Curfew for live-in nanny?

If an employer dictates where an employee spends their free time, that is not free time, that is work.
If the nanny comes in making all reasonable attempts to be quiet and despite this someone is woken up, that is the price the employer pays for saving on salary by providing accommodation to another adult in their home.

B is completely unreasonable. If A is waking people up by being noisy when she comes home, that's what needs to be addressed.

And 11pm isn't late, it's only just after last orders.

Why do the family need a evening Nanny? Maybe A is 'disturbed ' by B coming home late!!!!!

B is being ridiculous.
11pm is not late.

The nanny, presumably an adult, can stay out all night if she wants as long as she is back and ready to start her shift in good time the next morning.
Obviously it would be good manners to tell her employers she would be away all night and of course she should be fully ready to start work at whatever time she is needed to in the morning (as does anyone in paid employment.)
Any other expectations are unreasonable unless they have been agreed by both parties as part of an employment contract.

A sounds completely reasonable.

10/11pm is ok, especially when living in someone else’s home. You need a little space.

I would only take issue if A was being disruptive returning at that hour (turning all the lights on, cooking, bringing someone with her etc.)

When I was an au pair, I would move my toothbrush and face wash to the toilet by the front door if I was going out in the evening. Slip in quietly, get ready for bed right by the door, and the slip upstairs without turning any lights on. It seemed to work for the family and me. Again, I was returning 10/11pm. That time also worked well for the family as the eldest’s bedtime was 9pm and it was better I return by 8 or after 10 to keep out that way of that.

Assuming she is a teenager, coming home at 10-11pm is acceptable, she shouldn't be a prisoner.

B can pay live out salary and her house remains quite.

I’m a light sleeper and paranoid about break ins so this wouldn’t work for me if I was ‘A’ as I need everyone home before I can sleep (or to know they are out all night) BUT I know that’s a ‘me’ problem and objectively very unreasonable.
If I was B I wouldn’t want my employer dictating my non working hours.
Sounds like they need a different arrangement!

By dinner time! I thought it might be midnight, which I also consider unreasonable because she is allowed to live her life, but dinner time!!

I have to leave the thread now before I get angry at the thought of this.

Good lord, poor A. B is a controlling, uptight fruitloop.

I agree with Thechaseison71.
It is her free time until she has to be available to look after the children as fresh as a daisy, unless it is stipulated that she has to look after them during the night.
I would advise her to look for another job.

Neither is being unreasonable, but they are incompatible for living together. A needs to live elsewhere, and B can pay her to sleep over on any nights where she is required into the evening.

this sounds like the nanny diaries on netflix

great easy watch if anyone is wanting something this eve

That's quite right. Whenever I want my children cared for I go outside and find some random stranger on the street to look after them. Hiring a nanny is just like that.

Ridiculous. No grown up is asleep by 11pm anyway. Once you have kids you learn to survive on much less sleep, nanny or not!

B sounds a bit mental. I once rented a room and my landlady didn’t like me coming back after she went to bed (which varied, naturally) as she was an incredibly light sleeper. She didn’t set a curfew but heavily implied I was taking liberties by being out excessively late/ not a party house. Readers I was home at 11pm ish on a Friday night. No B shouldn’t try to dictate this. If A is distributing children coming in this needs resolving. Is this because A is excessively noisy? Or do children need white noise/ better sleeping? Or is a lie in nanny just not practical for this family?

The parents presumably trust the nanny with their children so it would be a bit disturbing if they didn’t trust her with their house.

Apart from which the nanny is likely some in the house with the children most of the day so what difference does time of day make?

If I was the nanny I’d already be looking for alternative employment, imposing a curfew (of any kind) is so unreasonable from the employer that it would astonish me of it wasn’t only the tip of the iceberg as regards to unreasonable demands and behaviour.

This.

As long as she comes home quietly, I don't think the employers should dictate what the nanny does in her spare time.

Also define 'tea time' to some tea time is 5-6pm others tea time is later 7-8pm. Bit either way the employers cannot stipulate she be home in her free time.

I would wish B luck in going through a process like that in an attempt to enforce A's managing her free time in line with her employer's entirely unreasonable dictates. A would probably have a successful unfair dismissal claim.

A grown adult should be able to arrive home by 10 or 11.

B should not set any curfew for A.
Given A's role, she should know that if she either

• comes home by the children's bed time
• comes home after the children's bed time in a manner that will not wake them

This is the person that B trusts with her children while she is at work - if she doesn't trust her to come home after a night out she should not employ her

B should move to a mansion with a separate entrance for the downstairs servants, so that the hoy paloy don't disturb their beauty sleep.