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Original poster

Husband touched a kid to reprimand them on school trip

792 replies

ToddlerIs2 · 15/09/2025 11:25

Husband went on school ltrip with yr 6 dc as our DC"s 121 so only responsible for him. Yr 4 girl in front was being annoying all journey. Husband asked her to stop several times. He dozed off and she banged the seats again (so banding onto her knee) and he lent over and tapped her on the head and told her to stop. Off the coach the teacher spoke to him and he said sorry, didn't think etc. now head wants to see him. What's the likely consequences? We have a lot going on and I'm not holding it all together very well so at home so don't know how irrational I am. He's never smacked out kids so I know it won't have been a smack to the head etc and it was only when she got off she told the teacher. I'm absolutely fuming because how did he forget to never touch someone else's child? And obviously there's an angry parent there that there's a grown man who's touched their daughter so school will probably have to make an example of him. Any ideas what's likely to happen?

OP posts:
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CaptainMyCaptain · 15/09/2025 11:57

BeLilacSloth · 15/09/2025 11:40

Hopefully School would have called the Police, absolutely discusting of him to touch another child while supervising.

A bit of an over reaction to someone just trying to attract her attention. I doubt he battered her round the head.

Figcherry · 15/09/2025 11:57

ToddlerIs2 · 15/09/2025 11:56

Alas I'm already worried about him losing his job if he's prosecuted for assault. I'm not sure him getting into work at 10 and finishing at 2 will help

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Why is he getting in at 10?

StillTryingtoBuy · 15/09/2025 11:57

FourIsNewSix · 15/09/2025 11:55

I suppose the school will ban him from coming for some time. Will you be able to go the next time?

I don't understand why he should react at all to a girl being "annoying".

I'd expect a 121 carer to interfere only if the other child was in danger/doing something dangerous, but if her being "annoying" didn't warrant a teacher's reaction, I don't see why would he do anything.

I absolutely agree, he behaved like a child himself and if not banned shouldn’t volunteer again anyway if he’s going to be so irritated.

Coffeetime25 · 15/09/2025 11:57

busses these days have CCTV on them I would be requesting the footage Incase it a case of he said she said

CalmHiker · 15/09/2025 11:57

ToddlerIs2 · 15/09/2025 11:46

DS is year 6, I always go with him but had an injury and school wouldn't allow me but DH went with reception last ye and yr 4 the year before that bad never had an issue. He's so bloody stupid. Like rule one. Don't touch someone's kid. He knows I'm angry. He's sorry
Fuck.

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Like rule one. Don't touch someone's kid.

is that a rule specifically written in your school?
I've volunteered and worked in several schools, never once heard of this 😂

OBVIOUSLY no adult is encouraged or allowed to beat a child, or even be in the school toilets ever if there's one child in them, but "touching"?
Come on.

Original poster
ToddlerIs2 · 15/09/2025 11:56

This reply has been deleted

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Alas I'm already worried about him losing his job if he's prosecuted for assault. I'm not sure him getting into work at 10 and finishing at 2 will help

OP posts:
FourIsNewSix · 15/09/2025 11:55

I suppose the school will ban him from coming for some time. Will you be able to go the next time?

I don't understand why he should react at all to a girl being "annoying".

I'd expect a 121 carer to interfere only if the other child was in danger/doing something dangerous, but if her being "annoying" didn't warrant a teacher's reaction, I don't see why would he do anything.

frozenshoulderhell · 15/09/2025 11:55

ToddlerIs2 · 15/09/2025 11:48

Would you push for the police to prosecute him for child abuse / assault or whatever the charge is?

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So the DH was a bit of a twat and shouldn't have tapped the child on the head but bloody hell there's some serious over reactions here ...I very much doubt the police would be interested as Im pretty sure tapping a child on the head isn't considered a crime...if it had been any harder than a light tap to get a child's attention then I'm sure the other staff on the bus would have heard the child cry out ....

LoveWine123 · 15/09/2025 11:55

ToddlerIs2 · 15/09/2025 11:53

I don't know, I've had a short phone convo as he's at work and I've needed up playing middleman with the secretary to arrange appt. She said child was upset and he said he was sorry, he hadn't given it much thought when he'd done it. The trip continued and wasn't mentioned until it's come back to school today, presumably when they've handed over incidents / parents have called in. Assuming police would contact us not school first

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You keep mentioning police, prosecution and child abuse as well as your husband touching a child. What the hell did he do?? Unless this post is a fake situation and you are having some fun (?!) dramatising on purpose.

Original poster
ToddlerIs2 · 15/09/2025 11:55

So somewhere between a reprimand from the Head and police taking him away, charging him with assault and him losing his job and all our family. Great.
Idiot!

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Ponoka7 · 15/09/2025 11:54

OverlyFragrant · 15/09/2025 11:30

I'd be grateful if my child was told off by another adult, especially if the teachers are unable to instill good behaviour.
I'm not too sure what the head teacher will do, apart from request he doesn't do it again.
But also, why was he snoozing!
I'd suggest naughty child's parent comes along to all school trips in the future to correct their child's behaviour if no one else is allowed to.

Edited

We don't really know if the other child was naughty, or just excited to be on a school trip and that meant she was disturbing the DH's sleep. Year 4 children are still excitable and get a bit loud, which is fine because the supervising adults shouldn't be asleep.
What will happen will depend on your DC's need for 121 and how the school is set up. If you can go, then he should be barred from going again. They should be reporting it to their safeguarding lead, you never hit near a head and a man can even poke quite hard.
A school helper put her finger in my grandchild's face last week and I'm glad I haven't ran into her when we are both alone. So you might have trouble coming from the family.

StillTryingtoBuy · 15/09/2025 11:54

ToddlerIs2 · 15/09/2025 11:51

Yeah, he's tall so his knees haven't got any room, she was bumping the seat backwards then looking through the gap for a reaction so intentionally annoying but not dangerous per SE assuming she still had her her seatbelt on. Teacher definitely would have told her to sit still if he'd spoken to them, and probably would have made her move if she kept it up cos they're obviously meant to be sitting bums on chair. So could have been resolved by him tattling

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Yeah that is so far in the realm of normal child behaviour - children can be annoying as we all know! Honestly I would have thought your DH could grin and bear it, having volunteered at lots of school trips they are full of moments like this and I think he over-reacted. I would have rolled my eyes as a teacher if he’d reported it to me too, to be honest. It’s very minor really.

Original poster
ToddlerIs2 · 15/09/2025 11:54

BeLilacSloth · 15/09/2025 11:40

Hopefully School would have called the Police, absolutely discusting of him to touch another child while supervising.

I'd have thought that would be up to the parents. Would you be pushing for a formal charge of assault or just a telling off?

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Fridaysgirl17 · 15/09/2025 11:54

arcticpandas · 15/09/2025 11:39

If my son came home and told me that a dad gently tapped him on his head to make him stop kicking around in the bus I would be dead angry...with my son.

Absolutely this,the world is gone hard-hit, he tapped a kid to ask them to stop messing about hardly worth all this fuss. If my child told me this id immediately ask what they were doing that an adult had to speak to them, no way would I be thinking of getting the parent in strife with the school or anything else.

CalmHiker · 15/09/2025 11:53

ItsAWonderfulLifeforMe · 15/09/2025 11:49

Sorry but I think getting the police involved would be utterly bonkers

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the sad thing is the amount of time wasted by schools for dealing with the couple of bonker parents like that.

No wonder their little darlings are a nightmare!

Gagamama2 · 15/09/2025 11:53

If they are on a coach I would imagine he tapped her on the head to get her attention as it was the part of her he could reach. Honestly people getting their knickers in a twist over this are ridiculous, maybe she shouldn’t have been being annoying after repeatedly being asked to stop. Running to the teacher and wailing about it also smacks of the kind of child she is 😂.

The school may have to have a word with your partner but unless they had gone through a briefing about what he should have done in this type of situation then how was he meant to know this would be blown up out of proportion? Even if it does get escalated or the girl does report to police then I’m sure, beyond a cursory explanation from your partner, they won’t look into it furthur as it’s such a non event. Maybe the coach has cctv on it that can verify what your husband is saying if it does come down to her word vs his

JadziaD · 15/09/2025 11:53

I honestly don't understand all this drama. He tapped a kid who was behaving badly on the head. I can easily imagine reaching over the seat to get the child's attention and to tell them not to keep hitting the seat. I mean, probably not ideal in a world where people get very worked up, but I'm struggling to see this as a big deal myself.

is the childclaiming he hit her or something?

Original poster
ToddlerIs2 · 15/09/2025 11:53

StillTryingtoBuy · 15/09/2025 11:38

I’m so sorry, I would be furious with your DH really. What did the teacher say to him when he got off the coach? Did the teacher see what happened too?

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I don't know, I've had a short phone convo as he's at work and I've needed up playing middleman with the secretary to arrange appt. She said child was upset and he said he was sorry, he hadn't given it much thought when he'd done it. The trip continued and wasn't mentioned until it's come back to school today, presumably when they've handed over incidents / parents have called in. Assuming police would contact us not school first

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godmum56 · 15/09/2025 11:52

hang on.....so he was only there responsible for his own child and not a helper for the whole bunch? In that case then should he be reprimanding any of the other children? I mean I understand why he would want to in the circs but not his responsibility?

Figcherry · 15/09/2025 11:52

GlastoNinja · 15/09/2025 11:46

For real? Who’d work with kids nowadays? A child is behaving like a twat and ignoring verbal requests of an adult sitting behind them so he taps their head to get their attention and tell them to behave, then it’s him who gets in bother.

What a world we live in.

I agree.
But look at some of the responses on here.
Not surprising that schools struggle when parents think it's a police matter if a dc is tapped on the head.

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 15/09/2025 11:52

' Cos it's 4 hours by coach,'

4 hours each way, at Primary School ?
Good grief where on earth were they going, and how long for.

CalmHiker · 15/09/2025 11:51

BeLilacSloth · 15/09/2025 11:40

Hopefully School would have called the Police, absolutely discusting of him to touch another child while supervising.

if the child has one of THOSE parents, he won't supervise again and the poor head will have to cajole and make a big fuss of the little daring's parents , but they are used to it.

If the child has normal parents - the head will tell your husband off/

Providing he didn't violently smack her, what's the problem with tapping a child? I've volunteered plenty, there's no rule that you can't TOUCH a child! Don't be violent and inappropriate, OBVIOUSLY, but touching them to attract their attention is such a non-issue.

If I'm banned from school trips whilst my youngest is year 1 I will never forgive him.
I'd ban you more for over-reacting and being completely ridiculous than anything else.

StillTryingtoBuy · 15/09/2025 11:51

I don’t think anyone on the thread has said the police should be called, but some people have said the parents may involve the police.

Sulpmel · 15/09/2025 11:51

I can’t picture how he “tapped her on the head”, a full hand pat? A single finger tap? What kind of tap? He was sat behind and she wobbled the chair she was sat on? So not kicking the back of his chair or anything.

Caramarie · 15/09/2025 11:51

He was an idiot but it's hardly a police matter is it? Surely the head will just give him a bit of a telling off and ask you to help on trips in future instead of him.