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AIBU?

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Original poster

Is a 12 year age gap ok?

135 replies

Daisychain1989 · 15/09/2025 17:44

I’m 36 and my potential partner is 48.

We get on really well, he makes me laugh until I cry, he’s a lovely, kind and caring person.
Dresses well, looks after himself, we have the same views and outlooks on life and politics etc.

It’s just the age gap putting me off! I don’t know why.
When I’m 40, he’ll be 52.

OP posts:
UpMyself · 15/09/2025 17:57

It should be OK. If you were under 30 my reply would be different.

BramStoner · 15/09/2025 17:56

You’re both adults so it’s absolutely fine. If you were eg 18 and 30, different story.

DiscoBob · 15/09/2025 17:56

If it's putting you off now then it will get worse. It wouldn't bother me particularly if I really liked someone.

Anchorage56 · 15/09/2025 17:54

If it's fine with you that's all that matters surely

ginasevern · 15/09/2025 17:52

It won't make a difference (if it ever does) for some years, but it can become more pronounced as he ages. If that makes sense! So when you're 60 and still fit, active and game for a laugh, he'll be 72. In my experience men don't tend to age as well as women, both mentally and physically.

Comedycook · 15/09/2025 17:52

My DH is ten years older than me...I don't even think it's a particularly big age gap.

PlanetOtter · 15/09/2025 17:51

It sounds like you’ll have an amazing time together.

But… do you want kids? I know there will be exceptions, but for most men being older will mean less energy for children.

And if you’re together for the long term, are you OK with the greater possibility that he’ll be very elderly/ needing your care / dead, when you’re still enjoying life?

YouCouldFallOutWithYourselfInAnEmptyRoom · 15/09/2025 17:48

Plenty of people have bigger age gaps and it’s no issue.
As a young 52 year old woman I would struggle to find a 64 year old man attractive though, but at 36 I could have found a 48 year old an attractive proposition.

blankcanvas3 · 15/09/2025 17:46

yes you’re fine

OonaStubbs · 15/09/2025 17:45

It falls within the half your age plus 7 rule so it's ok.

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