Husband not been paying tax for years

What’s the obsession on mumsnet with cleaning businesses and teaching assistants or care jobs? I genuinely think some do get a weird buzz when the shit hits the fan for anyone who has ‘ever ‘ dared to have had any money - even if it wasn’t quite what he seemed .

Oh dear, honestly you need to be taking steps to protect your future fast. That is an incredible amount of money to owe the taxman and I can’t understand how that has accumulated on a high (ish) salary, it isn’t a massive salary by any means. There is clearly more to this than you know and sadly that is unsurprising, given all of the lies and lengthy form for deceit it is a given that you likely don’t know the half of what is going on. I’m not sure what you will gain from staying with him at all

I was going to say this, I used to work in a school and a lot of people wanted jobs as TA’s but had no success, some of them gained TA qualifications but still couldn’t get a job as a TA.

It’s one hell of a mess. If you have equity in the house the obvious thing to do is sell up and use the money to clear the debt. Obviously sell the Porsche too. Depending on how much money is left you could return your son’s money and then buy a smaller house together, or split the money and go your separate ways. You are not responsible for this mess, he’s known all this time and has been lying by omission. However, now that you do know you have to accept that you cannot keep living as you are. Get the house on the market asap.

You can’t just run up debts in a limited company and wind them up because you spent it all. You would make it worse for yourself as you would face charges of fraud and/or tax evasion

If the debt is under his limited company, why doesnt he just wind it up and get a job?

That said the repeated lies and sneaky behavoiur are things I couldnt forgive. And then running away is pathetic

Thank you 😊

How much was the OP spending though she says she never overspent which I take as she never went overdrawn but any surplus she happily spent (and 1500 a month on prescription drugs is a lot).

The way I read it @Tiswa was that originally the opiates were prescribed but then she bought them online on the 'black market', possibly from an overseas source, hence the cost.

And, listen, bro - I'm sorry you got to that point, and glad you came through it.

The first thing you need to do is calm down.

These knee jerk divorce reactions could leave you seriously worse off.

You both need to go through all of the financials together and come up with a solution.

Your DH earning £130k a year gives you a lot of room for manoeuvre to get this sorted out.

I don’t know why posters are being so unkind of disbelieving. This is in no way an unusual situation. The OP is upset because she thought it was over and being dealt with and she has just found out it is not. Shes not being dramatic, she’s not saying she won’t sell her house. She’s just found out there is a problem she wasn’t fully aware of. It’s ok to be shocked and upset.

Don't take this the wrong way but 130k isn't really that much as a single household income. I earn slightly more and am overdrawn all the time at the moment because we just get carried away with activities for our children and holidays. It's definitely not Porsche territory. I think with the tax situation youd needed to be on a lot more before that kind of stuff is a thing.

I’d divorce him because he’s a proven repeated liar and has stolen from your child. Both are unforgivable.

I also don’t believe him and suspect he has an addiction or is still lying to you. I’m worried you may end up homeless.

‘He told me he's incapable of saying no to me (?!)’ that should make you FUMING. The thieving, lying disgusting man has the audacity to blame you? No. This isn’t some frivolous shopping or treating you to a trip or designer shoes (none of which is sounds you have) this is serious disgusting levels of debt he’s wracked up and lied about.

I love how you're in dire straits and you say you wish you had a part-time job. What about a full-time job?

What about selling up your house and car and getting something cheaper and reimbursing your son?

Your husband is as daft as you are - you've been living massively above your means and haven't had the sense to question your finances. He's the one who's lied etc but come on, his salary isn't in Porsche territory, particularly as he has to support you and your son.

Check to make sure there is not a charge against the house with land registry.
Hmrc do not hang around for years where there are large sums and assets

You both need to face up to this. He needs to be totally honest and allow you full access to all accounts and to employ an accountant (surely he has one, possibly completely incompetent?!) There’s no hiding from this.

How much was the OP spending though she says she never overspent which I take as she never went overdrawn but any surplus she happily spent (and @ScarletVelvetSlippers 1500 a month on prescription drugs is a lot).

I suspect the business stopped doing quite so well with a recession hit the OP spending was still a lot and rather than saving money to spent it on a tax bill he simply stopped doing it.

I disagree that this is all the husbands fault I think there is enough in the posts to make inferences as to exactly how it happened and I suspect the OP spending and lifestyle was a factor

honesty is needed now and a reigning in of the lifestyle

None of this really adds up. You need to stop being melodramatic and get to work finding out actual facts. Who owes the tax? Your H or the company? The fact the debt collectors came to the house would suggest it's your H.

Make him (or his accountant) tell you exactly what the debts are, and who they're owed to.

Then go to a solicitor and get advice. Your half of the house is at risk (although actually if you're tenants in common, maybe you'll be ok? Someone with more expertise than me can advise).

fwiw my exH failed to pay his taxes (he was a self employed contractor) and is facing bankruptcy. Luckily for me we were divorced so my house isn't at risk, but my credit record has been affected (and his ability to pay for his children has been too....).

OP, if you're for real, then as people have said, something isn't adding up here. I'd be open to the possibilities that either you've misunderstood or your husband hasn't told you everything.

I'm wondering how your H accessed your son's money that was a child trust fund when your son is now 21.

Exactly this!! Living in a 8 bedroom house driving a flash car! You must have lots of other “ valuables “ lying around get them sold! Downsize, sell everything, sod your husbands watch that’s his problem buy an 3 bed house buy a normal car, get a job! Even then you’d have more than most of us!

I don't know who suggested that TA jobs were easy to come by but where I live they are like gold dust. So many parents want that job to fit in with school hours.
They often go to parents with young children or to parents who have volunteered in schools.
I doubt very much someone mid 50s who's not set foot in a school for decades would even be considered.

If your H made it look as if had resigned from the company that if fraud.
Companies House has a chain of any changes to a company. YOU would have to resign from being the CS.

The other thing is that anyone running a business usually has an accountant to sign of annual accounts and oversee the legal side of what needs filing to HMRC.

Did your H never employ an accountant?

what kind of business was it?

Was it an actual business or was it just him setting up a LTD company for tax reasons and protection if it all went pear shaped?

You don't appear to know the basics, but if you google his name and the name of the company you should find it all online on companies house @Shitsinthepost77

Let's just have an evening recap shall we? The OP and her H owe about £150k. They also need to repay their son. They have a large house to sell or remortgage. There are many painless changes they can make to sort themselves out which is great - money gives you those options doesn't it - and despite OP's protestations she can get some sort of job if needs be.

Both H and OP have done things that have risked their relationship and no doubt affected their son. But seems they can salvage their lives together which the OP clearly wants to do and try to repair their relationship with their son (which I think will be a lot harder - we're not hearing much about him in all this).

They have money, albeit invested in their house. They can stop the drama and sort this out. I think there's absolutely nothing to see here.

IF any of this is true, the drug habit was not quite as some people imagine.

I assume OP was addicted to morphine type drugs because she took something prescribed after an injury and couldn't get off it.

This is very common and it's well documented that too many people get addicted to opiates, prescribed initially within the NHS but allowed to continue too long- then they buy it on the black market.

Having said that she says she was spending up to £1500 a month on drugs which if her H was running a successful business is not going to break the bank.

I don't find much of what she says credible anyway but the thread is still here.