Husband not been paying tax for years

It’s not unusual at all to negotiate tax debt down. How much would it cost the revenue to take a lawyered up individual to court for the £500k? It’s worth the negotiation. Plus, they often throw out wild debts initially to cause panic stress and drama to get engagement.

Yes that's why I think she is complicit in this whole thing. At best she closed her ears, at worst knew exactly what was going on and was living the high life thinking they'd never get caught and is now panicking because they have been

I genuinely cannot fathom the level of naivety it takes to think a salary of £130k a year would afford that lifestyle. Fair enough the OP’s husband is a liar and potentially a fraudster but how can a grown woman living in the world think £130k a year would buy an 8 bed house and a Porsche? It’s bizarre. My household income is just over half that amount and we’re in a three bed and don’t even have a car!

You have an 8 bedroom house and a Porsche and your husband is using your son’s money and pawning off rings to pay his debt?? How utterly bizarre and no wonder your son is pissed off.

You have such an easy solution here (relatively- I know selling up and uprooting isn’t a walk in the park). The fact that you didn’t do this immediately when the debts first came up but rather dipped into your savings for you son makes it very clear that as a couple, you are not accepting the position you’re in: you need to scale down your lifestyle.

Look at it this way - had your husband been paying taxes, you would have had a slightly less luxurious lifestyle over the years anyway. Your current level of living was never rightfully ‘yours’ to begin with. Sell the car, sell the house, pay off your debts, live within your actual means.

Insist on full access to the company accounts as a condition of your marriage remaining intact.

Give your son the savings you’d been putting aside for him back once you’ve downsized. Your husband is clearly irresponsible financially and that money will be in better hands with your son.

You’re in a shit position and a part of me feels for you but be an adult and sort it out. Stop leaving it to your husband, who is clearly either an idiot or a fraud.

There is a difference between LOSSES of a LTD company and outstanding tax.
If he owes £150K in tax, the company has been making a profit it would seem.

Basically, OP, you put your head in the sand.
You believed what your H had told you, after the first tax claim.
You never followed up and he lied.
It sounded odd to me that a tax bill by HMRC for £500K was somehow reduced to £64k by tax accountants. That's one massive reduction- and it turns out the real bill was £150K.

You've shown almost childish disregard for your responsibility and joint finances.

You're equally in the mire with all of this because claiming ignorance is no defence.

You're an adult woman in your 50s who has lived (by all accounts) a pretty cushy life, based on fraud.

If you're honest with yourself, I think you should admit you turned a blind eye to what was happening.

The only way out is to come up with a plan to repay the tax, which may mean you get a job, or sell your house and downsize, or both.

She confirmed it was 8 bedroom though.

I’m no doubt boring and pedantic, but OP describes her house as “eight apartment” which doesn’t mean eight bedrooms. It’s how estate agents might describe a house with eight rooms eg five bedrooms and three reception rooms.

I think that gives it a slightly different perspective. A similarly sized house where I live would be around 300k.-350 asking price.

All of this ^

Plus this from an earlier poster:

” I can't understand women who absolve themselves of that simple adult responsibility.”

Your excuses for behaving with child-like ignorance ran out the day you were appointed company secretary and the FIRST time the debt collectors came to call.

You knew your DH had got himself in a mess with money and you didn’t step up.

You should have been insisting on getting across everything and doing everything together. Why weren’t you saying “never again”?????

Instead you have been content to leave him with the burden of it all and now you are moaning it has happened again. Whilst living n an 8 bed apartment and driving a Porsche!!!

This isn’t even that insurmountable. A household income of £150k is hardly the Wolf of Wall Street territory. Neither is a debt of £150k .

Also depends on what the director has used to secure loans for the business. Most businesses need seed money and the bank will secure it against your house.

I don't think the son really has a trust fund. That's just a term they have called it to make it sound middle class. Think it's just a savings account they were paying into from the sounds of it. Lots of parents set up savings accounts for their children with dreams of being able to present them with thousands when they are older. Generally life gets in the way though. The mistake they made was telling the son about it before they could actually give it to him

Your son is right. Get a lawyer. Leave.

A lot of set up don't pay tax in the 1st year but if you underestimate your earnings in the second year you get hammered. That's where a lot of the problems start snowballing.

Yes. Sounds like it was just a savings account for the son not a trust fund with compensation or inheritance money. It that case it is actually still the parents money until they officially give it to their son. He still took it without her knowing though.

I know someone where this also happened. The husband a high earner absconded when the debt collectors turned up with the hope the tax bill would never be paid. His son tracked him down months later as they assumed he had committed suicide: The marriage broke down and house sold to pay off debts. It transpired after some time the man in question had a mistress he had been seeing/ holidaying/ hiding out with etc for 20 years plus. He was a super high functioning sociopath. His family were destroyed by this.

This im afraid 😨

You need access to all his accounts, work and personal, that's for starters.

I'm 61, never worked in a school before this year and have regular offers of TA work through one agency. I started with SEN work and now only do mainstream. TAs where I am based (southeast) have a high turnover and my agency can't seem to get enough of us.

@Hardhaton1 that’s a bit how I feel about it - I think it’s more likely OP should nip down to the FE college and pick up some decent PC skills and then look for jobs ( depending where she lives of course) in somewhere smart as a receptionist( doctors, vets, beauty clinic etc) or somewhere in retail looking for smart well heeled assistants - jewellers etc
OP, get your PC skills brushed up, look out for posters on shop windows too, if necessary go and do a few months voluntary - look on line for opportunities -

im not poo pooing these other jobs, much needed in society , however as @Hardhaton1 has said, it’s not always that simple to walk into them especially in areas with fewer well paid jobs - we may all think TA is a bit of a ‘fill in ‘ job and rubbish pay - in some areas they are much prized — and setting up a cleaning business isn’t a straight off the bat thing either if it’s more than just you working Asa cleaner ! If it’s that easy and lucrative and in demand how come we have plenty of people sat on their arse who could work but would rather not do care or cleaning? OP isn’t going to starve, I don’t think she wants to split either , so it’s better to be practical rather than just lurch at the first thing - you might not put up with the situation but sometimes people do for all kinds of reasons and advice needs to be based on what is likely to be of use. I come at it from someone who had to liquidate a business around18 years ago due to a supplier overseas stuffing us for near £48k -

we hadn’t insured against it because they were a very solid company who it didn’t cross our minds to insure - suddenly stopped paying and we were later told they wanted us out the way as in actual fact we were kind of competition - I learnt a lot about smiling sharks from that

the fact us you can pull back - we had to sell up as we had bank guarantees, tax liabilities and not enough equity to get out of it -

we did clear it, and built all back up again but have rented since - albeit very nice houses - one thing about owning and being self employed is if anything goes wrong tax wise or client wise - your house will often be on the line

The one where that level of income results in a net income of £6700 a month for a family. Which is not Porsche territory, IMHO, given the cost of everything else.

What planet are you on?

Its not advice at all.

Its a question followed by my opinion I couldnt forgive the lies, sneakiness and running away.

It’s actual madness to think that a woman whose husband has managed to fuck up being in business so spectacularly would be able to start a cleaning business successfully. Popped down to Tesco’s buy some rubber gloves off you go
As for teaching assistance, there’s Qualified teachers doing teaching assistance roles because they can’t secure decent contracts for themselves.
Care jobs yeah absolutely. Every woman who spent her life getting her nails done having facials Pilates followed by a nice lunch. She’s just going to pivot straight into wiping some old man’s arse 🙄
Seemless process 🙄🙄

@Laura95167bad advice. What makes you think this is a good solution?

I know a lady who also owed HMRC about 50k and from memory the LTD company was made bankrupt - if that is the correct phrase? She then set up again, although still going so I imagine all above board now.

Equally, a neighbour said how they hadn't paid tax on the first years earnings and only declared from the second year. She is self employed though not LTD but still, I would be fraught!

No advice OP, I hope you try to remain calm easier said than done I know.