How to respond to insufferable football dad

Surely, "thanks for your opinion, random man"?

Shout BORING!!! Like that Nigel Farage meme.

This type of bloke is more prevalent on a football sideline, thus why football is best avoided imho

When my STBXH starts randomly telling me something (eg he starts telling me in depth about what he’s watching on tv) I wait til he finally and pauses and will say something like “did I ask?” Or “If I wanted to know I’d watch it myself or ask you” or “why are you telling me this?” - would something like that work on this guy? Because no matter how he replies, he’ll look like a twat.

sadly some men just feel they have to impart their IMPORTANT MAN KNOWLEDGE to us women…

1 day just say you’re deaf & have never heard a word he’s said? for reality speak in monotone!

Personally I would have told him not to judge your son by his own low standards.

I think you are going to have to be blunt and Steve, please do interrupt, we have no interest in you and your listen. Turn away and carry on your conversation. It will take a while but he will eventually get the hint.

And then be very grateful you are not married to him!

Blimey, he really seems like a gem, doesn't he. 🙄🙄🙄 Just don't engage in conversation with him at all.

It is because of parents like him, I breathed a huge sigh of relief when my DS showed absolutely no interest in football! 😂

Or "I'd rather stick hot pokers in my eyes"

I do a head tilt and concerned smile like you know something about him that's making you sad but don't want to say. It disarms people and hopefully makes them paranoid for a few weeks.

That would drive me mad. I would hold up my hand and say ‘Oi! Steve! Steve! I don’t know if anyone has ever told you this, but you start every sentence with the word listen, and to be honest I just don’t want to listen. I disagree with you and that’s ok, but what you say isn’t fact, it’s just your opinion. I loathe being told to listen like I’m fucking 5.

OP be rude. He's not bothered in the slightest offending you or jumping in your conversations.

Why does his feelings matter more than yours?

Yawn in his face. 'Steve this is so boring' and walk away. Every time.

If he tries to engage - 'Bore someone else Steve'. On repeat.

As you are a nice person this will feel very hard to do / go against the grain but don't let these feelings win. He doesn't try to protect your feelings. It's about his ego - and you're not there to boost his ego.

Ugh, some football parents are just awful. Just turn away, don't engage, walk off if necessary. He'll soon get the message.

Hold/maintain fierce eye contact with him, and do some earnest post-punk angular dancing at him, until he walks away.

I’d say, ‘let me stop you there’. And then turn away.

Though I will admit I have no patience with football parents. We live next to a park and the things you hear adults shout at children is beyond.

a friend once tried to explain to me it was much better now because there is now a designated parent in hi vis to tell everyone to be nice. Really? Adults need to be told not to shriek obscenities at children?

“Shhhh, I have zero interest in the words coming out of your mouth. Please find someone else to bore”.

This. The amount of stress and ego around in kids football is INSANE. We had a parent who would say ‘waste of space’ to kids as they walked back from missing a goal or whatever. They were 9!!!!

however if you were standing with parents of the kids involved I don’t think I’d have said what you did.

Incidentally I once had a call from a school mum saying she was watching my ds right now setting fires in the woods. Ds was sat in the kitchen!!!

I like this 2nd comment!

Or get some MASSIVE headphone and put them on every time he comes near? Smaller ones would also work but perhaps not get the message across as well 😂

I suggest you say kindly, slightly concerned ‘and you really just don’t mind how that offsides nearly everyone you tell it how it is to? Amazing.’ And turn and head to someone else.

DS used to play for a league in east London /Kent. And some of the other teams dads were AWFUL. Always swearing at the ref and encouraging appalling behaviour. I usually just ignored.

However one man was so awful I looked at him with my best Paddington Hard Stare. He said, “what you fucking looking at?” I continued the Stare and in my best and most withering Maggie Smith Dowager Duchess of Grantham voice responded, “You. Need. To. Calm. Down.”

He did. OP I think I’d say, REALLY? On repeat. Until he gets bored.

I think this is the nugget of it.
You are a polite person and so at some stage, you've been friendly/polite because his son was in the same time ( Not your fault btw its a normal thing) but he now thinks of you as a football team audience, and proceeds to vent his opinions as he's decided there won't be much push back

He probably does this all the time... he doesn't get push back from lots of people once they've got his measure because they can't be bothered getting into a stupid debate, or they feel it would be rude (normally it would but not here)

However, he's now breached the tolerance barrier and you don't owe putting up with him anymore. TBF... he sounds like he may not even notice, just latch onto the next nearest person.

In unfairly criticising your son, you dived in to stand up for him (quite rightly) but unfortunately because of the way this idiot is wired, he then had to defend his position.

He's an attention seeking ratbag and no longer deserves your politeness. I think however provocative, you have to steel yourself to ignore/disengage/avoid... or if its absolutely required in a break the glass sort of way - throw A playground thing a colleague taught me once "so you say" accompanied by a visible eye roll or "I hear what you are saying." as you walk off.
.

I think given he wasn't even the person you were talking to that time, or others it seems, then it is very reasonable to point out it is a private conversation, or you were not talking to him, not asking for his opinion.

Yes - or more pointed:

No, you listen to me… you’re talking rubbish.

I don’t stand for mansplaining - it’s an occupational hazard if you teach in HE, and there’s no way I’m putting up with it from some bloke at my DC’s activity.

OMG can't believe AD is a Steve 😂. And there are so many other pompous know-it-all Steves around.