Husband not been paying tax for years

The liquidation is complete. That means OP has no personal liability. There is a course of events in these situations and OP does not have liability.

the liquidation is complete, the debt finalised, the company liquidated and the debt has been Negotiated with husband in a payment plan. OP is not liable.

fwiw it’s very common for accountants and solicitors to act as co sec so you can see how unlikely it is the end up with personal liability.

i COMPETELY agree with you that people should not take on statutory responsibilities without understanding them and I believe companies house are finally trying to make this harder.

Why on earth didn’t he pay tax?

And what was the money spent on? You or he must have been living a lavish lifestyle.

Mine too. Also there is an awful lot of ground between an 8-bed mini mansion and a poky new build studio flat.

OP gently everything you said adds up to wilful
ignorance. It isn’t affordable to live in an eight bed apartment and drive a Porsche on 150k a year salary. If this was based on dividends from a company there would be careful tax that would need to be paid each year.

Not working, not participating in all the finance (when married) and just being okay with ‘Yeah everything is fine’ are major red flags. Especially when you add in your lifestyle.

I don’t agree that running to divorce is the immediate right decision. Right now your relationship is secondary to this mess. As many others have said you need full disclosure of all accounts and get yourself to an accountant/lawyer asap!

How you feel after that will come but considering you are literally penniless with no job and a huge debt (which is joined as you don’t have an become) finances need addressing.

I get you ‘tried’ to work but you aren’t a SAHM of your son is in his 20’s. Apply for any job available and make this your priority.

This is a joke post, you have a Porsche , live in a 8 bedroom house . Course. You live in a cloud cuckoo land. This isn’t real. And if it is then you need therapy. You are a princess. Sell the house and the car and pay back what you owe as clearly you’ve been spending with money you supposedly have

Too many people take on serious statutory responsibilities when they have no idea what they are. If I was the OP I would take proper advice on this. The debt is being collected it has not be been discharged.

Ps. If he commits suicide, the life insurance won't pay out so frankly it is a useless pursuit on so many levels. It may stop the situation getting any worse for him but will leave you well in the shit both emotionally and financially

This. Every word of it.
So insightful.

Yeah, the comment about not wanting to downsize, because the OP is a snob about new builds just about fried my brain. No doubt the pampered princess can't imagine driving a Skoda or a Kia either!

Sounds like there is a simple if somewhat painful answer to this problem. (1) He needs to give authority to you to speak to the accountants because I don't think you are getting the whole story. You said he liquidated the company some time ago. If that is the case, the tax due should have formed part of the sequestration and therefore may not now be due to pay personally by the director unless he simply wound up the company on the basis it was solvent? If the latter, I'm wondering how he managed that as he would need to have filed accounts and they will be available online at companies house for you to view and I would have expected tax falling due to be included in the balance sheet. (2) If the tax is due, cut out all excess spending (see Dave Ramsay baby steps), sell what you can, then channel all excess income into paying off the tax. Worst case, sell the house and pay the equity to the tax (3) if you can stand to stay married to the man, you both need to deal with finances and running a budget going forward. You have left him with sole responsibility which has become too much to handle. Good luck 🤞

Also, life insurance doesn’t pay out if someone commits suicide, obviously, she he is again lying to the OP.

MN probably isn’t the best place for advice but here’s my thoughts.

I agree your husband is a suicide risk and whilst that isn’t on you, I’m sure you don’t want to see that happen. I’d try to tread carefully but insist on total transparency, access to business accounts, meeting with accountant etc, He supported you through an addiction, support him here. If you later decide your marriage is over, then do so be it, but one crisis at a time for the sake of everyone’s mental wellbeing.

I think you need to sell your home and move somewhere far smaller. This way you can pay off the debt and once you understand the state of the business you can assess how much you actually have to live on. Perhaps you can also have a part time role in the business which will also help you keep an eye on things (assuming you stay together.

The reality is HMRC can make him bankrupt and the house would need to be sold anyway. If you divorce there is no way he can afford to keep you in the house. Your Son isn’t a child and even if he was you don’t need an 8 bed house for two people.

Even If HMRC agreed to take monthly payments you’d still need to sell because you can’t afford this life, that’s the bottom line. You can’t afford it without the tax payments!

Your lifestyle sounds lovely, I’m envious of you not having to work but at the nd of the day people are more important than ‘things’ such as cars or luxury holidays.

Anyway, I hope you sort it without any more heartbreak. This must feel huge but actually with some honesty, communication and hard decisions you could be happy again in a year from now.

After reading your updates, I really can’t blame your DH too much.

You need to do a statement of affairs and take the advice on Money Saving Expert

https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/loans/debt-help-plan/

You need to increase your income as a household and decrease your expenses. I would urgently look for a job, you have commented a few times how you aren’t succeeding as you are nicely dressed. Are you aiming for the wrong positions? You need to get any job, whether that’s bar work or temping or a zero hours contract. You can upskill and do refresher courses as well but you need some income.

I would cancel any luxuries in your budget, sell what you can, return anything possible on credit cards, get a Vinted and a Facebook marketplace account and sell what you can.

Post on the debt free wannabe section of the Money Saving Expert forums, you will receive advice and support.

Whether you and your DH stay together or not, you two need open communication and I don’t think there will be an easy way out of this. You need to start with accepting this situation and realising that life was a bit of a fantasy. You need to accept that you and DH need to reign in your spending and focus on clearing the debt and sorting out your financial futures.

Have you got much in the pot for retirement and has your DH? It really sounds like you have been living well outside of your means and not using the money sensibly

As a Company Secretary you have to sign off accounts - so until he removed you as director you must have known something awry!

I don’t understand why you gave him £2k to get the watch out of hock - surely that should go towards the debt?? Or your son’s fund? Something else going on here…

People telling you to leave him etc, however, you would need to sell your house and consider where you are going to live. You say you don't work, so have you just been burying your head in the sand whilst happily spending hmrc's money? Not sure this is all on him tbh.

That's terrible, OP. What a terrible mess to land you in. And then to try to blame it on you liking nice things!

Your son has the correct level outrage. Listen to him.

https://www.gov.uk/guidance/what-will-happen-if-you-do-not-pay-your-tax-bill#hmrc-and-debt-collection-agencies

Proof. An easy Google search.

OP I feel for you hugely and also doubt MN is the place to get good advice and a hand hold.

why haven’t you got a charge against the house? This would be the simplest way to get it over and done with. I suspect the only reason they haven’t done it is because your DH was offering cash which of course they prefer.

take your time. Ignore all the stuff about getting your half in a divorce- you don’t think HMrC are that dumb surely 😂 and just take your time.

it’s not a quick process and it will probably go back to court. This is a brutal process and sadly those with money always come out on top, as you saw when you hired a tax lawyer last time.

your H will be enormously stressed. This is probably the most traumatic thing you both experienced. But in 5 years or so it will be over.

take your time. Marriage counselling etc is really unlikely to be effective in this chaos. Most professionals aren’t equipped to advise on this very niche and high pressure situations.

this isn’t a time for solutionising. Take your time getting over the shock x

Yes, I'm worried sick about my husband's mental health. He said if was dead I'd get half a million but I don't want him to kill himself. I don't think he would. He's told me he'll do everything in his power to rectify this which probably means working abroad where the rates are higher.

This is a massive red flag OP and you are right to be worried. If he is talking about suicide then it needs to be taken seriously. He might ‘rectify’ things in his distorted way of thinking by attempting to or ending his life. He is under a lot of stress, you both are, and he needs help. Get him to see hiis GP who can refer to mental health services.

Downsize the house, sell the car and get a cheap runaround, get a job (any job). You can’t afford to be fussy or snobby about new builds or Porsches anymore.

I've not read every post so apologies if this has already been said but have you set up a repayment plan with HMRC? The bottom line is they want their money. If you can't pay it back at once they'd rather have some than none so will agree a payment plan. So long as you stick to the payment plan it will be fine, although obviously they will add interest to the outstanding balance.

Right, so you're £150k in debt, you're mid-50s, you haven't worked for 20-odd years and are unemployable, you live in an 8-bed house and drive a Porsche - and all because your DH is a lying, irresponsible toad whose been lying to you for years and hasn't been paying any tax. You don't really want to downsize, but you're happy to get rid of the Porsche. Good luck OP! You're living in cloud cuckoo land and have been for years. No wonder you're in shock. Your whole life is a house of cards. The one I feel REALLY sorry for is your poor DS

You don’t fancy moving to a smaller house or continue trying to get any job when your husband-can you plead ignorance?- has defrauded the British tax payer? Poor you. Ignorance shouldn’t be blissful.