Aunts friendship with young couple

I'm about the same age as the aunt and I'd be hugely offended - angry even - to have somebody thank my friends or neighbours for taking care of me!

This. There’s every chance they’re just lovely young people carving out their own ‘family’ in the UK.

I hope your aunt hears about this and tells you to stop being so bloody patronising.

They sound amazing. In this tech world, many older people value help with that in particular.

Don’t worry though OP. They may have one or two kids soon and move out. Leaving your aunt without their meddling help.

Does say something about the world when we hear about people being kind and it makes us worried.

I would introduce yourself to them in a "thank you for taking care of my Aunt, I've heard such great things aboit you" and you could give them your number incase anything happens.

They probably are just nice people but it doesn't hurt from any perspective to know you're around.

I would also want to meet them. It could be that they are lovely helpful people or they could have ulterior motives. I don’t thing it is wrong to feel a bit concerned in this situation. Not saying they have done anything wrong but sounds like they might have had access to her card details if they have been helping her buy things online.

I am in my 30’s and have friends from 20’s up to 100. There is a 100 year old lady who lives alone nearby and I pop round for coffee and a chat or help with odd jobs. My motivation is that she is engaging, has fantastic stories, and it is company for her. I’ve not been given anything in return (and would not expect it) but if she gave me a gift card it wouldn’t be any different to a friend getting a gift. Her daughter lives abroad and she spoke to me on the phone once and I said she was more than welcome to knock on and meet me when she is next in the area. If you are concerned why not meet the couple?

It is great that you are concerned for your aunt but she sounds capable and having friends of different age groups is a positive thing. If she chooses to buy them gift cards and they haven’t asked I wouldn’t worry. I understand the concern but given that your aunt is sound of mind and there are some kind people around it sounds above board.

I used to do this for my neighbour during Covid when she had no family available to visit. Italians are genuinely lovely, hospitable people. I used to work at an Italian restaurant firm in head office (with an industrial kitchen downstairs) when my kids were little and I had no childcare for two weeks. My god, they told me to bring them into the office, they had colouring laid out for them, taught them how to make pasta, fed them ALL DAY for nothing. My oldest who’s 20 still messages an ex colleague (I stopped working there 10 years ago) for recipes and his mother who we have never met sends us a gift basket at Christmas of Italian stuff 😂😂😂.

I’m 34 now but definitely would have helped an older neighbour out like this in my 20’s. I was a qualified nurse at 21, why would it be so wild that someone in their 20’s respected and wanted to help an older lady and have no agenda? My friend has become really good friends with her older neighbour, nothing in it she’s just super friendly with both him & his wife now. A bit of a grandchild relationship to be honest, she’s motivated him to get back to the gym etc. In general terms I’d say it’s also culturally different how Europeans view/treat their elders than generally speaking in the UK.

My parents were befriended in their eighties by a young Moroccan couple. They cooked for them and took them out places. They also stole many thousands from them over a period of time, including all of my mother’s jewellery.

My mother was utterly convinced by them, wouldn’t hear a word against them. I could do nothing because they were living abroad. I did my best to keep them at bay and inevitably they slipped up and gave themselves away.

There’s every possibility that the couple helping your aunt are just lovely caring neighbours, but because of my experience I’d be watchful.

Yes, my parents had lovely neighbours who kept a daily eye on them. Great couple, and no devious intent. 🤷‍♀️

I think you should go up and speak to them. Thank them for their kindness and give them your phone number and email address to keep on their fridge.

Tell them that if they ever have any concerns they should be in touch with you straight away.

Also ask them for their numbers and emails so you can contact if necessary. For example, your Aunt says or does something concerning.

It's probably all ok and they are kind but they need to know that you are the relative.

This 👆

When I was in my mid twenties I volunteered with Age UK and visited older people in their homes, helped out with errands etc. Some young people just like to be helpful and enjoy the company of older people. In your situation I would go up and introduce myself when you're visiting her, give them your number and get to know them a bit. They sound lovely

My Dd and her boyfriend live in London and have a very similar relationship with their upstairs neighbour who’s in his 70s and has very little interaction with anyone else.

Im really proud of them for looking out for him! You should be very grateful your aunt has someone on hand she can rely on.

Why do people see bad in everything these days?
Because scammers steal £11Bn from the British public every year? (GASA, 2024)

This thread is actually really heart warming. Kudos to all the lovely kind people on here who have helped and befriended elderly neighbors.

I’d be so grateful! My aunt sounds a LOT like your aunt (technophobe, single in the same flat for years) but she has Parkinson’s so needs a bit more help.

Despite living in the same flat for ages none of her neighbours do anything beyond sending a Christmas card and polite exchanges in the hallway. In covid they would help her into the shared garden and chat socially distanced, but now they just rush by. I would LOVE if someone living so close was looking out for her!

When I was in my 20s (and at uni) I loved my older neighbours. Felt like having a grandparent and someone to look out for me in a big, lonely, and (at times) scary city. Also they loved hearing all my stories (I’m a chatterbox)- kept them young. Definitely a mutual benefit and not strange at all.

Do keep an eye out but don’t be overly suspicious.

I’m also in the camp to meet them
at some point. I’m afraid from sad experience with my godmother who was befriended by someone who I continue to believe meant well in some ways but was also a chaos agent, the more connections your aunt visibly has, the better supported she will be.

I aim to be a good neighbour, but am also aware eg that my single NDN in her late 70s is better connected than the King, she has literally dozens of close and involved friends. I have a feeling that if God forbid something happens to her, I will be fighting with the crowds to try and do something for her. There may still be a role for me as someone in the spot. I hope they turn out to be just a lovely warm couple.

I don’t know if I’m just very untrusting but I have children in their mid 20s and while I’d like to think they would help if asked I don’t think they would ever even consider going this far for someone they don’t know.

That is a pity, but maybe they will become kinder as they get older.

I think sometimes people do have ulterior motives so I understand your concern but it’s not always the case. My next door neighbour found out she had cancer while in lockdown and though she had good friends she didn’t have family. I cooked meals for her, got her food shopping, sent her long emails to catch up and chat (she didn’t like to talk on the phone!). I took her to some hospital appointments etc. I wanted nothing from her and had no intentions other than helping a neighbour in need, she was a lovely woman, so very grateful for my time, she made it easy to be friends. (I was 40, she was 75).

Why do people see bad in everything these days?

If my parents were all on their own and had a younger neighbour who popped in, cooked for them etc I'd be really grateful. I wouldn't automatically assume they were being conned. It's bloody patronising for one thing.

I live 8000 miles away from my elderly widowed mother, and she has the most wonderful younger neighbours who moved in just before my dad died and are a godsend to her. They help her with practical stuff and she entertains their young kids. Frankly, if they took my inheritance, they would deserve it. They are excellent friends, and you are never too old to make new ones.

Unless she is cognitively impaired, there is no issue here.
70 is quite young really and no reason why she can’t learn how to face time etc. My much older disabled aunt has learnt how to use WhatsApp and uses that to keep in touch.