To be absolutely raging at DS17 after shoplifting today?

Yes me too and that’s where I recently got legal advice re: drink driving / admin role.

would you retract a job offer for someone convicted of drink driving? Hopefully HR would step in before you did.

@Bambamhoohoo i currently recruit in FS. Thanks.

Why have you suddenly picked up on a post from yesterday and demanded to know why I’m arguing? Isn’t it you arguing?

my posts are clear, legally accurate and backed up by people who do the vetting for suggested jobs. Maybe question some anecdote you adopted in 2005 and haven’t given much thought since

@Bambamhoohoo

I am not sure why you are arguing. This would no fly in financial services either. There is a huge net all clause “person of good conduct”.

Minimising won’t help the OP’s son.

I think you would have to accept that there are jobs he wouldn't be able to do with a drug dealing/ prison background. He wouldn't even be allowed on a reality tv show. It's not ideal.

Brilliant!! Let's hope it's rolled out throughout the UK

Don't be too hard on yourself. You sound like a good woman and a great mum. He's just being a fool. I did all sorts of stupid things when I was his age. Peer pressure is overwhelming. My brother was caught stealing in his teens, yet he's now the politest, most responsible person you could ever meet. It's just a silly phase. He clearly comes from a good background and has been taught how to behave. That will never leave him. Even kids who go completely off the rails (I'm sure yours won't) and end in prison usually find their way back so long as they've got that love and support. I knew a boy from a good family who ended up as a drug dealer, was on the run for a year, then ended up in prison for two years. He's now married (to his probation officer!) with a child and a good job and is a happy, normal member of society. He's found his way back to the normality in which he was raised, you see. It's the kids who've never had that who really struggle.

In the area where I live there is currently an ongoing Retail Crime project. It's the police working with the retailers and they have been targeting shop lifting. And they are making sure the resulting prosecutions are being publicised in the local press.
This is in Scotland btw.

It’s not daft behaviour, it’s criminal. Sorry. Shops work on extremely small margins and it’s their livelihood. Imagine if someone just decided they were just going to pinch a small percentage of your salary. You wouldn’t be laughing then.

No I most definitely am not. What I am saying is police will take no action or even attend such ‘minor crime’. Lack of funding and man power may be cited

@Cathn0 as PP have said did you speak to him about the implications of a criminal record on his travel and employment plans?

I don't think it is a rite of passage for most teens.

My DS shoplifted when he was slightly older, he was 18.

I was mortified, embarrassed, angry, ashamed. I found out from the staff member who caught him. She told me she had caught him and made it clear to him that he was no longer welcome in the shop, but wasn't taking it any further. She knew him anyway, he was friends with her son for a while, she said DS was a nice lad, but so easily lead, so she didn't want him to get a police record.

I didn't read the riot act to him.

I said I was disappointed, and stressed that he was bloody lucky she didn't involve the police but he was 18 and an adult and if this was how he chose to live his life, then it's his life he is cocking-up, not mine. It's not me that will get refused entry to USA with a criminal record (he wanted to visit family over there).

I do think that for most teenagers it's a rite of passage, but they grow out of it. So don't despair - but do calmly stress the downsides to getting a criminal record, that's can be more effective than getting cross and shouty, as tempting as it may be.

I think you’re handling it pretty well op.
hopefully he’s learnt his lesson.
this week I’d try and be calm but make it very clear how disappointed you are in him.

maybe at the weekend give him his Xbox cable back after a calm chat

Absolutely, chefs like Jamie Oliver are such bloody criminals! His recipes are criminal more like...

I've said further up, there's a few, but @Bambamhoohoo thinks she knows better so you can believe what you like.

Sorry are you having difficulty reading my that post you quoted?

Or don't you think that a punishment meted out by his mother - grounding, confiscating his phone or whatever - is a consequence of his actions? It clearly would be because he would not have been given a punishment if he hadn't been caught stealing.

This is exactly what I'd do to. Push the criminal record thing. Ask him if he wants to limit the choices he makes in life? Because a criminal record may well do that.

My dc stole age 8/9ish 1st time I told him off made him take the chocolate back. He did it again i was fuming , embarrassed, I took them to the police station . The police showed him what the cells look like even closed the doors with my permission, showed him the interview room. Scared him not to do it again . Dc now an adult and always says they remembers that and it's deterred them from stealing since.

I’d rip mine a new arsehole if they did anything like this so I understand how you must feel! However. Teenagers often do ridiculous things. Their brains still aren’t fully developed. He clearly did wrong but the nonsense on here about “gateway crimes” is ridiculous.

I’d also tell your mum she can wind her neck in and either say something helpful or shut up. And preferably move out. I didn’t do anything like this as a teen but my own mother definitely has the rose tinted spectacles about her own parenting which certainly don’t match my experience of being parented by her!

In terms of your son I’d definitely withdraw some sort of privilege from him and he’d be getting the frosty treatment for a while. But whilst it’s easier said than done (as I said I’d be raging) try and develop a sense of perspective. He’s not hurt anyone or been involved in drug dealing or similar. It’s the lower end of criminality and the shop didn’t even contact the police, so don’t know why you’d even consider doing it.

So again, what are the immediate consequences of what the OPs son has done?

The direct and immediate consequence of what OP's son did in this shop lifting incident should be a punishment and a few lessons in basic morality regarding stealing from.OP.

Good update OP!

you do know restaurant kitchens are a cesspit of criminals thought don’t you 😭

No, you’re suggesting OPs sons will do something in the future that may have consequences. That does not make consequences today.

I would go nuclear and punish him severely. But then I don't think stealing is just a daft moment. And his attitude to it is even worse!