Family member asking for favour after they royally f***** me over

Your duty is to you and your children first. I would be worried about giving my address/etc if I had managed to stay safe and away from family for two years.

They can explain that they are estranged on the form and don't have the information.

This charity (supporting people who are estranged) may have more info for you:
www.standalone.org.uk/guides/adultchildren/

Just as well it won;t do that then, isn't it?

See my previous responses!

She can say "Not known due to family estrangement"

DH has done that for about 40 years, every time he has to be revetted and passed so he can access various military and government sites. He gets the 'green pass' (higher clearance) every time

They will do any check they want to on an unknown person and won't even contact them if they are just regular people.

The people that do these checks do them all day, every day. There is nothing they won't have come across before.

If its for a security pass that won't work. It's not what the paperwork is for. The process is what they want completed, not some random email contact

It won’t affect the job - the recruiter will do what they will with the details that the sibling does have which presumably will
include date of birth and last known address.

It just makes their life easier to have the address. But OP is under no obligation to provide it and in her circumstances I would caution against providing it if she feels her sibling may use the address for other purposes at any point. Not worth the stress.

I love the people who can’t imagine that there would be a job that would require this.

I would just ignore it rather than write unknown. You are NC so they should not be reaching out to you and you are perfectly within your rights to not respond.

I misread the title as "Royalty fucked me over" initially.
Anyway I think it's fine to ignore.

Kyboshing someone’s job is quite an extreme thing to do.

I would keep the moral high ground, fill in the form but not make contact.

Revenge is rarely dignified.

DC has recently started a Gov job where background checks were needed on quite a few people so could be genuine - BUT I would agree with others that you owe your sibling nothing, so they will have to complete the form with ‘unknown’ for anything they don’t know.

Depends.. if you want to rebuild the relationship or not.

Youve pursued a relationship all this time to turn your back on it now they need you.. you could and tbh they've been shitty but if you want the relationship being petty isnt the way to get it.

Id be deciding what I wanted going forward and act accordingly. No judgement if thats telling them to fuck off.

To be fair, if the sister has been asked for this info as part of an application for a job, she isn't exactly asking for a favour. She's just asking for info that she has been asked for herself. The alternative would be to say to the screening agency/employer, "yes I have a sister, yes I have her mobile number/email address, but I daren't /don't want to contact her to ask for her address and employer". Would sound a bit lame. At least this way she can say she's tried with OP but had no response,then they will follow up themselves and track down OP no doubt.
But she won't have had any choice and it doesn't mean she's chosen to put OP down as a reference or anything.

I'm not excusing the sister's behaviour but don't really see what else she could have done other than not apply for the job at all!

OP can ignore or just reply that she doesn't feel comfortable sharing those details with sister.

As pps have said, lots of roles require family details to be able to conduct background checks.

It's amazing what 'they' can find out about applicants! After we went abroad teaching the children of Forces families a friend of ours decided to apply. Despite teaching an in-demand subject and having a good first interview he was rejected. He subsequently found out that it was because he had been taken into custody, but never charged, for protesting outside a local cinema against a controversial film!

And M15 want to know where you siblings live and what they do for a living?

Don't you dare! Tell them to gtf

Dont give them a second thought, ignore and block

This!

I would just ignore the request. She can put your info as "unknown" because they're not in contact with you. If that causes them some embarrassment, so be it. <shrugs>

Oh dear, FAFO. 100% ignore.

My husband has numerous high level security clearances for his role.
He has been NC with his father for 17 years - he explains this when his clearances have to be renewed. Your sibling will be able to do the same.
Unless you wish to keep a door open to the possibility of reconciliation with your sibling, you can ignore the request and will not mess up their chances by ignoring the request.

Tell her to royally f* off !

I don't even get why they'd need your details in order to get a background check for their own job?! Sounds bizarre. As in they want you to be a reference? Even though you've never employed them, haven't spoken in years and hate them personally?

It's pretty laughable really. Just ignore it.

Absolutely not.
Ignore it completely.

Perfect response. Get ready to block them if they try to argue.

Silence is also a powerful response.