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AIBU?

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Original poster

Is this ignorance or just 2025?

139 replies

Andonemorething25 · 16/09/2025 20:18

We live in a posh bit of the SE . He’s been to a top 10 Uni. It’s not an Exeter/ Durham type place though and he’s nerdy not sporty.

He’s been invited to a black tie event. I asked him if he had a DJ and he didn’t know what that was. He thought it just meant wear a black tie.
Turns out he has never worn a dinner jacket or been to a posh do.
As a rural child of the 80’s it was just something that happened at the end of every year.. , Young Farmers, Secondary School, College, Rugby, Uni. Grew up with James Bond etc
Is he just actually a bit odd or is it not a thing anymore?

OP posts:
Branleuse · 16/09/2025 20:42

Who is the 22 year old? Your son? Your boyfriend?
I dont think its unusual to not know about formal dinner wear at 22 if its not been part of his upbringing

LegoPicnic · 16/09/2025 20:41

Although I’m a lot older than 22 and think I’ve only ever been to one black tie event - they really weren’t very common when I was growing up. I only know what a DJ is because that was what all the boys / men were constantly reminded to bring for orchestra concerts!

Needmorelego · 16/09/2025 20:41

LegoPicnic · 16/09/2025 20:39

Dinner jacket

Show quote history

Yeah.... I was a bit slow.
(Hello fellow Lego fan 👋)

LegoPicnic · 16/09/2025 20:39

Needmorelego · 16/09/2025 20:39

I am actually trying to figure out what the "DJ" means in this.
It's not the guy doing the music...but what?
Edit : oh wait...Dinner Jacket 😂

Edited

Dinner jacket

Needmorelego · 16/09/2025 20:39

I am actually trying to figure out what the "DJ" means in this.
It's not the guy doing the music...but what?
Edit : oh wait...Dinner Jacket 😂

WellMaybeYouShouldntBeLivingHeeeeeeee · 16/09/2025 20:38

I’m pretty sure my 18-year-old son wouldn’t know what DJ meant in this context. We live in a ‘nice’ part of a major UK city, although I wouldn’t necessarily call it posh.

Jitterbuggs · 16/09/2025 20:37

He's 22. Chill. Pass him the Debrett's, lol.

queenmeadhbh · 16/09/2025 20:37

Andonemorething25 · 16/09/2025 20:33

He’s 22.
I’m just a bit taken aback. I just assumed he would know what black tie meant. It’s fairly mainstream. How does he not know?

I didn’t know until I went to uni where there were lots of black tie and some white tie events. If he didn’t have any interest in those sorts of events at uni, I can easily see how someone would not know what it meant. I don’t think it’s mainstream, I think it’s pretty niche actually to a certain social demographic.

x2boys · 16/09/2025 20:37

Andonemorething25 · 16/09/2025 20:33

He’s 22.
I’m just a bit taken aback. I just assumed he would know what black tie meant. It’s fairly mainstream. How does he not know?

I wiuld be more surprised if a typical 22 year old did know ( outside of the world of mumsnet of course)

Needmorelego · 16/09/2025 20:35

I'm 50 and don't really know exactly what "black tie" clothes would be.
🤷

Original poster
Andonemorething25 · 16/09/2025 20:33

He’s 22.
I’m just a bit taken aback. I just assumed he would know what black tie meant. It’s fairly mainstream. How does he not know?

OP posts:
x2boys · 16/09/2025 20:26

I know what a black tie event is ,I have never been to one though
I trained as a nurse though so whilst affiliated to a university it certainly Wasent a Russell group( only ever mentioned on mumsnet)
Different people have different experiences.

BeHappySloth · 16/09/2025 20:23

I don't think I went to any black tie events before I was at uni. I don't think it's that unusual tbh.

OneRealOchreHiker · 16/09/2025 20:21

How old is he?

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