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Original poster

My old job have sent my new job a reference request, but I haven’t applied there

62 replies

InAWorkQuandry · 15/09/2025 19:37

posting in AIBU for traffic because wtf do I do?!

I left my old job about a month and a half ago. It wasn’t under brilliant circumstances. They were desperate for me to stay, I wanted to leave. My old boss still contacts me regularly to ask if I regret the move and if I’d like to come back.

My new boss came up to me today and said she was sorry to hear I was leaving as she thought I’d settled in well. I was extremely confused because I’ve not applied anywhere else. I love my new job and want to stay there.

it turns out my old job have sent a reference request to my new job. I have reassured my manager that I’m very happy and not planning on leaving, and she’s going to ignore it. But wtf??? What do I do?? My old job have made it clear that “the door is always open”, meaning they basically want me back. I think their aim was that I’d end up leaving this new job and go back to them. But obviously that’s not what I want.

how the hell do I deal with this?!

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Bambamhoohoo · 16/09/2025 12:50

ItWasTheBabycham · 16/09/2025 00:29

Yes I’ve done it in home insurance, on employersEAP, it’s just general legal advice - just a quick phone call. Super simple

Show quote history

The poster said get a legal letter done, not general advice. IMe they don’t do anything like that, but maybe the insurance was crap

Fozzleyplum · 16/09/2025 02:42

It seems that your former employer has requested a reference from your new employer in an attempt to sabotage your new job by representing that you have accepted a job with your former employer.

That is likely to be an actionable tort (malicious falsehood if it was done deliberately, or negligent misstatement if it was some sort of administrative mistake) as well as a data breach.

I would be inclined to write to the former employer, asking them to explain by return why they requested a reference when you had not applied for a role with them. Tell them that you reserve your position relating to a claim in respect of the data breach and misrepresentation.

I would also make a report to the Information Commissioner's Office about the misuse of your data.

Everyonesawher · 16/09/2025 02:28

Allthesnowallthetime · 15/09/2025 19:47

Isn't this a breach of GDPR? They have kept and used your details for no legitimate reason.

I agree with this.

It’s highly confidential information they are requesting that can only be sought with your permission.

Most irregular.

Francestein · 16/09/2025 01:54

Send a message to their HR department and let them know that you have not approached your previous employer or applied for anything advertised. Let them know that you are uncomfortable with the repeated contact from your old boss and would like it to cease. Explain that you have made it very clear to him/her that you are happy in your new position and will not consider returning. Let them know that you were stunned to hear that someone from their company has sent a reference request to your new place of employment and you expect a letter from their HR department apologizing for the mistake and clearing up any potential misunderstandings about your commitment to your new position, or you will be speaking to your union/seeking legal advice.
Copy your current HR department and both bosses in with the email.

Friendlygingercat · 16/09/2025 01:38

You dont need a solicitor to send a Cease and Desist letter. You can google one or use AI for suggestions on how to make it scary. I once sent one to a neighbour instructing her not to contact me again or I would be taking further action.. Never heard from her again.

ItWasTheBabycham · 16/09/2025 00:29

Bambamhoohoo · 15/09/2025 20:40

Has anyone ever tried to get this sort of thing on their legal home insurance? 😂 it doesn’t come easily IME.

Yes I’ve done it in home insurance, on employersEAP, it’s just general legal advice - just a quick phone call. Super simple

Nessiesfoodprovider · 15/09/2025 23:43

Your old employer needs to accept that you've left and stop trying to manipulate things so you have no choice but to return.
I'm glad you have contacted HR in the old company. You want a full explanation, in writing, about why a reference request was sent out by them. I think under GDPR they may well have misused your data. If you are in a union, or have legal on your home insurance, and you don't get anywhere, a solicitor's letter threatening to report them to the info commissioner for misuse of data should get them to back off.

Justyouwaitandseeagain · 15/09/2025 23:05

I would email your manager and top HR person at your old organisation, stating that you do not wish to rejoin the organisationand would like an urgent explanation about how they came to send a reference request to your new employer. I would not include your new employer in on any correspondence, they don't need to be brought directly into the drama. Do keep your new line manager updated on what actions you've taken so they know you are serious and that you are dealing with it.

MinnieMou5e · 15/09/2025 23:04

Be transparent. Email your old boss and cc in your new boss.

WhereDidSummerGoAgain · 15/09/2025 22:58

I think it might actually verge on criminal!

I think you could probably threaten to do them with malicious communications if they do it again.

Noshadelamp · 15/09/2025 22:52

It seems vindictive, aimed to cause you to lose your current job. Or perhaps hoping you'd lose your job and have to go back to the old job.
Either way it's manipulative and unethical.

I would stop engaging with your old boss, block if needed.

WhereDidSummerGoAgain · 15/09/2025 22:47

WTF is wrong with them?

Why on earth do they think getting you sacked from a job you're happy with would be a good start for a (renewed) working relationship?

They're off their heads!

ForgetMeNotRose · 15/09/2025 22:46

Franpie · 15/09/2025 20:58

I don’t think it’s sabotage. Why would previous employer even need a reference? They employed her before and know the quality of her work.

I also can’t see how it’s a breach of GDPR. No personal information was divulged.

I assume they have your new employer’s details as your new employer requested a reference from them? Maybe they accidentally sent a reference request as opposed to a reference return?

I suspect this is what happened

AyeDeadOn · 15/09/2025 22:43

I would email old employer and cc in new employer saying you're happy in your current job ana have no plans to move fr the foreseeable future.

Shakeyshakeyshake · 15/09/2025 22:40

If your new boss is happy then surely they just ignore the request?

Original poster
InAWorkQuandry · 15/09/2025 22:40

Bambamhoohoo · 15/09/2025 21:00

They sent it so her new employer think she’s looking for other work- and has indeed, accepted another job- within weeks of starting with new employer when she has no employment rights.

presumably they hope that new employer ask her to leave and she has no choice but to go back to old employer

Show quote history

I’m suspecting this is what’s happening. They seem to really want me back, despite me being clear I was not happy at the company and didn’t want to continue. It’s so strange?

OP posts:
Original poster
InAWorkQuandry · 15/09/2025 22:38

napody · 15/09/2025 21:07

Oh. Yes, it could have been this. I can see why you assume deliberate with their other behaviour though.

How did your new boss react? Did they believe you?

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Thankfully she does, because the career step I’ve made is pretty unusual - it’s not one you’d expect for someone in my position to have taken. So she fully believes im not going back!

OP posts:
Bambamhoohoo · 15/09/2025 21:18

decreasingbells · 15/09/2025 21:08

Redress is not just to the ICO (I agree they would nit do anything). Failure to uphold GDPR rights is directly actionable pursuant to Article 82 UKGDPR.

So if the old employer continued to process OP’s personal data having been asked not to do so (for example by writing to her or calling her) then theymre are grounds for a legal letter before action.

This might make them take notice. I am sure OP can write this herself as she is clearly familiar with litigation.

Edited
Show quote history

but a legal letter before action doesn’t mean anything- and will be particularly unscary written by OP. If they have half a brain cell they’ll know full well she isn’t about to sink tens of thousands in persuing civil action for gdpr and they’ll ignore it.

decreasingbells · 15/09/2025 21:08

Bambamhoohoo · 15/09/2025 20:58

I’m not sure GDPR is a particularly good route to go down. Your redress for a GDPr breach is reporting to the data commissioner. This obviously isn’t a serious breach and it’s very unlikely they’d do anything important. A solicitor wouldn’t be a realistic way of supporting you in persuing a data breach.

Show quote history

Redress is not just to the ICO (I agree they would nit do anything). Failure to uphold GDPR rights is directly actionable pursuant to Article 82 UKGDPR.

So if the old employer continued to process OP’s personal data having been asked not to do so (for example by writing to her or calling her) then theymre are grounds for a legal letter before action.

This might make them take notice. I am sure OP can write this herself as she is clearly familiar with litigation.

napody · 15/09/2025 21:07

Franpie · 15/09/2025 20:54

I would assume it’s an HR cockup and they meant to send a reference request to your replacement’s employer but something has got muddled up in the file and they sent it to your employer instead.

Oh. Yes, it could have been this. I can see why you assume deliberate with their other behaviour though.

How did your new boss react? Did they believe you?

Franpie · 15/09/2025 21:02

Bambamhoohoo · 15/09/2025 21:00

They sent it so her new employer think she’s looking for other work- and has indeed, accepted another job- within weeks of starting with new employer when she has no employment rights.

presumably they hope that new employer ask her to leave and she has no choice but to go back to old employer

Show quote history

I think that’s a stretch. If they wanted to sabotage her new role they could have just given her a shitty reference or refused to provide a reference at all.

TiredofLDN · 15/09/2025 21:02

WILD.

because they aren’t just trying to tempt you back- they are trying (and it sounds like almost succeeded) at sabotaging your new position.

hopefully an employment lawyer or hr expert will be along soon….. I’d be fucking livid though.

Bambamhoohoo · 15/09/2025 21:00

Franpie · 15/09/2025 20:58

I don’t think it’s sabotage. Why would previous employer even need a reference? They employed her before and know the quality of her work.

I also can’t see how it’s a breach of GDPR. No personal information was divulged.

I assume they have your new employer’s details as your new employer requested a reference from them? Maybe they accidentally sent a reference request as opposed to a reference return?

They sent it so her new employer think she’s looking for other work- and has indeed, accepted another job- within weeks of starting with new employer when she has no employment rights.

presumably they hope that new employer ask her to leave and she has no choice but to go back to old employer

Bambamhoohoo · 15/09/2025 20:58

decreasingbells · 15/09/2025 20:53

I agree with you However you could email their Data Protection Officer if they have one and HR if not to ask them to restrict your data and to refrain from further processing pursuant to Article 19 of UK GDPR. If they continue to contact you (and so process your data) you might send a pre-action letter on that back of that.

Show quote history

I’m not sure GDPR is a particularly good route to go down. Your redress for a GDPr breach is reporting to the data commissioner. This obviously isn’t a serious breach and it’s very unlikely they’d do anything important. A solicitor wouldn’t be a realistic way of supporting you in persuing a data breach.

Franpie · 15/09/2025 20:58

I don’t think it’s sabotage. Why would previous employer even need a reference? They employed her before and know the quality of her work.

I also can’t see how it’s a breach of GDPR. No personal information was divulged.

I assume they have your new employer’s details as your new employer requested a reference from them? Maybe they accidentally sent a reference request as opposed to a reference return?