Curfew for live-in nanny?

B is being unreasonable. B isn't even getting home that late on her nights off. Obviously she should not be crashing around the house, but if she is just coming in, going about a normal evening/bedtime routine quietly, then B sounds to have unreasonable expectations.

Surly if you have a live in nanny, you either need to have an annex you can put them in or accept you will have another adult moving around the house in the evening/early night?

"be home by dinner time"?
That can't be real. Absolutely nuts.

A curfew for a grown adult, enforced in her own time? Good luck with finding a nanny who'll agree to that. But I suppose you could put an ad in Slaves Weekly...

B is being unreasonable. As long as A is coming home at 10/11 rather than after midnight, and isn’t making a lot of noise when she comes back, what she does and where she goes in her free time is none of B's business.

Young adults living in a "family home" would also be free to come and go as they wished, within reason, in 99% of families. They would soon move out if parents tried to place restrictions like "no going out with friends in the evenings".

As long as A is keeping noise toa minimum it's none of B's business when A comes home on the night off.

As long as she comes in quietly, ie not waking people up, the nanny should be able to come and go as she pleases during time off. To expect her to be home at dinner time is treating her like a child and she isn't. If the employer carries on like that she will soon lose the nanny.

When I was a live in nanny I’d never of accepted that. However I’d always try to be quiet if I came in late.

they can’t tell her when she comes home but they can absolutely ask her to be respectful and mindful.

B sounds unhinged. Completely and utterly unhinged.

If I was A I'd be running from this role.

There was much more crazy stuff she said/did but it would take me hours to write out 😁

B is being completely unreasonable. 11pm is not crazy late and as long as As not singing the street down its none of Bs business.

B should seriously rein it in or lose the nanny she's not their gate keeper and I'm guessing she needs the childcare.

Presumably A lives in for the convenience of her employers so it's pretty controlling to tell her what she's allowed to do in her time off.

Are you A or B op?

🤣🤣🤣 home by dinner time. Very controlling. I would be looking for a new job if l was the nanny

A is an adult so no curfew is reasonable when she is not on duty. The important thing is her behaviour and the impact on the children.

11pm is a perfectly reasonable time for anyone to be out until, but I would go further and say she could stay out until 2am or whenever so long as she came in quietly and was ready for work in the morning.

Conversely, if she came home pissed at 5pm that would be totally unacceptable irrespective of the time of day.

Also, this.

B is entirely unreasonable to try to dictate what A does during her free time and to impose a curfew. That could also create a scenario where A cannot have proper down time away from the kids and her job. A also isn't doing anything the other adults in the house may do from time to time. At the same time A should be coming in as quietly as possible.

We've got one that demanded we be home and in bed by half 8/9 (I'm often at work until 10,but she declared i had to sleep elsewhere if that happened) and we couldn't leave the house until 8am as us getting into our car woke her up (she doesn't work and doesn't go to bed until 5/5:30am,we often leave at half 6 and are as quiet as church mouses)

We where not to park outside our house,use our garden for any reason and hanging our washing out resulted in her screaming at us on our doorstep (she claims her boyfriend is her brother and my granny pants turned him on)

We couldn't stop laughing at her,she took offence and she's not spoken to us since!

B is reasonable-the poor nanny deserves a life too outside of working hours

How often is A waking people up?

B is being very, very unreasonable. They do not own A and A is entitled to have a life outside of work. A is also presumably an adult and allowed out after dark 🙄.

Sounds like B would be better off with a live out nanny and we can look forward to the thread about the unreasonable expectations that come with that situation.

The employer is TOTALLY out of order.

As long as the nanny arrives home quietly and gets up on time for duty, there isn’t an issue.

Unless A is being particularly noisy then I don’t A is being unreasonable. Also, B should have made it clear before employing A if she didn’t want A coming back late.

It sounds like these parents would be better suited to a "live out" nanny arrangement.
10 /11 is fine. She isn't a slave.

I thought you were going to say that she was coming in at 3am and was non functional the next day. 10pm is fine!

A is responsible for returning quietly, not causing any disturbance and being fit for work during employed hours. I suspect A will also get a job elsewhere before long.

B sounds a very difficult employer. It B wants to dictate A’s behaviour outside of working hours then they need to pay A and effectively employ them during the necessary hours.

B is totally unreasonable - no one can expect a young adult to want to sit quietly in her room every night from 6pm. As long as A isn't coming home plastered or being exceptionally loud then 10-11pm is a perfectly reasonable time to be home.