Does anyone else ever feel like they’re drowning.

I am absolutely livid on your behalf. You have to take his mum shopping on top of everything else because he and she argue? Do you have children? If not I would be absolutely off like a shot.

Who’s the “we” here.
If HE isn’t working then surely caring for his parents is his problem not yours!

He needs to get a proper job.

Then for me its 100% what you should do
Just be committed to using the time to reset.
Join the gym, especially one that might have a sauna, steam room etc to distress in
Eat in a calorie deficit - losing weight mostly happens here

Read the books you have been meaning to - both for fun and for learning

Restart an old hobby/learn a new one...something where you will see a result, maybe crochet a cardigan - fashionable and attainable

Therapy, if you feel need it

Priorise what you need from the three months. Only take them off if you are going to put YOU at the centre.

Don't spend three months doomscrolling, sleeping and stopping around.

You deserve the time. You are your priority and you are important enough for this investment

Do you need to keep the house? Do you need to keep the husband? 😉 If you ditch both of them I'm sure you'll find yourself not only floating, but sailing.
(He's letting you drown. Unless he's caring for children or talking some other weight off from you, or has his own source of income, there's no excuse for "doing creative work for charity" and letting you carry everything)

Are there reasons he feels this is justifiable? Because most people feel a job has to pay unless they are extremely wealthy or running a household for others.

“We’re”? Or is it all you?

This is a good compromise too op. In reality, very little happens in December except Christmas parties.

Take a couple of weeks for that op.It might help. We all tend to go for holidays that involve closing up the house, packing suitcases, creating laundry, adding cost etc.

Just rest at home for two weeks.

That way you are not investing too much in stepping away.

What worries me op is the risk of taking the break and then everything being the same when you return. Even if the weight comes off, it's easy for it to creep back on etc.

I've known people to do this type of thing and all too often it helps while they are off, then they are back to the same spot.

If it's easy to dial up or down, could you redraw your day putting the things you want to achieve for yourself (walks, healthy food etc) first and then the work comes after that?

I would wind down at end of Sept or whenever you can finish the work you have on now.
Don't take on any new work

Take 3 months off and come back in Jan if this is indeed a viable.option for your business and you won't lose clients.

If DH is being faffy about his own WFH stuff (I have one of these - they expect your time to manage) - perhaps encourage a Christmas contract somewhere

1. For the money
2. To get him out of your way

Caring responsibilities are going to add to your pressures so if you can genuinely afford, monetarily and relationship (family and client) to take 3 months off before you burn out it is 100% worth it.

Yes, elder care is often the enormous bunch of hay bales that breaks the camel’s back. Do join us on the Elderly Parents board.

If DH is currently not working in any consistent sense, then there really shouldn’t be much of that that falls to you - at least not in the first week!

If you can take a break financially, do. I wonder if there is a National Insurance benefit to seeing your GP and getting an actual fit note? It’s always a good idea to get a medical review when you’re this stressed - blood pressure check, medication review.

That might sound facetious but truly, DH is faffing about on whatever he fancies, not earning, while you are keeping it all financially afloat and still helping out with his dad?? Surely he can at least cover his dad's care if he's not tied to a paid work schedule.

He’s letting you drown, OP, while he sits on the shore.

Can I ask old are you? Sorry if I missed that. Regardless of any possible hormonal or life stage things it really sounds like you have a lot on your plate. Will the reset work if you are just coming back to the same situation with your DH. Are you able to think about what happens beyond the reset to make more sustainable changes?

Well, it's great you have that option, and if you can take it and actually commit to it, then I would.

Many people who are also 'drowning' – single parents, full-time employees with small kids, those with caring responsibilities etc, don't have anything like that option.

So yes – good advice is to take whatever workable options are available to you.

Ditch the DH as well as the weight?

What's your husband actually doing with his days while you're doing all the work and he's "pretending to be self employed"?

He should either commit himself to this job fully, or call it quits and go and get another job that's a bit less dependent on his own "get up and go".