To tell my almost 12 month old “no”

Why is ‘ah ah’ better than ‘no’??

NO should be one of the words children hear and understand the most until they are teenagers! And beyond!
You would be doing him a disservice by not keeping him safe!

really? baby never stuck it's finger up her nose or something?

At that age we put a playpen around our tv, and the VHS that was with it (they could ‘post’ things into a VHS machine). You can reconfigure the playpen panels if you have the same type we did. We had to push other furniture to wedge the panels between the console table holding tv/VHS and the furniture, so our living room looked ‘interesting’ for many years.

Similarly at Xmas, we’d redo and add extra panels to quarantine a Xmas tree off from little people as well.

@margegunderson Don’t say a baby is in a tummy either then!

Sounds like you are in need of parenting lessons you should have been saying no if they were touching stuff they shouldn’t as soon as they touched it.

Just saw this, the laugh can just be a sign of discomfort rather than happiness. Some kids cry when they hear no/get told off, and some laugh. Both are them trying to process the ‘discomfort’ of displeasing you. Keep saying no when you need to!

You really don’t want to meet a child who’s never been told no. As everyone else said. Say no firmly, maybe why (a very simple explanation) then move them away. And while you’re at it, comment on things you’ll want to raise later - like someone using the potty, who has a baby in her tummy. You want to introduce concepts earlier than you’d think. Personally I despair of parents who refuse to tell their children anything about reproduction till they’re in year 6 and have picked up wrong info in the playground.

How do you manage 12 months of their life without every saying no and starting to try to teach them the basics. Of course you don't expect a lot, but you naturally start?

Well yes, but the OP was just asking for advice.
She doesn't need to be lambasted by everyone.

Not sure how controversial this will be but I save ‘no’ for stuff which is dangerous/harmful. Once babies are active, you can find yourself stuck in an endless loop of saying no because they just want to be in/on/under/eating everything. I think if you use no all the time, they respond less immediately to it when you really need them to listen (when you’re worried about their safety or perhaps someone else’s (eg hitting or biting)). So, if it’s safety related, I used a firm ‘no’ or ‘no, danger’ and moved them away from whatever it is. If it was something less ‘important’ but still annoying, I’d just redirect them (pick them up) and say ‘let’s look at this now’ or ‘toys are for playing’. If you can, move away from the tv altogether if they keep trying to get to it - mainly to save yourself redirecting them a million times as babies have no impulse control. A few other examples I just thought of: climbing up slides - I just said ‘slides are for sliding’ and moved them away. Or ‘we only throw balls’ (throwing toys) or ‘food is for eating’ (throwing food).

As I said, I did this to avoid saying no all day. It can feel like such a negative cycle (for you and them) if every move they make comes with a ‘no’. So switching up your language can help. I know it’s frustrating but it can be years before these things really click so if you can baby proof rooms (put things out of reach/block them with a deeper tv stand or something) that can also help.

Definitely don’t worry about saying no though - there are plenty of times it is really important to say it, especially if they are in danger or hurting someone else.

What would have done OP if people said it was unreasonable to say no. Just let him knock the TV over?

it's a bit odd to even ask, and wait 12 months, to say the word "no"!

Even with a baby, they grab your hair or your necklace, you gently say "no". I mean, surely for most people it just happens naturally?

How do you manage 12 months of their life without every saying no and starting to try to teach them the basics. Of course you don't expect a lot, but you naturally start?

It is funny when they dont act the same, I remember with my 2 the second is so different from the first.
Like DS1 had dummys, so I got plenty ready for DS2 - no, not interested at all!

I was thinking this! I’m pretty sure my 18 month old thinks her name is no, last name “careful”😂

Say no and be firm with it.

My eldest was a rule follower even as a baby and toddler - you could tell her no once and she would stop doing whatever it was. From about the age of 3 I could get her to stop doing something with a slight shake of the head.

It was a bit of a shock when the youngest had her first tantrum at the age of 8 months because I moved the TV controller out of her way. I knew then she was going to be very different.

But firm, age appropriate boundaries and consistency were employed and generally worked.

There were still tantrums, but they didn't last long and I kept the same approach in public as at home by re-iterating boundaries and not giving in or being inconsistent due to embarrassment.

I did pick my battles though - and it wasn't often they got told an outright 'no', so when I did say no they knew I meant it.

I know where you are coming from OP, with my eldest i wanted to do everything right with lovely gentle parenting and I was afraid just saying ‘no’ would in some way be detrimental to him so i offered up long waffle explanations that he didn’t understand, then he didn’t know what the rules were, and we ended up in a right old fix with him having tantrums and me trying to waffle my way out of them.

Then I just got pissed off with it and started saying no with a brief explanation like ‘no, that’s hot.’ it’s good for them and plays the groundwork for when they’re older and want to skip school or spend £200 on something daft - you’ll have to say no then. So it’s better to become a normal word in your house, not a scary judgemental word, just a simple no.

How have you avoided the word 'no' for an entire year?

Obviously you can say 'no' if you don't want him to do something but don't expect it to be an effective way to stop him doing something at this age. If you don't want him to do something you need to physically stop him from doing it. Saying 'no' at the same time is fine so he understands the association.

I don't think OP's 6 month old climbs on the bird cage.

Our crawling babies could not reach the tv. Pulling themselves onto their feet they could. We took the view to toddler proof everything or they are not safe. Tv went higher! So also wary of sharp edges and anything that might topple over. We had socket covers too and made sure DC couldn’t get at wires for lamps or the lamps themselves. When they get moving @scarybuttrueyou live differently. You should also say “no” when dc is clearly going to do something that’s unsafe. Get a stair gate too! Life changes!

I have a toddler & we say no, at that age it’s about redirection/distraction as much as it is about using the word “no” though.

You could also add why you do not want him to touch something. “No touching the oven, it’s hot and dangerous” “No touching the TV, it is heavy and dangerous”

rather than NO!

Right from wrong (don't steal, don't lie) and 'dont pull the bookcase, it will fall on your head' are totally different though.

I acknowledge I'm a a hideous, evil parent but I was firm on my NO's when it came to safety - touching potentially hot stuff, plug sockets, whatever - when they were crawling.

I absolutely DID want them to be wary of those things because you have to have eyes in the back of your head with toddlers.

They have gone on to lead full lives and can use the oven and plug things in.

At this age impulse control is very very low. So they can understand no but the impulse to still do the thing is stronger. It’s not being naughty. There are some great websites and books out there about baby development. Babies cannot be disobedient at this age.
But he can learn what no means with gentle reinforcement. Plus distraction. Fortunately they are also very portable at this age so they can be picked up and moved somewhere safer.