Husband not been paying tax for years

Hmm, sounds like a shocking situation to be in OP. If I were you I’d set up a cleaning business and get advertising locally. Where I live any new cleaner who is good gets a full list within a matter of weeks. You at least have experience with that and wouldn’t have to wait for someone else to hire you when you , by your own admission, have a scant CV. I’m not being flippant, I have done this in a time when we were skint and it saved our bacon. It would certainly pay more than a TA job and you could get it going in a matter of days. Time to take back control of your own earning potential. Regarding the other stuff - there are lots of previous posters with great advice about the legal / accountancy side of things. The real problem is that you can’t trust anything he says right now and full disclosure is the only option. Gone are the days of taking his word for it. And no matter how much you love him, these lies may be beyond what any relationship can survive.

I’ve not read all the thread but was he a sole trader or a limited company? The numbers aren’t adding up at all and if it was a limited company that went into liquidation, the tax debt would be in that entity. He needs some proper advice.

But can’t you say the same of OP who hid a drug addiction for a long time and led to financial issues

if it is a strong marriage and they have both been untrustworthy then aren’t they the best to support each other!!

Leave him. You can't stay with someone this untrustworthy. Even your son can see that. You’ll never have peace of mind again if you stay.

Are you sure he's not using prostitute -or any other addictions - you really need to see all his bank statements from him - you would be naive not too given the crisis you are in - he's clearly very capable of lying straight to your face.

I have a suspicion that OP will never work. She will be particular about what work she will do and turn her nose down at most minimum wage jobs. I don’t think the drive is there.

This 100% and always be aware of the family finances. Being a kept woman and being left in the dark is massively naive.

If that was me I'd leave this marriage ASAP. Your husband is a compulsive liar. He has ripped his family's future away and is incapable of telling the truth. That would be a deal breaker for me. You need to get back your share of the house and get a job or you will retire with nothing. The debt collectors will have the whole house if you stay with him.

No but he did. If you're willing to now stay with him that makes you just as bad particularly as it's obvious he'll never change.

Why the heck are you prioritising getting a watch back when you need to prioritise getting the house on the market and leaving the prick. With an 8 bed house sold you'd presumably have enough to pay off the debts and each buy a small house/flat post divorce.

I don't understand why you haven't worked for 20+ years.

Does your mum know that you spent her money on rehab.

I think the problem is that OP isn’t very responsible with money. The fact they have 300k minimum equity and yet she put asking family as an option

@Shitsinthepost77 you are where you are.

You say you’ve got equity in the house, so the practical issue of dealing with the debt is sorted. You are ‘lucky’ that you can remortgage.

Next you need to put all domestic finances in your name and manage them, including the house. If your husband has an issue with money then you need to protect your remaining assets. I’d tell your husband that you want a forensic accountant to look into your financial affairs as his lying means you can’t trust there isn’t more to come.

Then you need a plan to make sure this doesn’t happen again. What is he going to do to address his issues? What are you going to do to ensure you’ve got a grip on financial matters?

Good to see you are looking for work…that will help give you some financial independence.

As for your son… stop telling him everything, you are burdening him with your marital issues and that is not fair.

Edited to add, if your husband has a pension, I’d check he hasn’t blown that as well…

Has any of the tax been paid back since last year?
Was that a typo or do you have an 8 bed apartment? If so, the solution is to sell and downsize. Tbh i don't understand your or his reaction, for the amount he earns and the assets you have, it's not really a huge sum and can be paid back.
With your DH's reaction I would be very concerned there is more dept you are not aware of.

I can’t find this . Where is it ?

If they really live somewhere an 8 bed detached home is £400k then I reckon they could get a 2 bed terrace, semi or flat relatively nearby for not too much more than £150k, surely? Or at least pay a whacking great deposit and get a mortgage for say £50k…

So were you still, as far as you were concerned, fulfilling your company secretary duties? Were you making annual accounts and confirmation statement filings? If so how did you not see you had been removed? If not, why not?

Well I asked why you thought it was important enough to post that it was a very important point ? The company is now liquidated

.

Yes I was just answering your question. I thought you were asking why it was important if the husband is now working as a sole trader. Sorry if that's not what you meant. I only read the OPs posts as its a long thread

That money couldn’t have been in a trust fund if he has managed to take it. Unless he has managed to do so fraudulently.

They’ve been spending money they don’t have. He hasn’t paid tax for 5 years. OP describes £1k a month pills habit, they put £30k in a fund for their child. It’s probably all sorts. I don’t think it’s necessarily scandalous, living beyond your means adds up and sounds like they’ve treated themselves to some nice things.

My SIL has a massive house in Blackpool - worth maybe slightly less than £400k. It used to be a small hotel/ guesthouse.

400 for an 8 bed house, where do you live! 400k here is a small terrace 😭😭😭

But that is only in the last year since it was uncovered, so the question still stands.. £100k mortgage, £130k a year job, not paying his tax liabilities for the last 5 years...

WHERE HAS ALL THE MONEY BEEN GOING?

OP really needs to insist on seeing bank statements IMO, non negotiable.

Just seen it's £300k equity. Ignore me lol