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AIBU?

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Hubby wants to do a 6 week holiday alone

683 replies

Piratecatcher · 16/09/2025 19:59

Hi My hubby age 69 wants to go hiking solo for 6 weeks ..doing the Camino.. I am very upset about it as I feel its too long to be apart and also hurt that he is ok with that.. We have a good relationship usually and adult children. I have happily accepted him doing solo two week hikes in the past but 6 weeks feels too long and I am not a long distance hiker so I can’t join him. We are arguing about it.. Am I being selfish? He thinks I am.

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MoltenLasagne · 16/09/2025 20:15

I'm another one who thinks you should be supportive of this unless there's a major dripfeed coming.

londongirl12 · 16/09/2025 20:14

If this is something he really wants to do, then I wouldn’t have an issue. Yes would miss him, but life’s too short to miss out on something that would be a once in a lifetime opportunity. Why don’t you want him to go?

KateMiskin · 16/09/2025 20:13

I would happily " allow" this, if DC were grown and it was safe.

BeHappySloth · 16/09/2025 20:13

Why on earth would you want to stand in the way of your husband doing something that he really wants to do? Sorry, but I think you're being selfish. Unless there is some big drip feed about why he shouldn't go.

CelestialGazer · 16/09/2025 20:13

I’d be absolutely fine with this. In fact my retired DP wants to do the Camino, and I have already said that, whilst I do some long distance walking, it wouldn’t be for me (too long). So they are very welcome to go alone or with a walking friend of theirs. They are happy with that too. I will probably go away and do something I want to do for some of that time when they finally get around to arranging it.

LottaHogs · 16/09/2025 20:13

Yes, YABU.

Watwing · 16/09/2025 20:13

As someone who loves hiking and has a bucket list of hikes (on hold for 20 years whilst raising kids) yabu if your only argument is essentially you'd miss him and feel like he should miss you.

Lollytea655 · 16/09/2025 20:13

6 weeks is nothing on the grand scheme of life together. Yes, you are being selfish- life is too short.

Louoby · 16/09/2025 20:12

Pull up your big girl pants and let him have an adventure. We only live once and who knows what’s around the corner. It’s just 6 weeks.

Silvertulips · 16/09/2025 20:12

You have grown children - you’ve spent your entire lives together - 6 weeks is nothing!!

Let him go - the alternative is he goes anyway, he may as well go while he can and come back happier.

These things are on my list - I want 2 months in Italy.

hkathy · 16/09/2025 20:12

can you go on a short holiday to one of the points on the camino? and meet him along the way?

SkinnyOatFlatWhiteForMePlease · 16/09/2025 20:11

This feels like a big ask. I can fully understand wanting to do something before it’s too late, but marriage is a partnership and six weeks is a long time to be apart.
Is your DH be as supportive of your interests?

Could he do it in stages or could you need time at stops along the way fortnightly throughout?

Harvestmoose · 16/09/2025 20:11

If my marriage was otherwise solid this wouldn’t bother me. Your children are grown up so presumably this is his chance now to do something he’s always wanted to do? I couldnt begrudge my husband this if we had no other burdens eg small children.

LondonGalll · 16/09/2025 20:11

Or you could do your own alternative adventure alone or with a friend

Maray1967 · 16/09/2025 20:10

My mum was fine with my dad going on a round the world yacht race when I was a teen - he was away for 9 months. It was the chance of a lifetime.

6 weeks is nothing- let him go. If you had young kids then it would be different, but why can’t he go at this stage in his life?

tumblingdowntherabbithole · 16/09/2025 20:10

Sounds like an amazing opportunity for him. Why don't you want him to go?

Ddakji · 16/09/2025 20:10

If this is something he really wants to do, are you happy for him to go to his grave knowing that you stopped him? It’s not his fault you don’t or won’t come with him. I daresay he’d like some company but there you go!

Bruisername · 16/09/2025 20:10

Sorry but I think you’re being selfish. It’s a great experience (I’m not a hiker but I knew a few people who’ve done it)

he’s not getting any younger and has the time now You’re holding him back

LondonGalll · 16/09/2025 20:10

I’d be happy for my DH to do this. It’s an amazing opportunity. Maybe you could fly and meet him for a long weekend break after three weeks? He could take some respite too and sight see.

G5000 · 16/09/2025 20:09

why don't you want him to go? Just because you think it's too long? Yes I also think it's selfish if this is important to him. It's just 6 weeks.

Mandylovescandy · 16/09/2025 20:09

I can't wait to do this (well not exactly but something where I can travel by myself) when the DC grow up and I retire. Happy to do adventures with DP as well but I love being on my own and after years of DC and putting others first really want some time to myself. So I wouldn't have a problem with DP doing a solo 6 week holiday (unless it was something I really wanted to do and he didn't want to join then I would probably be a bit disappointed)

BellaEllaWella · 16/09/2025 20:09

If he is retired and not restricted by holiday allowance it’s fine - at 69 you need to take everyone opportunity to do stuff while you can. What would you be doing in the 6 weeks if he was at home?

YumYa · 16/09/2025 20:09

A lot of people do the camino alone.

I wouldn't mind dh wanting to do it. I like long distance walking but don't fancy the camino.

What's worrying you @Piratecatcher ? Is he in good health?

Moomum123 · 16/09/2025 20:08

I understand why you would feel sad - 6 weeks is a long time, however it is a one off special trip, and for those who undertake it- an amazing experience. Are you a confident traveller, could you perhaps travel to meet him at a half way point, and then again at the end to celebrate his accomplishment?

corlan · 16/09/2025 20:08

I think you're being selfish. If you had young kids I could understand your point but you haven't given a good reason why he shouldn't go.