Very strange situation

i'm currently trying to arrange carers for my elderly mum. You can be very sure there will be cameras in the house. I may or may not remember to tell casual visitors about it, and will inform the carers before they start.

But i am baffled by all the horror of people worried about "their data". What data is some hacker going to get of you round at your mate's hose picking your nose when you think nobody is looking?

I'm still "meh" about sending the recording, my reaction to the idiot mother calling to make a fuss would have been more along the lines of "ask her again what happened, and tell her to be truthful. Your child is welcome in the house again, but i will not be feeding her and if she lies about me again that will be it"

No I haven’t. Whether or not she deliberately set out to film her daughters friend is irrelevant. She DID film her.

Off topic bit british people are funny. No one sets up home security camera to snoop on someone,they are not hidden but very obvious and we dont check footage on ours 99.5% time but it has cone very handy- getting people who harass us prosecuted when we handed the footage over to the police, police asking and solving stolen car case when we shared our outside video camera footage, when we had a tradesman coming into our home on a day he wasnt supposed to taking away rads when we were on holiday and so on. Otherwise they are great when family members are in a hospital they can check in and have random chats over them etc- its like the ID cards brits are terrified of when mainland europeans have used them for decades and they make a lot of things faster and easier

I completely disagree. I shouldn’t have to spend my life checking if I’m being filmed everywhere I go. It’s completely unreasonable to expect that of normal people. Filming people in your home without their knowledge or consent is unethical.

It's all a lot of drama over nothing really, as the friend's mum now knows exactly what happened and that her daughter lied. Seems a bit OTT to ban her from the house as the mum now knows that her daughter's account of what happens at your house cannot be relied upon.
The likely explanation is that friend didn't want to admit to her mum that she'd turned down a decent dinner in favour of supernoodles so laid the blame elsewhere. That's all. Obviously most rational and socially adept mums would have left it without going back to the host mum and questioning why her daughter had come home hungry - the cheek. But it's very much a storm in a teacup - no drastic action required.

You’ve missed out specifically there.

Ha, I just said that people rarely turn them off 🤣
you’re a better person than me - I’d forget each and every time!

But she did film her daughters friend.

The onus is on the guest or the guest's carer to check if there is a camera.

It's not like OP has the camera in the bedroom or bathroom, where legally there is an expectation of privacy.

What a peculiar child! 😮

My daughter as a kid would say anything to get extra food - she just loved eating, particularly dinners. She’d tell her friends’ Mums she’d not had dinner if she saw them having some. I guess if pushed she’d maybe have fibbed further, but not known her do it and I’m pretty sure she stopped well before ten - as I wasn’t happy about those type of porkies and told her so every single time.
As the parent I actually wouldn’t believe this type of tale from my greedy guts (or even my less greedy ones) let alone call the host about it! I think therein is the issue - the mum didn’t stop to think it through. On the other hand I was always too willing, as my kids used to say, to not believe what I thought were tall tales and to believe instead what other adults told me - a long time ago and in some ways a different land I guess.
It’s the mum as much, or more, that will/may be the issue for play dates - unless she apologises and you can both laugh together about her kid’s propensity to get 2 dinners, not just one!

nah, shit stirring liar is about right. And her mum calling? overreaction

tbh sending the recording was weird, but we have all had "those mothers" going on at us for some perceived slight, and maybe OPs friend has had it with all that.

Because people rarely turn them off - it just adds on to one more thing they’d have to do before they leave the house.

she wasn’t specifically filming her daughters friend.

Not getting the camera thing. I have a camera on my dogs whilst I am out of the house so I can keep an eye on them. It is turned off as soon as I enter the house. Why would you continue filming if you are there in the house with the dogs?

A quick Google will reveal many, many stories of carers being caught stealing, physically assaulting and verbally abusing the vulnerable in their own homes.

I find the whole interaction strange. If my kids go to other people’s houses I hope they will be fed if they stay for dinner and if not I will feed them at home. I would never hassle the hosting parents. I have kids round often and sometimes they are so fussy they end up with plain pasta. Such is life.

The response to the mum is also odd though. Why not just write a short text and say she didn’t want burgers or x, y , z you offered so ended up with noodles. Simple. You don’t need to prove the kid a liar, it’s not really your problem. If the mum and kid keep causing drama just reduce the invites and cool the friendship No need to add to the drama.

Facts matter. OP said she had the 'full dialogue' on film, not the child. The camera was likely pointing elsewhere.

The camera is there for them to monitor the dog, so that is its purpose. Therefore any filming of a child saying they don't want burgers is inadvertent, because OP had no idea the child would say one thing to her and another to her mother.

If you don't understand basic words, that's not my problem.

If it’s just for the dogs, why is she filming her daughters friend?

You need privacy for a whole host of reasons. This is your personal data. You have no idea how it might be used or where it might end up. Someone could post it on their social media or use it for fraudulent reasons.

It always amazes me how laid back people are about their data.

The only abusive carers that have been caught on camera that I’m aware of were in care homes where they would have known there were cameras and where institutions are bound by GDPR.

Why is everyone getting their knickers in a twist about the ring doorbell? OP has explained why her friend has it, to keep an eye on the dogs in the kitchen. Not weird or bizarre at all.
Personally I wouldn't be having this child back in my house if she is prone to telling lies and has now caused an uncomfortable situation between the parents and I'd happily tell her why.

Because

1. people are numpties who leave the factory set password.... which makes it a gift for hackers to guess.
2. Said hackers can then listen in/watch and discover that the family are going to Mallorca for a fortnight so the house will be empty.....and they have seen all the expensive kit that will be left at home
3. You are entitled to wander around your own home semi clothed but I am sure there are pervs out there who would pay to get off on the sight of a woman in her knickers on her way to get her bra out of the drier..... and some couples might even get amorous outside the bedroom.... Gold dust for the pervy hackers. Hope this clarifies things for you.

‘Oooh, I’ve been out at the shops for 3 hours now, wouldn’t mind stopping for a coffee. I’ll just check on the dog, make sure he’s still happy alone or if I need to get back’

It doesn't bother me one bit, I don't need privacy in other people's houses, what would I need Privacy for?
I am conscious to not scratch my arse when I'm in there, that's about it.

I'm curious, do you not agree when people have caught abusive carers on camera?

The recording of conversations is by far the bigger issue here. I think your friend made a mistake by mentioning it and forwarding the footage.

The noodles issue is minor. The kid probably isn't allowed them at home. The mother sounds a bit over the top.

Fine, call it an explanation.

I still don’t understand why having a dog necessitates having internal cameras.