Hubby wants to do a 6 week holiday alone

My MIL is a bit like this. Whenever my OH or I spend more than a night apart to do something that the other's not bothered with she'll bang on about how 'Me and Geoff haven't had more than a night apart in 40 years' like that's some sort of measure of a fulfilling relationship. Really it means that he's lead a pretty limited life as my overbearing MIL's insistence that they do everything together has meant he's had friends drift away and he's never been able to get properly into his hobbies.

Of course there is a large middle ground between 'never spend a night apart' and a six week absence, but the OP (and others) still haven't said what's actually wrong with the latter other than 'It's too long'. Why though? Sure it's unusual but why's it too long? 'It just is'. But what's the actual problem? 'Marriage is a partnership'. Right, so marriage in retirement means only doing lowest common denominator activities, shelving your dreams, popping your slippers on in front of the TV, occasionally treating yourself to a trip to the garden centre or if you're lucky a cruise with other sedentary old farts. A life well lived.

There are posters telling OP to move house or kick him out while he is away. They don’t appear to be joking. I will never, ever understand some people’s mindsets 🤯.

I’m shocked at the idea that we own people. Of course he should go if he wants to. It is up to him to decide. Whether it makes him uncomfortable that you feel abandoned is I’m sure something he is bearing. It’s like having dogs on leads women in burkas, using power to control another for your own insecurity. I’ve never understood it. There are responsibilities of being in a couple but surely rights, freedoms and respect too.

How is it batshit?

Why are some people so co-dependent on their partners.

They are individuals with individual interests and free to do what they want.

Relationships aren’t meant to be so restrictive.
Not being able to go 6 weeks without seeing your partner is a very unhealthy relationship.
You should be with someone because you want to be, not because you don’t know how to be alone and need to be so dependent on someone.

OP hadn’t mentioned finances and so I assume that isn’t an issue and as OP is also a grown up, she too is free to do a 6 week trip if she wants to and there’s no need to try and do tit for tat.

If your argument was that he was spending too much money and there was no money left for a family holiday, or no annual leave, or you want to do something else together and you can’t specifically because of this trip, I’d say you were being reasonable. However it doesn’t sound like any of these are factors here. Just six weeks is too long to be apart. Tbh sounds a bit silly. Of course you’ll probably miss him, but it’s not really that long. Plan some fun activities with your friends and family and let him have this epic experience

I think you're being unreasonable, it sounds like it's something important to him and if he doesn't do it now who knows if he'll get another chance. Is there anything nice you could plan to do when he's away to make the time pass more quickly? Anywhere you've always wanted to visit yourself maybe with a friend or family?

I'd be fine with it. The Camino is amazing. Let him live his life. I thought you were going to say he's leaving you with 4 kids under 5 for a 6 week jolly.

Correct. It is also a once in a lifetime challenge for most and the OP is being horribly selfish and extremely short sighted if she tries to prevent him from taking this truly rewarding challenge that so many people say has changed their life for the better.

I think it’s partly because it’s the Camino @T1Dmama. A centuries-old religious pilgrimage that’s physically challenging but perhaps very spiritually rewarding, is very different to a six-week holiday.

This!! I’m amazed at the votes on this and think it’s bat shit… there’s no way many people would be happy about a partner buggaring off for 6 weeks!
I’d tell him fine but only if there’s enough finances for you to also go away for 6 weeks…. Maybe you could go to New Zealand or Australia for a month !!!

I was trying to answer the OP's question- how comfortable you are with separation depends on your relationship and your personal experience. We are not talking about me so I don't really understand why you are asking this question.

So, OP, have you run away now the vast majority have told you how selfish, foolish and unkind you are being?

Let him go - and move if you can. If you cannot, pack his things for him - in black sacks, put them outside and tell him he will have to take them with him.

It sounds harsh, but at his age it is worrying, and unless you do something dramatic to get the thought out of his mind, he will resent you. This way he has a choice.

It is usually a mid forties thing with men. You drew the short straw - or not, depending on what he was like in his 40's.

Do something. Not a thing to be allowed really, but don't mention the 'D' word.

I personally wouldn’t mind if it was something I wouldn’t want to do. For example, if my husband was off to Barbados for 6 weeks without me I’d be furious! If he wanted to go and watch the cricket somewhere for 6 weeks I’d hope he had a good time. But we are used to spending time apart, he works away nearly every week. I guess at the age of 69 I’d think it may be that he thinks this is the last time he will feel fit enough and I’d really not like to take that away from him? My only worry is the fitness and him staying in touch so you’re not constantly worried, is that possible!

He might enjoy himself without her and get some meaning out of his life that doesn't mean he has to be clamped to her side.

What sre you worried would happen to you if were not with your husband for six weeks?

I would not be happy with this- but then again I have been with my DP 45 years but we have never been apart longer than 3 weeks- and that was once early on, when I went on an archaeological dig for my degree. We spent as much time together as we could when we both worked- but since my OH retired and I only do one day a week we spend more time apart- probably nearly as much as when we were both working. It's whatever balance suits you really- but 6 weeks sounds far too long to me.

Some are really mean I agree.

It’s mean of you to stop him doing it. Why do you want to hold him back? You won’t do it with him, so if you don’t let him do it that means he doesn’t get to either. Very controlling of you, sorry.

First thought needy, second thought , picture, spitfire, send him on his way.

He’s 69, he might not feel up to it in a few years, of course he should go!

Up until my kids were of school age, I regularly took them home to my family in Asia while my husband stayed in UK to work and look after the pets etc. often we’d be gone for 6weeks, he never minded and neither did I! When kids were of school age, I tended to fly home annually with them during Easter holidays so usually about 3-4weeks. I don’t see the problem, maybe plan things to do while he’s gone, lead your own life?

So, have you decided not to be so foolish and selfish and encourage him to do his once in a lifetime dream come true?

Or is he going to go anyway while you miserably try and fail to control him?

Or, worst, of all, have you managed to destroy his dream so you can watch him sitting at home, defeated and sad and forever resentful because you can't stand your own company for a few weeks, and won't contemplate even trying to support him?

Yes, maybe the teacher will be more of a reflective practitioner

Why tit for tat @SouthernBelle21 ? I would totally take my own holiday , why not ?