Hubby wants to do a 6 week holiday alone

I wasn’t spiritually changed. Some people are- but most aren’t.

Absolutely I did not come back changed but I had a wonderful time !

Plenty of people just do it as a walking trip without any particular spiritual element.

But I think even if it is just a walking trip, she shouldn't try to stand in his way.

It is the same, I am afraid.

If people wants to get interested into faith, she can’t do anything about it…
Same in any couple…

I think that you are being unfair - you can always take a holiday yourself or go and join him at certain points on the route , I dont really understand what the problem is - 6 weeks isn't really that long a break apart .If you said 6 months I would understand more.

Oh for gods sake, what a way to live your life. If he's going to do something like that, he'll do it regardless.

I think there are people who understand this sort of independent challenge and those who just can't see it.

And those that can't see it could never be married to an Olympic athlete (oooh, lovely shall I come and stay for a few days in Paris and we can enjoy some cafes before your event? Paris is SO romantic) or a mountaineer (can you pop back to basecamp - or maybe Kathmandu for a few days - I MIIIIIIIS you!)

Because it interrupts the event - you would need to get your head out of walk - sleep - walk and enter the real world again. It would break your rhythm, take you out of your zone distract you with thoughts of comforts of home and make it harder to get going again.

It would be OK if the person joining fell into step alongside you, doing the days walks, staying in the Auberges, setting off at dawn etc, but not a few days holiday in a nice little town in a hotel.

Why is it taking the piss? they don't have young children to look after and he really wants to do this hike (presumably while he's still able to at 69 years old)

@Bruisername I know that, I’m just saying it’s an option 🤷🏻‍♀️

@CurlewKatein my first message I was urging her to let him do it! I’m all for it!

Because it would be my thing. I would think about it and plan it. I would choose what I wanted to listen to and read and if I wanted a rest day,or a completely silent day, I’d want to choose it to suit myself rather than having to fit in with someone else. It would be a very hard thing to do and I wouldn’t want to have to think about anyone but myself.

I agree @PlumpAndDeliciousFatcat, it happened because he was on the lookout, not because he did the Camino.

Tbh, she was particularly well rid of him. I’m not Catholic, but I appreciate that there’s a spiritual element to the pilgrimage and it’s particularly gross that some people use it as an opportunity to hook up. He clearly didn’t have a spiritual/contemplative cell in him, ugh.

Same, I’d want something like this as mine, time to myself, I’d think of it and like a spiritual journey and wouldn’t want to come out of my zone until I’d completed the walk.

Why ??

If I wanted to do a trip like this, and my dp said “Oh,I’ll meet you half way for a couple of days” I’d feel I had to say yes, but I would secretly seethe!

My goodness- when I saw the title I assumed you had small children. He’s retired! Let him do what he dreams of doing.

dont hold him back.

I would if it was something I had no interest in and it was important to my DH because I can think outside of myself and be fine on my own and would hope he would be the same.

There are no children to worry about and if it was about finances, OP would have said something.

There is also no indication he would stop her from doing what she wants either.

I’d love six weeks of the house to myself. I’d miss my DH but there are plenty of things I could think of that I would do.

If he wants to do it and you don't, then why would you stop him? None of us know how long we have left, or at 69 how long you have left of good health, so I think you should let him go and perhaps meet him along the way for a couple of rest days!

OP, are you feeling insecure because you fear he is looking for something in walking the Camino that he can’t get from his marriage?

Or that he has a personal goal / challenge that you can’t or won’t take part in or don’t share?

Maybe talk to him about that. And really listen to what he says.

T

Why shouldn’t he do it? Assuming the OP is good health, there are no pressing domestic responsibilities and enough money, what possible reason could there be for him not doing it?

But that’s often because they are working and don’t have the time. Doing it in one go is a massive part of it for a lot of people.

I don’t think OP is coming back but it would be good to understand her reasoning or if people’s comments have changed things

i know one couple who do everything g together and prioritise time together at the expense of friends, family and even work. But they are both happy with that. If one isn’t then it becomes very stifling. As with all relationships, keeping the communication channels open and compromise are the best tools

It very much sounds like that particular man could just as easily have met his third wife by the sliced bread in Tesco.

@Piratecatcher another option is that he does less than 6 weeks, or does half this year and half next. You can start and end the Camino at any point, it’s not all or nothing. Some people do a one week section every year till they’ve finished it!

@FluffyBenji23 oh come on, that is the worst possible reason to not ‘let’ a partner go. If that happens then it’s because he wanted it to so there was clearly already a problem.