I'm 100% sure that my friend is not on MN, but have changed details just in case.
She is 49, and for the past three years she has lived alone after her divorce.
Her marriage was far from easy: her husband was just an unpleasant, critical person. He often belittled her appearance (constant "fat jokes"), her cooking, her spending—almost every aspect of her daily life, even in public and amongst friends. He would belittle her in front of everyone and we have all witnessed it. While their kid was at home, she endured it, but once they moved out, the constant criticism became unbearable (this is what she told us when she decided to divorce him).
We've met this weekend ("we" being a group of friends who have known each other for a long time, we meet 5-6 times a year). We've all had a few drinks and then suddenly she seemed to have this meltdown... Basically, she blames us for her divorce. She kept crying about how she now has to carry all responsibilities alone, how lonely she's been. She says that her husband was not a cruel man, that at least he was faithful and that it's our fault that she's all alone now. Said that we should have advised caution, why no one suggested that imperfection is part of every marriage, suggested that we wanted to see her suffer because we were jealous (of what?). That we weren't her real friends, because real friends would not have wished her unhappy and lonely.
I was completely shocked, I didn't expect it. Before divorce, she was active on some boards on FB and saw a therapist (her husband refused counselling so she went on her own). She kept telling us how clear it's become to her, that she was in a toxic relationship, that his behaviour was a form of abuse. We all agreed that she should not accept such treatment. Her therapist never encouraged her to leave him, but the message was consistent: she was being denied the acceptance everyone deserves. I still have her messages from that period, this is what she shared with us at the time. Her expectation was that she would be happier and freer if she left.
After the separation, she seemed really happy. I guess that changed and none of us noticed.
On Saturday, she went home after her outburst, left our WhatsApp group and seems to have blocked us. She obviously blames us for her decisions, but AIBU to think that she's the only one responsible for how her life has turned out? The decision to divorce was ultimately hers, she chose to leave, she signed the papers, she acted. We just stood by her, held her hand and yes, maybe we have encouraged her, but it's surely not our fault that things haven't turned out as she imagined?
Edited some details