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AIBU to think there is not enough focus on parents when kids cut them off

130 replies

diddlysquatagain · 17/09/2025 11:24

Posting on AIBU for traffic.

I know that there are many cases of terrible abuse which lead to a child cutting contact with their parents — I understand that.

But in the last few years, I’ve come across an increasing number of cases where parents are flummoxed as to why they’ve been cut off.

I have a female friend whose adult child (around 30 — I personally think he’s experiencing mental health issues, having previously trained and, I believe, used steroids) has cut off contact, and the stories he’s been telling others verge slightly on conspiracy theories. In fact, and this is history repeating itself, the DC's father - who is the one I would actually term a 'narcissist' who wasn't around but reappeared and now has a stong hold - had a parent who also cut contact with their parent so it seems to be a pattern repeated.

This post is not for those who say, “you don’t know the full story, there is always another side to it.” I want to hear from parents who have been cut off or estranged but genuinely don’t know why and are heartbroken.

Of course, no parents are perfect — we shout, we sometimes overlook things, there are myriad minor and not so minor failings — but I’d like to hear stories to better understand.

More generally, I’ve noticed in younger generations a tendency to cut off friendships if those friends are a bit down and are labelled as “toxic” (I dislike that word intensely). In some cases “toxic” has been described as “someone who just talks about their own problems.” I feel this is dismissive. If someone is suffering from depression, that is exactly what they end up doing - it’s part of the illness. I would never drop a friend for that, but people do nowadays - at the drop of a hat.

As I say, I would like to hear from those parents who - albeit not perfect - truly don’t know why their children chose to go no-contact.

Edited by MNHQ for the OP to remove content that wasn't meant to be part of her post

OP posts:
Ncforthistodayonly · 17/09/2025 11:28

Shucks was actually about to reply...

MNJury · 17/09/2025 11:26

😆

MNJury · 17/09/2025 11:26

Would you like me to make this even more concise and direct, or keep the reflective conversational tone?

Oh, I'd keep it conversational if I were you.

AMillionTomorrows · 17/09/2025 11:25

You left Chat GPTs last line on your post there.

Trickabrick · 17/09/2025 11:25

diddlysquatagain · 17/09/2025 11:24

Posting on AIBU for traffic.

I know that there are many cases of terrible abuse which lead to a child cutting contact with their parents — I understand that.

But in the last few years, I’ve come across an increasing number of cases where parents are flummoxed as to why they’ve been cut off.

I have a female friend whose adult child (around 30 — I personally think he’s experiencing mental health issues, having previously trained and, I believe, used steroids) has cut off contact, and the stories he’s been telling others verge slightly on conspiracy theories. In fact, and this is history repeating itself, the DC's father - who is the one I would actually term a 'narcissist' who wasn't around but reappeared and now has a stong hold - had a parent who also cut contact with their parent so it seems to be a pattern repeated.

This post is not for those who say, “you don’t know the full story, there is always another side to it.” I want to hear from parents who have been cut off or estranged but genuinely don’t know why and are heartbroken.

Of course, no parents are perfect — we shout, we sometimes overlook things, there are myriad minor and not so minor failings — but I’d like to hear stories to better understand.

More generally, I’ve noticed in younger generations a tendency to cut off friendships if those friends are a bit down and are labelled as “toxic” (I dislike that word intensely). In some cases “toxic” has been described as “someone who just talks about their own problems.” I feel this is dismissive. If someone is suffering from depression, that is exactly what they end up doing - it’s part of the illness. I would never drop a friend for that, but people do nowadays - at the drop of a hat.

As I say, I would like to hear from those parents who - albeit not perfect - truly don’t know why their children chose to go no-contact.

Edited by MNHQ for the OP to remove content that wasn't meant to be part of her post

Not sure about the last sentence in this - are you using ChatGPT to ask this question?