To think not giving kids a phone is now seen as neglectful

It is completely crazy. Some friends of ours tracked their children on school trips etc from Reception age with air tags on their backpacks.
My oldest (year 5) is incessantly asking for a mobile phone, she has clearly been told by us that she won't get one until secondary school in 2 years time, gave seen that several of her friends have them. I can see it's a social divide as someone mentioned above - the children of professional/higher income families don't have them, many of the lower income families children do have them.

No phones on a residential is normal and v important. You stick with your phone policy OP.

I don’t know how it’s perceived but my children won’t be having smart phones. Also I think by the time they are old enough for this to be a question social media will have heavier restrictions for under 16’s in the UK.

I’m in between the two. For school residentials I think it’s absolutely fine that phones aren’t allowed, but if my DC are walking somewhere on their own then I do like to track them so I know they have arrived. Mine didn’t get phones until they started secondary.

It’s quite normal for people to track their adult children. If you don’t have adult children you won’t understand, but worry for their safety doesn’t end the day they turn 18.
I don’t track my children everyday but when they on a night out or on holiday I do. Also their boyfriends/girlfriends track them so if I wanted to know where they are I would be able to.

You do need to remember when we where kids there where phone boxes now there isn't i do think a mobile is a necessity for children when they are out and about

Residential in the early 90s involved no phones at all. We didn’t contact our parents at all and everyone survived.

The world has gone mad.

it was great when mine went on a residential with no phones although many parents didn’t agree.
My daughter has a phone and has done since end of year 5. As soon as she started walking home from school we wanted her to have one. Maybe yes weird we teach her but it gives us peace of mind although we expect her to check with us about where she can go.
She uses it to contact and keep in contact with friends. We limit it and have rules like not at the table, not when we’re out, away at a certain time.

I’ve never tracked my kids, I just never felt the need. I’d have absolutely despised my parents tracking me. I see parents on the University facebook group (that’s largely for parents) posting saying they can’t sleep until they’ve checked their DC is home or watching their tracking for ages, wondering why they are at such and such a place. It’s unhealthy. My kids came home from school on the bus at 11 and they just sent me a text when they arrived home. Later I had a ring so could see they’d arrived home. That was sufficient for me.

YANBU. No dc here yet but we've already discussed keeping kids on brick phones unless absolutely necessary until some point in senior school. I hate the idea of tracking too. I have a weak ankle and have had falls so I can see scenarios where I'd use it, but not as a standard.

I had such a free childhood. My parents weren't soft touches but they weren't too strict, I had a lot of privacy. In this regard it saddens me how much stricter and less free we know we would have to be as a baseline, due to technology.

And quite right that they shouldn't. They should be experiencing all the residential has to offer, not on the phone to mummy and daddy all day.
If you have an emergency you can contact the school and they will contact the leaders. And likewise, if there is an emergency their end, you will be contacted.

Adults in their TWENTIES being tracked?? Surely not? Unless it’s some sort of family thing where they can also see their spouse and each other? If not then that’s ridiculous.

I have a sort of love/hate relationship with smartphones. They are useful in so many ways. They are an integral part of modern life now. But they are also addictive, can cause no end of problems with teens, social media is full of brain rot. Too many secondary schools also insist on homework/timetables/bus passes being on apps as well.

I would say the opposite. 5 years ago phones were ubiquitous. Now, more and more parents are not giving in.

I would say its the exact opposite. Its seen as far more neglectful to give them a smartphone.

smartphones are so so so bad for children

Goodness, when I was a child we survived just fine and our parents trusted our common sense and the adults in charge of us to look after us. Went camping with guides on Dartmoor age 10 for a week - no phone. Travelled by coach between Devon and Dorset, with a loo and snack stop, and a later change of coach age 11 alone...
There are children, and there are infants. Most children age 7 and over have a fair amount of common sense IMO and should be given increasing chance to take responsibility for looking after themselves.

My 12yo recently had phone issues which left him unable to catch the bus using his phone app with pass linked in (and had lost his emergency £5) and was unable to phone me. He had to walk 3 miles home. Not a critical incident, but not an ideal situation either. There is nowhere in that walk where it's possible to make an emergency phone call and the world has changed from when I was his age in the early 90s.

Smart phones are useful tools with access to maps, timetables etc and increasingly the world is assuming that people have access to them by default. They have their pitfalls too and do need treating with caution.

When my DCs are away on school/ scouting trips, the leaders will be in touch if any issues arrive. I trust those leaders and all the organisational protocols they've gone through to organise the trip so I don't need the DCs to be directly contactable. No news is good news.

I don't routinely track my DCs. I won't say never, but it hasn't been needed yet. I have used tracking features when I've been running so the DCs can check where I am if they want... they don't.

Setting my two up with phones at Christmas y6 was at the late end of their classes. Many had phones by y5. I saw no need for it until they were building independence and preparing for secondary school.

It's difficult to balance online safety with the realities of life in 2025.

There's a black mirror episode about this.

My 9 year old doesn't have a phone but also doesn't go anywhere by himself yet. I will get him a phone for when he's out and about by himself but not planning on tracking him.

Look up the smartphonefreechildhood page on Instagram/web. Lots of good, positive useful info giving parents the confidence to not giving their child a smartphone.

How can a child under adult supervision be neglected by not having a phone? Tracking on school trips and at clubs is ridiculous and intrusive. I do think if they’re out in public alone it’s helpful for them to be able to call for help - thinking of the time my DC was with a mate who split his head open and had no idea what to do next - but if you personally don’t want to give them a smart phone give them a brick.

My kid has a smartphone - no social media, only approved apps, switched off at school and handed to me from 9pm until after breakfast. They have a smartphone rather than brick for when they catch a bus alone (ticket on phone, timetable is on an app) and so I can track them cycling 4 miles to school. I could argue that the parents who won’t let their secondary school aged kid cycle or have a phone but drive them to school and never let them out of adult supervision are neglectful in another way…

I will not be tracking my kids as adults, that’s just weird.

Lol-ing at fitting the description of “lefty upper middle class” for the first time in my life (thanks @Stewberman) while also fitting the description of ‘neglectful’ as per the OP. DC’s old school and new one banned phones entirely for juniors including on the yr4 residential and yr6 residential.
I have no plans to track as they get older either, DH and I don’t location share, I find it a bit intrusive tbh

Totally agree. I’m struggling at the moment as my 8 year old wants one because most of her friends have one but I think I they’re really dangerous and that she’s far too young.

Judging by a recent long thread on this, adults tracking other adults is completely normal, even desirable for many people.

Oh God, people have gone bloody mad. What's wrong with everyone?
It's totally abnormal to be tracking their movements. For Christ sake.
What message does that send out to these kids? It teaches them that they're not safe and need to be monitired/tracked/contacted wherever they go and whatever they do.
Bloody ridiculous and unhealthy.
OP they're mad.
You're normal.
Let that sink in.
And as for PGL, my DD went in May this year, end of year 6 celebrations. Nobody was allowed to take a phone for a 3 day 2 night trip. Phones are banned at PGL/residential trips by the companies themselves. Not the schools' decision. Good. Quite right too.
DD went. And survived 3 days without contact with me at the age of 10 and it was fine. They were all fine without their phones.
Kids are fine without phones.

I had never even thought about tracking my teenage child and was shocked when a friend told me about her tracking of her child at university. Then I found out that loads of people I know track the whole family. I just can't get my head round all of this, but it seems that around people I know I am weird for not tracking all my family members.