My DH “ran into” his ex

Nope, I wouldn't care if they bumped into each other as a one off, but I certainly would not be happy that he has her on any social media or her phone number. Why the hell would he feel the need to??

He has friends to share his hobbies. She should now be somebody he use to know.
Also I would now be finding out how I could bump into my ex and having a drink with him, see how the hubby likes that 😤

Let’s see what happens, if it’s purely platonic and he has happily agreed to cut contact with his ex entirely knowing it upsets op this should be the end of this issue…right…?

I would absolutely be checking op, because there are question marks about his honesty. Blindly choosing to believe every word without evidence would be foolish. You are not doubt young and beautiful, he should be looking after.you and his dd.

Not spending his limited energy, time and effort on an ex girlfriend.

Did that smug reply make you feel good? You must have a very small life.

Both I and the OH regularly see exes for lunch, dinner. To us, it’s not a an issue.

Which is not to say it isn’t for you, OP. But it’s not unarguably a concern.

I don’t want to totally blow some posters minds, but I recently went to my exes wedding, with my partner.

My ex was marrying the best friend of another of his exes, I’m friends with that ex and his new wife.

Oh and there was a 3rd ex at the wedding with her partner, who we’re also all friends with.

It is totally possible to be friends with an ex and have very fond feelings for them and for it to be ENTIRELY unromantic and platonic.

I appreciate it’s not common as there is often hurt involved, but isn’t it nice when a relationship can just alter instead of ending?

@Doubledenim305

Fair enough, you obviously don’t have to agree. OP, though has literally said herself that she recognises having LSE, feels threatened because she perceives his ex as being more attractive etc.. this can cause issues in a relationship and are based on personal insecurities.

The first of the messages with his ex when OP looked on husband’s phone started from ‘it was nice to have bumped into you’ etc...

The husband and ex split due to circumstances, and both their lives have moved on. I have a few ex’s that I’d happily want to catch up on if bumped into years later, and they would be no threat to current bf. BF’s anxiety however may not like it though.

There were a few things stated about how the husband responded and dealt with it that made it feel genuine to me.

There are a lot of posters on here who have sadly been badly bitten and who are very reactive and quick to assume the worst. Perhaps I’m just not one of them.

🤷‍♀️

Why wouldn't you? Are you solely with your partner for sex? I tend to actually like and enjoy the company of the people who I enter romantic relationships with.

There's no reason for him to rekindle a relationship with his ex even just as friends. Why? Why would he think you'd want to go socialising with her and I seriously doubt he'd he OK if the shoe was on the other foot

I have, on multiple occasions, run into people I know at airports all over the world. It happens. You sound like you have trust issues - why is that?

Who pissed on your chips? I'll leave you to it...I have no interest in spending time in the company of such relentless negativity.

You know how reality works? Wow!

Wow, what an unnecessary and nasty post. Congratulations on bleating whiny nonsense at a person you've never met who knows how reality works.

Wow what an unnecessary and nasty post. Congratulations on knowing the OPs husband who you've never met better than she does.

Yep, good points.

Anyway, he lied to you and met up with his ex behind your back, and now he's messaging her - well he was already messaging her and now you have actually caught him at it.

See you back here in a year when you confirm he's sleeping with her and are just so surprised because you chose to trust him after he obviously lied to you and were flabbergasted he'd keep lying.

Just ask to have the thread taken down, you don't want to listen to basic common sense, so no point in having it up.

I think his behaviour seems fine, and your initial feelings on it are perfectly normal and expected. Those two things don't have to be mutually exclusive.

I know it seems unlikely to bump into someone in a busy station, but it happens - and from the messages it sounds just like that. This aspect of it wouldn't worry me, as long as he didnt have a history of lying or cheating.

I dont think I'd be comfortable with a continued friendship between them. That's probably my own insecurity. Im not saying there's anything wrong with it, just it would make me uncomfortable.

This comes from what sounds like a similar position - my husbands male:female friends are about 50:50. He doesn't maintain any relationships with exes, but might have a drink in passing if he bumped into one. If he suggested going to the cinema with one I'd think he'd lost the plot.

Totally disagree with this comment.
Her Spidey senses are tingling because her DH meeting up with an ex and seems intent on continuing to do so..
This is not a low self esteem issue.
She's reached out to MN to see if she's off the mark.
Lots of people agree with her being worried. Lots don't. I think it's a bit low to tell her she needs to work on herself. Her husband may be doing something untoward, threating her whole family life. You don't know if he is or isn't. Only time will tell.

Whoops, wrong thread !!

My opinion is that he didn't plan it and hadn't lied, based on the OPs knowledge of her husband and what she's told us about the exchanges this far. Dozens of people have given examples of chance meetings like the one described. The people categorically stating as fact that he has Machievellian plans and is involving his toddler in them and are practically rubbing their hands in anticipation of a big reveal are disturbing frankly.

You can’t say that he hasn’t lied! You haven’t the first clue whether he pre planned it. We know he messaged her as op saw her name flash up on his phone.

Given op likes to be rational I calculated the probability which is 1 in every 219,000 chance and considered ‘close to zero’ in terms of an accidental meeting in London given he doesn’t live there, and rarely goes into town.

So have I and so can I spot patterns. But a pattern is not an inevitable set groove and this man has not gaslit or lied to the OP at any point.

They aren't giving their opinion they are stating facts. He IS lying, it WAS deliberate. They make themselves look unhinged. None of us can possibly know for definite.

Anyway I am glad you are enjoying yourself 🙄

Kindly I have sound self esteem. Why would it interest you anyway - surely you need to comment on the thread no? I have been on here for decades, and after a while you learn to spot the patterns…

I actually laughed reading this.

Kindly, it sounds like you need to work on your own self esteem.