Hubby wants to do a 6 week holiday alone

If it’s selfish on your part then it certainly is on his part too.
Why is it ok/totally reasonable for him to want to go off for six weeks but if you’re not happy about it you are controlling and selfish?
Sauce for the goose.
As an aside when DH wanted to do this we agreed I would travel by car (happy to drive in Spain) each day to where he would be staying and book into the hotel. He wouldn’t stay in the hostels, he’s too fond of his creature comforts for that!
But it came to nothing in the end, probably because he couldn’t be arsed to sort it all out. (i do all the —donkey work— prep for our holidays after we’ve agreed on where and when.)

Hey, I can understand you being disheartened, I would be too. But how about you do something you’re interested in for 6 weeks? Obviously if funds allow.. you could both have this one ‘selfish’ and it may even do wonders for your relationship. You both get an amazing life experience, miss each other and have good fun catching up after. What is something you’ve always dreamt of doing? Just trying to make the best of the situation.. I don’t think it’s right you’re left at home worrying about him for a whole 6 weeks. Maybe plan your own adventure?

At first I kind of baulked at the 6 weeks part but having thought about it & read some other posts I think he should be able to do it, I know some people who have done The Camino both alone & in groups & no one has ever regretted it, it wouldn't be for me personally but I can't say I'd begrudge my OH if we were retired &/or our boys were adults

Try to find something to do for yourself while he's away, I think there's ways of sending care packages etc to the stop offs or maybe I'm thinking of the Appalachian Trail plus agreeing with PP could you fly out for his last leg & turn it into a mini break while he gets his R&R?

As a long distance walker myself, with the Camino on my wishlist, I think you shouldn't stop him from doing this. I've spent approx 6 weeks apart from my dh for another reason (family illness on the other side of the world) and, to be honest, the time goes very quickly. If I were you, I would book to fly out and be there for him at the end. That would shorten the time apart. You can also video call each other. And of course, you get to decide the next big adventure you undertake together.

Same

If you've said you'd meet him half way through for a break, then he continues on, I think that is weird though.

We only live once. If it is something he really wants to do I would be fine with that, in the same way if it was something I wanted to do I would ask he gave me the same respect. I got the opportunity to do a deployment away for five weeks, I didn’t have to go but I wanted to. At the time I had no children and I would have been absolutely livid if he’d said I couldn’t go. Years fly by and there are 52 weeks. This is only 6 of them and could be the trip of a lifetime.

I feel it's completely bizarre you don't want him to do this. Like what is your actual reason? It's six weeks not six months, use the time to catch up with other friends and interests and your adult children or go somewhere solo yourself. Enjoy some you-time. I know every relationship is different but if this is something he really wants to do it seems utterly bizarre and unhealthy to try to prevent him or make him feel bad about it. If a husband was saying this to a woman who wanted to go on the trip of a lifetime alone everyone would say the husband was being controlling and I think the same in this scenario.

I'm saying this as a 55 year old - @Piratecatcher - I'm aware it's relative and a 35 year old could ask the same of me.

Does your DH have any health risks? Is he up to a six weeks' hike on his own?

If it's yes and maybe not, I can see your point.

If not, and if it were me, after slogging it out year after year at work, I'd be really upset at a spouse being awkward about this, if you both have an equal amount of free time.

If my marriage was otherwise well, no health or financial concerns, I'd be okay with it and look to plan something of my own to do.

(I am guessing no 'new female friend' who just happens to be doing the trip too drip feed is coming....)

I wouldn't be impressed with a sudden zeal for the mysterious, as an excuse to basically be inconsiderate and upset someone they're supposed to care about.

May I ask you why this would 'upset' you? I asked a PP if its just a case of them missing their OH - but they my not have seen the post.

I totally understand missing your partner - but to be honest I don't understand the upset.

It's something he really wants to do and can't do with you. I'll be delighted if DH still has the energy to do something like that at nearly 70.

Yabu. If you had young children and would have to solo parent during this time then I'd understand and be saying yanbu but seen as he's 69 I'm assuming you don't so he should go. Enjoy the time OP, go on a relaxing solo holiday yourself, have a spa day (or weekend) really pamper yourself.

Totally selfish.

Let him go, life's too short & he may resent you for it if he backs out. As others have said, 6 weeks isn't that long out of a lifetime.

Give him your blessing and be pleased you have an adventurous partner. And do something really special for yourself too.

Yeah, because that kind of tit for tat attitude is really grown up and mature, isn't it? Well done you.

😶

Sorry, "a lot of needlessly harsh replies" to what imo is a fair question.

Are there things you'd like to do, too? Because while he's away would be the perfect time.

We get one chance of life on this planet, and he clearly wants to see some of it. I don't see anything wrong with what he's doing, honestly. Make a list of things you want to do that he wouldn't be keen on, and start working through them while he's away.

6 weeks really isn't a long time in the grand scheme of life - but at his age, you don't know how much longer he's going to be up for such an expedition, so PLEASE let him do it! He will regret it if he can't.

We all have one precious life

Precisely my perspective - sometimes we are unable to do things/achieve goals because of our life stage/health/financial challenges etc.

So when opportunities present themselves - we should be able to grab them without our significant others blocking them - without valid reason.

Why?

if It is a one off time and is the trip and experience of a lifetime then u have no business saying no to him. It’s 6 weeks out his life! U are being mega unreasonable and needy - (highly unattractive trait imo).
if he was doing this all the time or even every year then fair enough i see your point but it sounds like
this is a special trip so why would you not be encouraging this?? As long as he is not putting you in debt to do it, and he will be in touch as much as possible for kids etc then you have no say at all. It’s his life just as yours is yours. 6 weeks is nothing. Get some good plans made yourself. This can be a great time to look forward to

Tbh, I still think that's a bit self-indulgent.

That's just me personally, and everyone's different, I get that. But I'd be thinking "is it not a spiritual journey if you go for three weeks instead of six? Do you not learn anything about yourself if you do it in two stages and meet your wife in the middle?"

Myself, I'd be glad for a break from my OH for a few weeks! But if he wanted to do something I was really unhappy about, then "because spirituality" wouldn't be a good argument, imo. Maybe different if the husband in question was a priest or a guru or something. But for your average adult going on a holiday they fancy, I wouldn't be impressed with a sudden zeal for the mysterious, as an excuse to basically be inconsiderate and upset someone they're supposed to care about. Obviously I don't know anything about OPs husband; maybe he has devoted him life to finding a higher purpose.

It’s the only way to do the camino.
I think you’re being unreasonable because you’re annoyed you can’t do it.

Let him go and book yourself a nice relaxing long holiday for yourself . Somewhere hot , with a friend or alone . And if he says anything say “ oh l thought we were doing separate holidays now !”

Imagine wanting to do a bucket list thing, and your OH said no? Its his life, this is a (presumably) 1 time thing. You aren't just saying not now, youre saying never.

You're being unreasonable