To think most “nice guys” only act nice because they want sex?

I don't believe any truly nice guy would ever call himself a nice guy. Same for people who call themselves kind or generous. Never found it to be the case. People who are nice, kind or generous are called that by people who know them, not by themselves because they just think that behaviour is just normal.

I'd take any guy calling himself as a nice guy as a red flag. He is trying to manipulate your perception of him without letting you find out who he really is.

Most nice guys I've come across are definitely nice guys. I actually think they are too nice. The only time I've noticed men describing themselves as nice is on dating apps and when they mention the whole nice guys finish last thing in their profiles. A lot of the time i think they are disgruntled that they lose out to the attractive bad boy types but I can understand that. Online dating must be a bit harder for men who are genuinely nice but perhaps a bit plain.

How do you figure that? The reason men want sex is because the ones who were less keen on it died out hundreds of thousands of years ago. That clearly wasn't a winning reproductive strategy. We know this, because men want sex!

“ Nice Guys” is a term used to define a sub group of men that expect something of women because they say they are nice guys correct? But in fact aren’t? I don’t think I ever came across the term used as such and I now understood it (from someone else’s post who spells it out for me)

Yes I stay single too and just use them for what I need at a specific time, but don’t let emotions get the better of me.
To be honest all the men I’ve had relationships with have been more mushy and emotional than me, but sex is at the forefront and seems to rule all their decisions. I love sex but I don’t want my life dictated by it, or to be manipulated by a man because he wants it.

Not ever encountered the ‘anger’. Seems a bit niche.

Male anger is a problem across the board however.

“Nice Guys” not nice guys.

I have experienced similar and also been told that being equally “nice” and friendly in response to a man’s niceness was “leading them on”.

It would be the same as it is now

we have known for a very long time that self-described ‘nice guys’ are no such thing at all.

This is why I am single with no desire to change that!

😂

So isn't better to have a nice man than a bad man?

'Nice' isn't the same as 'good', so a nice person can still be a bad person.

I’d say they’re just … nice?! Do we really think half of the population of the world are just conniving schemers? I feel sorry for men sometimes!

Yet they never get this angry at men who go for terrible women.

Strange.

It’s better to have a man you are interested in, compatible with and attracted to in addition to them being “nice”.

But in defining specifically what she means in her posts it’s the opposite of generalising.

A man at my hobby group recently asked me to go on a date. I declined and he complained bitterly how it wasn’t fair because he was a nice guy and i wasn’t giving him a chance. Since then his behaviour towards me has become increasingly concerning and he’s been told he’s not welcome. This isn’t the first time I’ve had problems with men who describe themselves as nice guys.

And that was you perspective. But I would argue that in online forums we don’t (well at least I don’t) put all of my ideas and thoughts in one post. I am not three dimensional online - most people aren’t. And I think we need to consider that when responding to people. I didn’t assume from your posts that you are unaware that some men are good and some are bad. I spoke as a mother of boys and my worry in that specific moment. To assume I’m not aware of women’s struggle is not in anyway pushing the conversation forward or protecting women, it’s basically trying to shame me because I’m not feminist enough in your eyes. I don’t tend to assume what are other people are about based on a handful of posts. My post was not meant to be protecting women, it was my thoughts only at the time - I feel entitled to worry for my children. Are your posts protecting women? - if you think so can you elaborate why you think so? Because from my perspective they are only about belittling what I said by accusing me of telling women things and assuming that I think women (which I am one of them) are stupid. All of those are assumptions and things that you interpreted not that I said. Again, you don’t know me and have no idea what I have done (or not done) for women. So kindly consider that when responding.

How low would the birth rate be if men weren't hard wired to want sex?

I found your post from the off to be focused on telling women like me that not all men are bad, we are not stupid we know this. Some men are bad. We don’t need be informed some men are good men. That doesn’t protect women. At all.

I agree with you. Men have evolved to sow their seed at most available opportunities. But I've previously been vilified on Mumsnet for voicing this fact. Apparently I'm either an outrageous cynic or I need to raise my bar when it comes to men. I'm 68 now and have known men from a wide variety of backgrounds and demographics over the years, I've lived and worked in the UK and overseas and this is what I've found.

I couldn’t disagree more with this post and your idea of me based on a few of my words if if I tried! It is reductive of you to place my whole personality based on a few posts.
how do you know if I’m concerned about women or not? You don’t know me, my profession, what I have been through at the hands of men. Men are violent? Really - do you think I’m not aware? I sadly as many women have suffered greatly at the hands of men.
The problem I find with this forum is the lack of nuance. I didn’t specifically state that I’m concerned for women therefore I mustn’t be? That is problematic and not how I learned to deal with different opinions. If you want to know something ask - don’t assume. Specially in an online forum where so much is lost and open to interpretation.
also, nowhere did I say women were lucky if they found someone decent - of course it should be the norm.
an I worried for my sons - of course - I worry about the “sins of their father” as they say. But I don’t shy away from honest conversation with my eldest (youngest is two young). Am I worried for my daughter - incredibly so in a different manner - teaching her to protect herself and hating having to do so but very aware of the world out there.

You voiced disappointment (alarmed) that women are coming onto a forum to make negative statements about men, because ‘not all men’ are like this. You are concerned at what women are saying and the tone, because you stated concern about your own children and what this means for their future and how they might be seen as men in society. You described this as a ‘narrative’ and wanted us all to know ‘there are nice guys’

You do not seem concerned for the women saying these things or the future women who could be on the receiving end

Men are violent and abusive towards women on an unbelievable, unfathomable scale, every single day.

We aren’t lucky if we meet a guy who doesn’t harm us. It should be normal

It’s internalised misogyny that women who have spoken up and explained what this means have been so heavily scrutinised on this thread. I’ve had my posts picked over by some internet weirdo who clearly doesn’t believe what I’ve written but doesn’t have the guts to come out with it (so just alluding to it passive aggressively instead)

Are women in denial about it? Male brains has been wired, by evolution, to give them an incredibly strong drive to operate this way. It's one of the reasons why we've been very successful as a species. I assumed most people understood that.