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AIBU?

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Original poster

Does anyone else ever feel like they’re drowning.

33 replies

Lifeneedsaresetagain · 15/09/2025 12:54

I feel like I'm drowning and don't know how to reset. I've been the main/only earner for 10 years and husband faffs around pretending to be self employed then complains when he gets work. 3 years ago we left London sold our house there and moved to the Cotswolds we've been doing a house up non stop for 3 years. All the financial pressure is on me in those 3 years I've put on 30lbs I'm continuously chained to my desk, I run my own consulting business and feel like I need a compete reset as in to stand all clients down, and spend q4 prioritising myself. Get the weight off, enjoy long dog walks, ditch the alchol and have a reset and come back to the business in January.

OP posts:
jeremyclarksonsthirdnipple · 15/09/2025 14:10

Pack a bag and take yourself off somewhere lovely for some breathing space at the weekend. Take the space and re focus and relax. I wouldn't cut my clients though.

Original poster
Lifeneedsaresetagain · 15/09/2025 14:09

outingouting · 15/09/2025 12:58

What’s DH saying when you say this? Feels like you need a sustained change where work is more balanced rather than a break then returning to the current set up.

I need a reset. I enjoy what I do, and with the build of the house when you own your own businesses it’s too easy to keep taking more work on. He doesn’t really say much. Ideally he could take some pressure off financially by getting a job, or making his self employed business get more work.

OP posts:
stayathomer · 15/09/2025 13:45

I know it’s not but it sounds easy: 1) talk to your husband 2) do what you say you need to x

DaffodilValley · 15/09/2025 13:43

Yes, Stevie Smith’s most famous poem has always resonated with me:

”I was much too far out all my life
And not waving but drowning.”

For a lot of us there just isn’t any solution, and whatever you do to ask for help nothing ever changes. I suppose that’s life.

If you can, maybe ask DH to take on a part time job to ease things financially? I realise that’s easier said than done.

BigHouseLittleHouse · 15/09/2025 13:36

You can stop the alcohol anyway and start a healthy eating plan -making small changes might hugely increase your energy levels

TreeDudette · 15/09/2025 13:32

Would you still have a business in January if you did that? It sounds like the husband needs to pony up or ship out... He doesn't sound at all helpful!

PermanentTemporary · 15/09/2025 13:02

What was the plan with all these huge changes? Have you got a joint vision of the future and how to get there?

You sound very successful. Could you employ someone to take some of the work?

outingouting · 15/09/2025 12:58

What’s DH saying when you say this? Feels like you need a sustained change where work is more balanced rather than a break then returning to the current set up.