To wonder how people are coping?

I'm sorry, but this seems like a joke. You need to get in touch with a financial advisor if you are struggling on that sort of money.

@MyLips presumably as your dc are now adults you likely have paid off the majority of your mortgage or all of it?

Jeez @CobbleWobble our household income is approx £130k and whilst I’m appalled at how prices have rocketed, I’m certainly not worried about the Christmas shopping or the tv subs. People live on significantly less and I’m very aware of our position by comparison, so we do regularly donate to the local food banks, pet banks and a similar ‘business attire’ charity type organisation (it’s not an official charity yet). I’m not sure spreading abject fear is helpful from someone in a relatively privileged position.

I'm sure this is a wynd up. I get mortgages have gone up but you're saving on expensive school fees. The part about the Christmas dinner order makes me think 🤔

How is your income split? You and your DH make more than me and DH combined?

My DH is on £130k whilst I'm on £25k (part time). I guess private school was the biggest expense, we just did state grammar instead.

We've been careful with our spending but allow adult DC to live at home rent free.

That is a very good income

You can’t manage on 170k a year???? What?
Most couples don’t make 70k per year between them let alone 170k!

Either you’re paying stupid amounts for expensive cars and a massive house or one of you has a secret shopping/gambling/drugs habit.

Can’t one of you have a lunch break at 3.25? To collect ? Many do

My heart bleeds. Concerned about the Christmas food shop. My mum and I have a takeaway at Christmas and have done for several years. How can you cope on 170k a year? Until last September I was living on 400 quid a month. Go down to Aldi or Lidl like the rest of the peasants

You are having an actual laugh aren’t you. Cutting private school I can understand but the rest is outrageous if combined income is £170k. Do you want the peasants to help you feel better?

But the thing is, your situation isn't 'fucking hell the country's in a mess' its 'fucking hell your mortgage is mahoosive'. You're not feeling the pinch because mince is costing a few quid more. If your mortgage was more reasonable, you wouldn't be 'feeling the pinch' at all. (And with £900 a month spare, I'd say you can definitely afford to keep Netflix and Disney and buy a nice organic Turkey at Christmas).

Your £900 a month of "extras money" is about £50 a month less than the entirety of a state pension- after the upcoming rise.

And out of this has to come everything - council tax, food, utilities, tv licence....there's no concessions.

Whilst I am sure you feel your life is difficult or unfair, please do spare a thought for the less fortunate. It might help you with perspective.

I’m no happier on a higher income than when I was in a lower income…however I can now afford the lack of worry. And this is what makes a huge difference. I’m still not into expensive handbags etc but I know if the washing machine packs in I don’t need to panic. Today I had to fork out for four new tyres, previously this would have crippled me and I’d be racked with worry on how to stagger it etc. The stability is always the biggest difference.

It's called the happiness plateau. From AI:

The happiness plateau is a debated concept in psychology suggesting that, for most people, daily happiness and well-being may not significantly increase beyond a certain income level, though life satisfaction can continue to rise.

Maybe, it is a matter of perspective. I'm perfectly happy with basic housing, clothes, some heating in winter and essential food.

I don't think shopping at Waitrose and M&S will drastically make me more happy.

People will always want more. The rich parents get pestered for even more expensive stuff, now they will need Louis Vuitton school bag. It is just endless and people would always worry more about the next month if you have to find £5.5k rather than £2.5 to sustain their lifestyle.

But it absolutely does @LoudBrickTiger that additional 34,000 per year in net income allows for outsourcing of household tasks, vastly increased pension contributions, no penny pinching around the grocery shop, additional extra curricular for the kids, private swim lessons vs council, tutors, savings, it gives the benefit of CHOICE, the option to reduce working hours with no detrimental effect on day to day life.

Of course the quality of life is vastly improved.

You have £900 per month left after you have paid for everything except adult hobbies, gifts and other niceties? If holidays come out of this I guess that could take a big chunk depending on what type of holidays you like to take. There may be room to cut back a bit there.

Your mortgage is about the same as my monthly salary and has increased massively. You should have probably looked at moving rather than remortgaging if you really think you are struggling. That said, wouldn't stopping the school fees have accounted for a lot of the increase?

Why on earth did you think you needed to cancel Disney+? It's only a fiver a month! It's a drop in the ocean out of that £900.

Your utilities seem high. I live in a 4/5 bed and my gas/elec is about £180 and water about £30. Broadband also about 30 and mobile phones (x2) £18 (sim only). That's about £260 all in. There is less people in my house but I work from home so someone is here pretty much all the time.

Do you need to pay that much for professional fees? Obviously I don't know what you do but it sounds a lot monthly.

You should be able to cut your groceries, particularly as you are accounting for pets separately and your kids have school dinners.

Yep I acknowledged that in my first sentence, was still just surprised how much of a difference it makes, crazy!

only someone who has never been poor can possibly say that quality of life differs little if you have 5k rather than 2.5k a month

quality of life = lack of stress over basic bills, ability to shop without having to keep tally as you go round, a bit of savings for a replacement boiler or washer , ability to sub a friend a tenner or pop something into a charity pot without concern. Choices. Flexibility. It’s possible on 5k and much much harder on 2.5k. Although it requires some savvy at any level

quality of life isn’t a posh handbag or holiday to the Maldives - that’s a flash life not a quality one

Your sums are correct and I do know there are ways to reduce your "gross" salary to be below £100k to a certain extent.

My argument is Quality of Life does not change drastically. Maybe 100k would allow slightly better car, house etc as the OP has shown in her calculations. This is why you see politicians take gifts of clothes, glasses and even posh food in the case of Boris. They can't afford a luxury lifestyle on 100-170k.

Have you seen an independent financial advisor? Might be worth considering.

Yeah, on Mumsnet, people can put thousands into their pension, so buy themselves a very comfortable retirement and massively reduce their tax liability and pay a huge mortgage on an expensive house in a nice area near where they work while buying themselves a valuable asset and they're no better off than people on NMW because all their money goes on their basic living costs.

Probably putting loads into work pensions before tax, so could take home much more but are choosing not to, a bit misleading really. Most of us have quite basic pensions.