Day of Dad’s funeral; Council demand Mum sell her house day after

I don't understand the part about your father's will being incorrectly written? What is incorrect, and who made the error in writing it?

If your mother cannot live at home without 24/7 care she will be offered respite care but it will be in a care home, they will not fund in home care generally. They will expect the house to be put on the market if she has a permanent place in the care home. The reason it’s so quick is you say she cannot be in the house alone, what do you suggest.

The council are trying to help. They can't force her to sell up. But, having assets, she can't force them to provide care. If not done already, see Citizens Advice, Age UK etc, and look into NHS continuing care.

Seconding the suggestion of a Deferred Payment Arrangement. This was set up for my mum when she had to go onto a care home, and meant we had time to sort through the house and carry out a some repairs before it went on the market. The money from the sale was not ‘controlled by the council’ - we paid the money due for those first months of care, then the remainder went into my mum’s bank account, though it was of course used for her care costs for the next few years.

It sounds as though that you have got a standard letter about paying for care or the possibility of your mum moving into a care home (did your dad provide some care for her?), but it is obviously overwhelming. Can you provide more details of how you’ve been paying for her care so far and what the letter actually says?

What an unimaginably awful day OP.

I hope you manage to find a resolution soon 💐

I guess the reference to equity release is because if that were possible, DM could use it to fund private care allowing her to stay at home for longer? And maybe the will reference is because DF didn't leave his share of the house to DM but instead a life interest?

OP I'm sorry for your loss. Would DM actually be safe at home with private carers and no DF?

Those piling on the op please remember she is newly bereaved and councils can and are often this callous so please came down a bit.

Send condolences op xxxx

I think this is probably it. Mum used to be self-funding, isn't now. Assessment has been done and she needs full-time care. Safest and cheapest in a care home.

And OP I know it looks like SS want houses but SS funding is completely broken. It's funding care, not SWs or SS departments. SWs IME work very hard to get care for those that can't pay. Your mum can, because of the house. FT care is so so expensive and there isn't the money to pay for it unless people who can pay, do. And equity release is dreadful.

So sorry for your loss.

Sleepeye was not harassing you OP.

I know you must be in turmoil at the moment but your post really doesn't make a lot of sense.

If it is the case that the council are insisting that the house be sold to pay for care, and this is the crux of your distress, then you need to ask for a Deferred Payment Arrangement. This way the council can start providing care and they will take payment for it once the house is sold.

I don't know if that helps, I hope I have interpreted your post correctly.

You have a month of private care left (already paid for I am presuming) sounds like they are trying to plan for what will happen at the end of this month? What was the long term plan for your Mum before he died? Selling your home to pay for care is what many people have to do. The sale can be deferred though.

I get the timing feels insensitive but it sounds like her care needs are really high, and the care has to be provided by someone - this all needs planning and put in place so that she's not stuck once the private funding runs out?

Consult age concern they will be able to advise you of your mothers rights
in the meantime sit tight they cannot evict her

Hi OP, not entirely sure what you are saying here - are you saying that your individual social worker had the ability to halt this individual automated letter about the house and chose not to do so? I imagine the letter was triggered at local council level, is that correct?

'I told the social worker before funeral that we wanted DM at home for a while before any more major life changes, in case the shock kills her.'
What did the social worker say in response, and what did they explain to you in relation to the rules in place for these kinds of circumstances?

Do you mean - your mother needs to move into a care home, and will need to pay for it. Until then, there is a very minimal care package.

Presumably the council have got in touch to let her know finding options, including the house sale.

Equity release seems a very odd option to pay for care, so not sure why that’s relevant (or what it would have to do with a will).

If she's been self funding why are ss involved, if she needs 24hr care then she needs a full care needs and financial assessment, she cant just move into a home, why are the council controlling her money, does she own her house, we're they married, does she have capacity and is there any power of attorney in place. Sorry for your loss, it's a difficult time and I would call the ss manager to ask why they rang. Does she have a parkinsonism nurse.

How is the will incorrect?

Sorry OP but none of this makes sense on the face of it. You need to explain.

Councils also don't "lick their lips" at getting cash from a house sale because they don't get the cash from a house sale.

They may however insist that individuals use their own assets and resulting funds to pay for their care. Is that what is happening here? I.e. you've run out of your own funds and you want the council to pay for care now, but the council is saying they won't as your mum owns too much value in assets?

SS know Dad died. They know his will is wrongly written and we can’t do equity release as a result.

What does this mean?

Edit: I know what equity release is but why does your dad's will mean your mum can't do ER on a house she now owns.

They obviously want the money to cover her care costs.
She and her DH spent all their cash on their own care, and now if the mother needs care it’ll need to be funded by the sale of the house.

Presumably to pay for her care.
But could they not put a charge on the house instead?
So that in the fulness of time when the house is sold then they can recoup the cost of her care.
Have you taken legal or financial advice on this?
You need to ASAP.
In the meantime how about contacting local councillor.

If she is self funding (either you or her are paying) then she can have whatever care she wants.

if she’s not got any money and SS will be paying for care then they will assess her and care will be provided at whatever level they feel she needs.

round the clock care is generally provided in a care home as it’s cheaper.

does she have the option of downsizing and paying for cars that way?

SS have to do things by the book but it is incredibly insensitive to force the house sale so soon. Can a deferred payment be put in place? Has DM got over £23,250 in savings? Is DM claiming Attendance Allowance and council tax benefit?
I’m genuinely so sorry for the loss of your father and how distressing this is for you and DM. I wish SS would be more helpful and human for you. Here if you need support.