AIBU to think my handover should actually be a handover, not me being snapped at?

I think you do need to have a word with the CEO. About which bits of the job you are going to do and which can be binned off, streamlined or delegated, as it is clearly too much as it stands.

She doesn’t just get to decide she’s “had enough” and start giving me one-line brush-offs while I’m trying to get up to speed.

But she does, because she is doing just that.

Sounds like they don’t like her because she wouldn’t brown nose the CEO.

You sound under qualified and as if you want her to do the heavy lifting for you. We’ve had a senior exec start to replace someone else. They have a weekly meeting but that’s about it. The new exec has got stuck in and has hit the ground running.

I was more or less managed into early retirement by a misogynist who wanted me gone because I stood up to him in order to defend my departments and because he saw my going as an opportunity to save money and to put in place someone who wouldn't argue their corner.

The last I heard, I'd had 6 replacements in 6 years.

A handover with my first replacement was organised. I couldn't spend too much time with her because I still had my job to do. I had warned all candidates beforehand about the workload.

The successful candidate came to see me in a state of shock. She'd 'assumed' that the wage had been decreased because the remit had been lightened. It had not.

I really did try to be pleasant and helpful, but it's difficult when you realise that your replacement has been gulled into believing that you weren't up to the job.

My boss is no longer in his post.

ETA I'd already given all candidates info about the extent of the remit.

I'm a bit on the fence.

It sounds like you are expecting training rather than a handover, especially from the comments you've quoted. I view a handover as explaining the major requirements of the role and expecting the person taking over to fill in the gaps in terms of how that's done, by using the expertise and knowledge that should have secured them the job.

Quirks of the systems being used and maybe a few other specifics could be explicitly stated, but you shouldn't have to go through processes to the nth degree.

It sounds like she's frustrated by your neediness.

15 hours of handovers is a lot to expect of anyone. I would focus on learning the "hows" for now, OP, and figure out the "whys" yourself further down the line.

Also sounds like you're just going to trash her because you can't do the role. Bad workman and his tools....

It’s not about wanting every tiny detail spoon-fed, it’s about having enough of a foundation to replicate her daily work so the department output doesn’t suffer during the transition

I don't think I've ever had a handover - generally the previous person has left and the person acting in the role was just holding things together and too busy with their real job to do much handover. You need to talk to your manager about their priorities and expectations and then to any internal and external stakeholders- what do they need, what was working for them and what wasn't etc. And of course the team itself if it's a line manager position. It's really not her job to provide more than she has and if you go to the CEO and complain she's only given you 15 hours and hasn't trained you how to replicate her thinking it's not going to look good for you.

I cannot imagine expecting this level of hand holding. The most handover I've ever had was one side of A4, and for one senior role I got nothing at all, just a mess of files. You are being incredibly unreasonable and it sounds as though you aren't capable of doing this role.

She probably expected to hand over to someone a bit more competent.
You sound like you need her constant input to do the role and there's probably work she needs to complete on top of finding time for that.

Oh OP you really are being very naive here. That’s simply not how things work. Push this line and there is a decent chance she will say fuck it and go off sick until end of notice period and get paid for it and you will get zero extra handover.

Just remember you catch more flies with honey than vinegar.

IME a handover is a bit of background on key clients and staff members, and the contacts or files you'll need to get the information you need. Not detailed instruction on how to do the role.

Handover is not meant to be training though.

I've never had 15 hours handover in any job. My BIL recently left his role and was saying the new person needed so much support lhe was getting fed up.

They had a 2 week handover and he said she was asking so many questions.

Oh dear, wrong thread!!

If you're struggling with this level of handover I'm not sure what you think she can give you? As others have said 15 hours plus notes is an incredibly generous handover. Treat it like a brand new role and start from scratch if you can't understand her work. I'm love a blank sheet and making a role mine. Just following someone else's template isn't really a senior role. You need to have confidence in yourself and your abilities and lead the way.

I’m struggling to even read the thread. Hell would freeze over before I’d eat it 🤮

IME, once someone's given notice, it's very difficult to get that report or project done with any quality.

15 hours is a lot.

IME you get access to their files, a few notes and then work it out yourself. Which is the best way anyway, as if she's been struggling she may not have been doing it right , and if you know the field you'll know where to find the information you need.

Totally agree with this.

Realistically though what do you think complaining about her is going to achieve?

That’s all very well in theory. The reality is that a lot of people do the absolute minimum during their notice period - especially if the exit isn’t on the best of terms - because a) they have mentally checked out and b) they know there won’t be any reprisals.

In your report example, what would they say if she did indeed refuse to do the report? Put her on a disciplinary? Try to claim gross misconduct? She’s leaving anyway! It would be so much more trouble than it’s worth.

Your expectations are wildly unrealistic. 15 hours is a huge amount of time. You need to take some time to review where you have knowledge gaps and work out how to fill them yourself. You should be speaking to other people in the business not the outgoing incumbent. It’s unsurprising that’s she’s running out of patience with you at this point and you should accept she’s not going to give you any more information.

You mentioned bridging the gap between theory and technical, unfortunately that is experience and can be a call based on the inputs or circumstances.
That is where seniors come in, bridging the gap and just making a call.
But unfortunately there aren't set rules for those times, that you can check on a matrix. If there are actually any set rules, making a decision matrix or escalation path could actually be a very good idea!

Did she tell you she's on the autistic spectrum? I'd be very careful of any company that disclosed that to you and gave it as a reason.
I hope she looks into constructive dismissal and disability discrimination.