How do I end long running "play date"?

128 replies

llamashoe · 15/09/2025 20:08

So for the past 2 years (possibly more but I've lost count), my DS's (aged 9) best friend has been coming to ours after school every Friday. It started out pretty well but now they're getting older I'm finding they tend to sit on separate devices playing different videogames which I don't really see the point in?! They also sometimes argue and I feel like I have to intervene - although this doesnt happen too often. Yet my son is really set on having this playdate.... (sorry I hate the term playdate but its what my son calls it). My son is never invited to his friend's house, ever.

I work nearly full time and just want a quiet end to the week not to be getting asked for numerous snacks, having to fix technical problems or intervene in arguments. I've clearly got myself into a situation that I am going to struggle to get out of! There is also another wee boy who my son has started to invite on Fridays too now so sometimes I end up with 4 or 5 children in my home (I have a younger child too).

I am reluctant to speak to the mum as her English is not at all fluent and Im worried she'd take it the wrong way. 😔 the boy is a lovely child, I am just done with the playdate situation.

YABU: suck it up you created the situation.
YANBU: figure out a way to end it, or make it less frequent?

Advice welcome.

OP posts:

financialcareerstuff · 15/09/2025 20:34

Sorry but I think you would be unreasonable to stop this. Your son is young and needs friends. He wants this time. And you are a parent- part of that is being inconvenienced for his sake, including helping him maintain friendships. If there are behaviours during the play date you don’t like then coach them to do better. But at nine years old, sorry it sounds pretty reasonable that they disturb you for help sometimes…. That’s having kids….. they are also at that awkward age when they are past soft play places etc but not old enough to go off on their own… and they haven’t learned the art of conversations either. So while you could encourage them to do other things, playing games but ‘just hanging out’ the way they are sounds pretty natural behaviour.

Viviennemary · 15/09/2025 20:34

Yes I think this is the best way. Don't stop them altogether but say you can no longer do every week.

Bitzee · 15/09/2025 20:29

Just cut it back? Tell her when she picks up this Friday that you’re busy next week and the following week so next playdate on the 10th of October. Then after that fix the next one for mid November. Because it does seem a shame to stop them altogether if DS is still keen and this is a good mate but I totally get that you don’t want the annoyance weekly, it’d also be good for DS to have other friends over without this boy always being there and definitely the mother is taking the piss if it’s not once been reciprocated.

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