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Original poster

To think feminism has made dating harder, not easier, for women?

60 replies

BluntTaupeSea · 15/09/2025 21:01

On paper feminism should mean better relationships but AIBU to think it’s actually made dating more confusing, with higher expectations and constant power games?

OP posts:
Original poster
BluntTaupeSea · 15/09/2025 21:12

Tigerthatcameforbrunch · 15/09/2025 21:07

Is there a problem with having a higher bar?

It might be harder to find a good relationship, but surely then the onus is on men to step up and not be so shit?

I just wonder if the process of dating has become trickier in the meantime. Instead of it just being about men stepping up, there also seems to be a lot more tension and overthinking between both sides, which can make the whole thing harder than it should.

OP posts:
GagMeWithASpoon · 15/09/2025 21:11

You only have to have a look through the hundreds of threads on here to see that the bar is still firmly on the floor.

JNicholson · 15/09/2025 21:11

Feminism isn’t a person. It's the name given to a set of fairly diverse and not always cohesive or consistent set of ideas, developed by multiple different thinkers in multiple different countries over quite a long period of time.

If your dating life is bad I think you need to look at yourself and the people you are dating. You have agency as an individual. Feminism doesn’t.

Original poster
BluntTaupeSea · 15/09/2025 21:10

PrincessC0nsuelaBananaHammock · 15/09/2025 21:04

Surely having higher expectations is a good thing? Women are now in a position where they don't have to put up with crap men. If men decide to throw a tantrum instead of becoming better people, that's their problem.

Higher expectations are a good thing, no argument there. I just meant it feels like dating dynamics have become more tangled too. Instead of clarity, there’s often a lot of second-guessing, defensiveness and push-pull about roles. That’s the part I was questioning.

OP posts:
QueenClinomania · 15/09/2025 21:08

I think that's more a problem with the specific men rather than with feminism.

Tigerthatcameforbrunch · 15/09/2025 21:07

Is there a problem with having a higher bar?

It might be harder to find a good relationship, but surely then the onus is on men to step up and not be so shit?

SouthLondonMum22 · 15/09/2025 21:06

High expectations are a good thing.

ForZanyAquaViewer · 15/09/2025 21:05

If by ‘harder’, you mean more women are now less likely to tolerate inequitable relationships and thus their dating pool is smaller/they are more likely to leave poor relationships, then yes.

And that’s a good thing.

OwlBeThere · 15/09/2025 21:05

It just means women won’t tolerate mediocre men.

PrincessC0nsuelaBananaHammock · 15/09/2025 21:04

Surely having higher expectations is a good thing? Women are now in a position where they don't have to put up with crap men. If men decide to throw a tantrum instead of becoming better people, that's their problem.

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