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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think not giving kids a phone is now seen as neglectful

58 replies

cadburyegg · 16/09/2025 21:51

My y6 has started to go to the park after school with friends sometimes. He has a Nokia brick phone but doesn’t want to take it to school so he goes without a phone. I don’t track him with the likes of an AirTag either. Met up with my friend last week who tracks her kids when they go to all their clubs and friends houses - they are younger so obviously supervised by an adult 24/7 and she clearly disagrees with me not having any device on my DS. She kept saying but what if something happens.

He has his school residential coming up and parents are shocked that phones are not allowed and as such they can’t contact their kids for 2 days.

My colleagues all track their adult children (well into their 20s) and last week my colleague panicked because she couldn’t see where her 23 year old son was.

I feel like this is just becoming the norm now and kids not having smartphones is now seen as downright neglectful?? AIBU?

OP posts:
FuzzyWolf · 16/09/2025 22:08

Elsvieta · 16/09/2025 22:01

Wow, the school are actually banning phones for a couple of days? Good on them. Wouldn't have occurred to me they would even try. Because, yes, a lot of people these days seem to think not letting kids have phones is a form of abuse. Madness.

What sort of wet lettuce of a twentysomething lets their parents track them? What normal young adult wouldn't just laugh their arse off if they even suggested it? This is exactly what this sort of ludicrous helicoptering leads to. We've got adults who have been absolutely emotionally stunted by this nonsense.

Most schools here ban smartphones and watches altogether until Y9 and upwards. Dumb phones have to be handed in each day.

Stewberman · 16/09/2025 22:08

That's not my experience, but I think a big social class divide is opening up on this issue. In my area the lefty, upper middle class families are all giving their kids brick phones and delaying smartphones until well into secondary. Those that do give smartphones (because they're needed for the bus or something), are giving ones without social media.

StillCreatingAName · 16/09/2025 22:07

Your colleagues track their adult children?! I’d say that’s the concern. Your DC sounds resilient and sensible, will be able to manage in life without the umbilical cord still attached.

LancashireSquirrel · 16/09/2025 22:03

YANBU. I agree with other posters as well. My child is currently abroad on their residential and no contact for three nights. They don’t have a phone so couldn’t contact me even if they were allowed!

It’s very hard but it’s part of life. We’ve become completely obsessed with 24/7 contact and tracking. We’ve lost touch on reality.

Elsvieta · 16/09/2025 22:01

Wow, the school are actually banning phones for a couple of days? Good on them. Wouldn't have occurred to me they would even try. Because, yes, a lot of people these days seem to think not letting kids have phones is a form of abuse. Madness.

What sort of wet lettuce of a twentysomething lets their parents track them? What normal young adult wouldn't just laugh their arse off if they even suggested it? This is exactly what this sort of ludicrous helicoptering leads to. We've got adults who have been absolutely emotionally stunted by this nonsense.

padronpepper · 16/09/2025 22:00

I think the tide is turning and people are hopefully becoming more aware of the harm being done to children by being tracked.

FuzzyWolf · 16/09/2025 21:58

I think that many people are coming away from smartphones, especially for children.

I don’t track any of my children although I do have an AirTag for my car keys.

Contycont · 16/09/2025 21:56

I think you are ahead of the curve and that most parents/schools will be discouraging phones for under 16s soon enough. There are a lot of campaigns in this direction.

When I went on a residential over 20 years ago we were expected to use the phone at the facility to check in with our parents. We sort of had slots of time to do it. 2 days is quite a long time to be out of contact with your parent/child at that age so I can see why there's a bit of a fuss. But it doesn't have to be smart phones or nothing.