don’t expect any sympathy for having less disposable income or for the fact that you had to disrupt your kids schooling away from private schooling because you’re on the wrong forum for that.
Joking aside it is disheartening to see your money gets you less - I get it. And I also agree that as a country the UK needs a solution and fast because it doesn’t look like it’s going to improve any time soon. To be honest I feel like since Brexit no one is really governing but it’s just been putting out fire after fire 😞

EveningSpread · 18/09/2025 20:57

It’s the mortgage for you, surely. I think lots of people overstretched themselves when interest rates were low.

When I took out my mortgage I calculated that I could still afford it if rates rose to 10%. Sure it wouldn’t be great but I wouldn’t have to cancel everything else. Looking at historic rates it didn’t seem impossible we’d be there again at some point.

The bank would have lent me twice the amount. I chose an area and house that was future proof. (Spoiler: it’s smaller than all my friends’ houses, but we’ll pay it off in 10 years!)

Outsideitsraining · 18/09/2025 20:54

Bumblebee72 · 18/09/2025 17:59

Quite. It's like people think a mortgage is like a tax, the more you earn the bigger your mortgage. It is just a choice to live in a bigger house.

Someone has said £800k buys a 3 bed terrace in a fairly crappy part of London. What sort of house do you think someone who earns £170k should live in? Earning £170k - no matter what you do - is stressful. Hospital consultant with peoples lives in their hands, magic circle lawyer working 20 hour days. Investment banker with an insane amount of pressure and a high chance of redundancy. And all you people on here - hundreds of posts - going on and on about ‘I live in a one bed hovel and step over needles and used condoms to get to my front door but it suits me fine. Why don’t you do the same?’ Or ‘I buy clothes from sweatshops like Shein and primark and don’t worry about the ethics so why should you?’ Or ‘why can’t you live off lentil bake for the rest off your life?’.

Living in London is extortionate even for those earning the top 1%. Earning the top 1% is no where near the top 1% of wealth due to housing costs. Is someone earning £170k not allowed to want to live somewhere where they’re not likely to get stabbed, shop in next and eat in Sainsburys? Is that what we’re saying? If so life in the UK seems pretty shit.

AlexisP90 · 18/09/2025 20:54

Our mortgage is £2k so a bit less than yours but our household income is about £60k less... we have a child in nursery with a £800 bill each month and we are.. I wouldnt say struggling. Not overly comfortable - not huge amounts in savings and unexpected bills scare us a little but we can still afford nice dinners and days out, a few holidays etc

birling16 · 18/09/2025 20:53

LoafofSellotape · 18/09/2025 15:12

You're not mumsnet rich your are extremely well off, if you can't live on 170k you're doing something seriously wrong.

what a joke. 17 maybe?

Anora · 18/09/2025 20:52

I’d try to reframe it if I were you - rather than having to ‘cut back’ you’re having to choose between different luxuries; you’ve chosen to prioritise making extra pension payments over private education, you’ve chosen having your house cleaned over takeaways/ eating out, you’ve chosen to part time work (with school age children) over a half-term holiday, you’ve chosen spending on children’s activities over subscriptions and Christmas food.

rainbowsandraspberrygin · 18/09/2025 20:51

I actually don’t think your food spend pm is high at all. 600 is only 150 per week. With food prices at the moment that will be tight with animal food too. Plus that doesn’t include takeaways/coffees out etc.

DoubtfulCat · 18/09/2025 20:51

I agree with you @CobbleWobble , things are extremely squeezy. While we have a joint income of a third of yours, our food shop has gone up probably 60% in the last 18 months or so and I’m now splitting the shopping between Aldi/Lidl and the other big supermarkets (because the discount shops don’t always have all the things we need) rather than just doing it under one roof to try and scrape a bit off the cost. We’re eating less meat, drinking less coffee and wine, buying nearly all clothes on Vinted, takeaways about every 3 or 4 months rather than once a month, and almost never going for a lunch or even a coffee out. our incomes have stayed fairly constant while prices have just risen and risen. Our lifestyle is inherently frugal and we used to be able to live well even on our lower incomes, but once I’ve looked at our food shop and taken out the possible savings from there, there isn’t much else we can look at to cut back on. Everything else is a fixed or non-negotiable cost, like fuel to get to work, bus fares, milk, that sort of thing.

Spooky2000 · 18/09/2025 20:50

I was on £32K per year, just took on a new job for 6K more (not that I'll see any of it thanks to travel and dog-sitting - long story) and tbh, I would have been better off staying in my crap job and doing more hours at the bar I work at as a weekend job.

ATM I can afford things comfortably, but I've just bought a house and the mortgage is going to be twice what my rent is, yet is the cheapest house I could find to buy. I am not looking forward to the future.

Doingitat40 · 18/09/2025 20:49

You say you are worried about people in lower income brackets and I do acknowledge that there are many people who are genuinely struggling, the rises in interest rates has put many people in a precarious situation

however, I do often find posts like these make me realise what a wonderful position I am in.

our household income is 60k, I earn 32k and dp 28k so a fairly even split

our mortgage is £457p/m for a 3 bed end of terrace in Yorkshire,

we’ve had 1 week abroad in July this year, and 2 uk holidays. We are going abroad for a week for October half term

we run 2 cars, both old but very reliable so far

no family help money wise ever but also haven’t had to pay childcare as we were lucky enough to work opposite shifts when dc was younger (ds is 12 now)

we don’t have lots of savings but live a very good life, ds has travelled the world with us and we not only have Disney+ but also Netflix, prime and now tv

clearly I should stay on my 32k income as it sounds a much better quality of life

Notgonnalieaboutthis · 18/09/2025 20:49

CobbleWobble · 18/09/2025 15:07

We are very lucky, I know this.

We are "Mumsnet rich" both have professional jobs with good salaries (£170k household income) and yet this last 12 months:

  • removed children from private school
  • changed how we do the weekly shop to reduce costs
  • cut subscriptions (like Disney+ etc)
  • reduced what I bought in the back to school shop
  • decided against a holiday in October half term
  • concerned about our usual Christmas food order

What is going on? I just don't understand why or how prices are rising as they are or how people on less than us are coping!

I'm extremely grateful we have the things to cut that we have but we've also had to remortgage this year which has doubled our mortgage payments and then our utilities have increased and the food shop has just got insane.

We have other things we can cut - a holiday in the UK, Netflix, the monthly takeaway but its just miserable to think we may need to do that just not to be living.

Happy to post spending particulars if people are finding it hard to see where I'm coming from.

So AIBU to think that as a country we cannot go on with prices rising like this? How are others coping?

OP single parent household here. Earn about a quarter of what you have but manage a couple of foreign holidays, pay mortgage, gym membership, don’t sweat the bills. Perhaps live in a cheaper area?

BeFastDreamer · 18/09/2025 20:47

CobbleWobble · 18/09/2025 15:07

We are very lucky, I know this.

We are "Mumsnet rich" both have professional jobs with good salaries (£170k household income) and yet this last 12 months:

  • removed children from private school
  • changed how we do the weekly shop to reduce costs
  • cut subscriptions (like Disney+ etc)
  • reduced what I bought in the back to school shop
  • decided against a holiday in October half term
  • concerned about our usual Christmas food order

What is going on? I just don't understand why or how prices are rising as they are or how people on less than us are coping!

I'm extremely grateful we have the things to cut that we have but we've also had to remortgage this year which has doubled our mortgage payments and then our utilities have increased and the food shop has just got insane.

We have other things we can cut - a holiday in the UK, Netflix, the monthly takeaway but its just miserable to think we may need to do that just not to be living.

Happy to post spending particulars if people are finding it hard to see where I'm coming from.

So AIBU to think that as a country we cannot go on with prices rising like this? How are others coping?

We have a combined income of £45k and can still afford luxuries and holidays while living in a 4 bedroom detached new build. What on earth are you spending your money on??

InMyHealthyEra · 18/09/2025 20:46

You’re haemorrhaging money somewhere to be struggling on that income!

Many people, myself included are on a quarter of your income and are managing to live comfortably whilst saving each month, without having a sacrifice holiday, subscriptions or treats.

Take a closer look at how you’re spending.

LindorDoubleChoc · 18/09/2025 20:45

Inyournewdress · 18/09/2025 15:54

I don’t think this is real but if it is…you have messed up. You must have hugely overstretched yourself somewhere and made bad decisions.

True.

Pickingmyselfup · 18/09/2025 20:43

I would hope on an income of £170K I could afford Disney!

However I'm really noticing that money just doesn't go as far as it used to! Just a couple of months ago I was paying for Disney, a running coach and physio totally £100+ and now we are wondering if we will have enough money to last us the month! Our mortgage has gone up by £100 though because of interest rates and the fact we borrowed an extra £10K and our energy has suddenly gone up too. Food I think has stayed the same.

We don't have a massive income (a bit less than £80K combined) and we do ok. Just ok really. We probably spend more than we need to on stuff but we don't worry about the food shop or the kids clothes. An overseas holiday is a stretch but a UK mini break is fine.

I would have hoped by now we could be living a bit more of a luxurious lifestyle but clearly we aren't so we have to make do and I'm just glad we can live "well" I imagine there are hundreds of people like us living "well" but not in the way we always though we would be on our income. My parents didn't earn half as much as we do and granted they only had one child but we still has one or two holidays a year abroad which suggests we were doing alright otherwise they would be the first thing to go.

It's frustrating that we are poorer now than we were earning less money. When my youngest was a baby we brought in half of what we do now, had 2 in nappies, one on formula, one part time nursery yet I could still get my nails done and work less hours. Maybe the kids are eating more (yes) clothes are more expensive (yes) and I need to pay for double the school holiday childcare costs instead of one child's part time nursery. Especially when we can't use the 20% off.

So I would hope that on your income I could pay for Disney, especially if you have pulled your kids out of private school. I know things have gone up but they haven't gone up that much!

My Xmas shop will be a bit more than our usual despite not entertaining because I always buy more alcohol and more food for us as a celebration. This will not be changing, we can suck up the extra cost even if we have to cut down somewhere else but I get that it shouldn't be this way..

sminted · 18/09/2025 20:42

you also don't need to pay for Disney +, Netflix, Apple etc every month, I swap one for another every few months.

ElleintheWoods · 18/09/2025 20:39

CobbleWobble · 18/09/2025 18:28

I'm genuinely relieved that other people are feeling comfortably off and not so affected by the cost of living rises.

I've misrepresented our income - it's £160k, I calculated it based on my FTE and I only work 32 hours. Apologies.

Yes, our mortgage is huge - it wasn't when we bought the house but we had to borrow more to fix a big issue that wasn't picked up on the survey and insurance wouldn't cover, and then the interest rate has more than tripled. This happened at the same time as the 25% vat on school fees, which at our school was passed directly to parents. So we had to withdraw them.

There's also a big difference in income between two people on £80k and one person earning the majority of our income (it's about a £9k per month in scenario 1 and £7k in scenario 2, which is our scenario).

And yes, we've always been comfortable where we haven't really needed to watch our spending where as now we very much do.

2 adults, 2 children, 1 dog and 2 cats.

Basics expenses:

Mortgage 2500
CT 240
Utilities 430
Broadband 50
Childcare 950
Children's activities 200
Car expenses Inc petrol 300
Phone 30 (previously 60)
Subscriptions 40 (netflix, prime and TV licence - previously 75)
Home & contents insurance 60
Pets (food and insurance)100 (previously 170)
Cleaner 140 (we've reduced the hours, previously 240) - this will be next to go.
Food/ toiletries / household items 600
Professional memberships 250
Commuting 80 (we both work mainly from home but need to go in to the office twice a month each)

Which leaves £900 for day today spends, adult hobbies and savings/ Christmas/ birthdays/ holidays etc. This is after we've made savings, it was a lot less. When we bought the house our mortgage was £975 and the extra we borrowed brought it up to £1200 which was affordable, but the huge increase in interest rate has scuppered us massively. Also council tax jumped up either last year or this. It's just the jump in everything pushing on stuff.

I'm not sure moving is an option at the moment - as we've just remortgaged we'd have to pay a huge fee (around £20k) to pay off some of the mortgage, but if we still feel like this once the fixed term is closer to ending then it's definitely something we'll look in to, though our house is very averagely priced for our area.

In the next 18months my student loan will be paid off which will give me back about £120 a month.

Hmmmm... It's a curious budget, very different from mine... I am assuming you're in London/ SE, or if not, you live in a very big house, 5 beds or more?

I live in a beautiful 4-bed not in London alone and my housing costs inc utilities are about 60% less. Used to live in a huge detached 3-storey 5-bed and only then was my housing cost comparable to yours.

I'd say your cutbacks are a bit extreme considering you still have 900 to spend after savings etc. You probably can't afford private school at the moment but otherwise you still seem fine and perhaps overthinking it.

Your main challenge is the mortgage. Can you get a different mortgage deal soon? Any credit issues that would result on you having higher rates? Rates are dropping so getting a better deal next 12 months is very feasible. Can you either overpay or go for a longer terms for a little while to ease pressure on your budget while kids are growing?

Considering you WFH, would you be open to living in a different area, e.g. remote pretty villages, or a smaller house in your area? You could half your housing cost.

You somehow need to knock off 1K or so from your mortgage + utilities and I imagine you'd be comfortable again.

I know many people are struggling unfortunately, but personally I'm feeling very well off compared to the past. But perhaps it's just because I'm mid 30s and in a position where I'm able to get good payrises with job moves.

Talking of which, would you be open to moving employers and potentially earning 20-30% more? You can increase pension contributions if you don't want to hit 100K.

BeTealRaven · 18/09/2025 20:37

I could only dream of your salary. We are a 80k household. We don't struggle but we can't splash out. We don't go without though. We have what we need. And yes that includes apple TV, Netflix and Disney plus. We shop at tesco and sainsburys. We don't buy convenience foods at all apart from a bag of frozen chips, baked beans and some pasta sauce jars. It amazes me how people can spend their money on ready meals. It's as cheap to buy take out.

WFHforevermore · 18/09/2025 20:36

We have a similar income, but thankfully our mortgage is only £700 a month and no child care.

But i do appreciate your honesty and transparency x

Saladbar · 18/09/2025 20:33

I live abroad and same thing is happening here so you aren’t alone. It’s an absolute piss take. I don’t find the comments that you earn a lot helpful because why the hell does that excuse prices going up and up for everyone? My mother used to be ok and is now really badly struggling and on the poverty line in the Uk and WHY?! The big companies just get richer and richer. We should be questioning this. Incomes don’t go far at all now compared to when we were younger and it’s got really stupid and out of control.

Woodwalk · 18/09/2025 20:29

Even after your mortgage you have 4.5k a month.

That's literally double what I earn a month - full stop!!! Before paying my mortgage.

And you only have to go into work twice a month which saves a fortune. I don't see how you are struggling at all. I really really don't.

Overthemoun · 18/09/2025 20:24

Your wraparound and I assume holiday club is really expensive and I’m guessing you don’t qualify for tax free childcare if dh is an additional rate tax payer. You could maybe see if a childminder does pick up from your school or change your hours to do it all yourself - if you’re not a big earner it probably makes sense to work school hours.

I agree life is very expensive at the moment. On £160k household income you should have a nice house, car, savings, holidays and private schooling. It’s all gone a bit wonky and for those who are low earners it must be nearly impossible when the washing machine breaks or your teenager grows again and needs 4 pairs of shoes and a whole wardrobe. Salaries just don’t go up enough to keep up with the basic cost of living.

Trendyname · 18/09/2025 20:21

DressOrSkirt · 18/09/2025 18:39

You have 3 pets and are only spending £100 a month on them?

Yes I was going to say this. And cut down their expense almost by half. Not fair

Imperativvv · 18/09/2025 20:21

EatSleepDreamRepeat · 18/09/2025 19:19

I am talking about the qualifying UC threshold, not the amount of UC received. The qualifying income is less than a quarter of £170k. It is closer to a tenth of that income. Top ups don't cover everything. Eg Local Housing Allowance in my area is realistically 50% of the cost of a private rent. Doesn't meet 100% the cost of a Housing Association either.

But there isn't one qualifying threshold. You not having qualified for UC on your particular household income doesn't mean a household with more income but different circumstances wouldn't.

I agree that the LHA often doesn't cover full rental costs, and this can be the case even when an award is very high.