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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

His daughter's behaviour....

85 replies

Forthelovagod · 15/09/2025 17:28

Partner has one daughter 19, lives with him but now at uni so home some of the time. Just been home for summer.
Was her birthday 10 days ago. Saw lots of lovely gifts lying around one of which was a beautiful m&s bouquet.

Partner works away. Left a week ago. She left for uni yesterday. Called in to house today to do some jobs and when putting rubbush out noticed the bouquet still in cellophane unopened in the bin.

I didnt buy them but im pretty sure whoever did would be pretty devastated to see them chucked in the bin.. I just can't fathom this behaviour and find it hard to be around. Im actually sad i bought her a gift because she clearly doesnt value other people's money and i certainly don't have money to waste.

I wish i could park it but i find it hard to not let it affect how i feel about my partner. How has he raised a human that thinks this is ok.

Aibu or would you feel remotely similar?

Fwiw id absolutely go through my dc if it was them. I'd be gutted.

OP posts:
Forthelovagod · 15/09/2025 17:38

I actually want to like her but she makes it hard
She's spoiled and there's a history of selfish behaviour.
Definitely not from someone she doesnt like.

I dont really like flowers as a gift myself but i wouldn't just throw a gift in the bin but i see im in the minority here so I'll try harder to get over it 🤣🤦‍♀️

OP posts:
Zempy · 15/09/2025 17:38

The smell of lilies makes me feel nauseous. I would have to bin them.

You have no idea why she did this. Could be from someone she dislikes, could be allergic, could just not be interested in flowers.

It sounds like you really haven’t warmed to her…

littlebosleepy · 15/09/2025 17:35

Maybe she wanted to travel light and flowers weren’t a priority for her to take.
I wouldn’t still be thinking about this.

SunshineAndFizz · 15/09/2025 17:35

She’s going back to uni, a bouquet of flowers isn’t a practical present.

I don’t know many 19 year olds would want flowers tbh.

Rosesfornoses · 15/09/2025 17:34

They were presents to her. It is her house. it sounds as if you don't live there. It is her decision what to do with her present.
She probably thought cut flowers were a right faff. I don't know many students who love cut flowers. They were a present for her Dad really. She couldn't take them to Uni.

TeaForTheTillermanSteakForTheSun · 15/09/2025 17:34

It's very clear you don't like her at all.

I'm very appreciative of any gift anyone gives me, however an ex of mine who assaulted me started sending flowers and balloons after his bail conditions were lifted and each and every one got thrown in the bin. You have no idea of the back story, just looking for an excuse to bitch about her and centre yourself.

FunMum2019 · 15/09/2025 17:33

They’re 10 days old and no one will be home? Nice to bin them rather than come home to dead flowers. Could also be an allergy issue, I’ve had to give away a bouquet before because I couldn’t sit in the same room without sneezing

Skybluepinky · 15/09/2025 17:33

Probably from someone she doesn’t like, unless you know the full story don’t judge.

outerspacepotato · 15/09/2025 17:31

So what? Maybe she doesn't like the giver or doesn't want to see any of their gifts. It's a gift to her and she can do whatever with it.

This is none of your business. You sure are judgey about your partner's daughter. It sounds like you don't like her and are looking for reasons to complain about her.

titchy · 15/09/2025 17:30

Maybe they were from a stalker ex?