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Original poster

Husband touched a kid to reprimand them on school trip

792 replies

ToddlerIs2 · 15/09/2025 11:25

Husband went on school ltrip with yr 6 dc as our DC"s 121 so only responsible for him. Yr 4 girl in front was being annoying all journey. Husband asked her to stop several times. He dozed off and she banged the seats again (so banding onto her knee) and he lent over and tapped her on the head and told her to stop. Off the coach the teacher spoke to him and he said sorry, didn't think etc. now head wants to see him. What's the likely consequences? We have a lot going on and I'm not holding it all together very well so at home so don't know how irrational I am. He's never smacked out kids so I know it won't have been a smack to the head etc and it was only when she got off she told the teacher. I'm absolutely fuming because how did he forget to never touch someone else's child? And obviously there's an angry parent there that there's a grown man who's touched their daughter so school will probably have to make an example of him. Any ideas what's likely to happen?

OP posts:
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CalmHiker · 15/09/2025 12:03

StillTryingtoBuy · 15/09/2025 12:01

Feral? What was the child doing that was feral?

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the reactions of posters who are calling for the police and the strongest punishment for getting a child's attention, you can picture how they raise their kids 😂

StillTryingtoBuy · 15/09/2025 12:03

WeDontTalkAbouther · 15/09/2025 12:02

Why are there no other witnesses ? Parent helpers are still meant to be supervised so surely there would have been an actual teacher nearby

Yes and probably other parent helpers too. Quite possibly they have heard from other witnesses who didn’t think what happened was okay either.

gamerchick · 15/09/2025 12:02

there's some serious over reactions here

Yeah and a lot of them from the OP. Some serious grips need to he had herem

CalmHiker · 15/09/2025 12:02

AllTheChaos · 15/09/2025 11:48

Yep. I am completely opposed to corporal punishment, but tapping a child to get their attention when they are misbehaving seems eminently reasonable.

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I am glad some posters have some sense on here, sometimes I feel like I am on another planet with the level of over-reaction!

JadziaD · 15/09/2025 12:02

GlastoNinja · 15/09/2025 11:58

Precisely.

Those parents complaining about the behaviour of kids have only got themselves to blame. Silly buggers.

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Absolutely.

Reminds me of the time some teenage girls gave me and a friend a whole lot of lip because they'd been bullying and being very unpleasant to our much younger DCs who were on the climbing frame and we'd told them to stop. One girl told me she'd report me to her mother and she'd go to the police. That she didn't feel "safe" around me etc. I told her to go ahead. All I'd done was tell her and her friends to leave the two 9 year old boys trying to play on the monkey bars alone. But I could see that she really expected me to apologise to her.

BONKERS.

And I seem as someone who considers herself broadly a not-very-strict parent who is 100% pro giving children automony and respect.

Original poster
ToddlerIs2 · 15/09/2025 12:02

StillTryingtoBuy · 15/09/2025 12:00

No, but a lot of posters are painting this as a badly behaved child who needed constant reprimanding and telling off. When it sounds more like a giddy child on a school trip messing about in a very minor way. The fact that he was spoken to when getting off the bus suggests that the teacher didn’t think what your DH did was great either.

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Well it obviously wasn't. I absolutely would expect him to be told off, to be told what to do in future and possibly to have been swapped coaches so the girl didn't see him on the ride home.

OP posts:
WeDontTalkAbouther · 15/09/2025 12:02

Why are there no other witnesses ? Parent helpers are still meant to be supervised so surely there would have been an actual teacher nearby

StillTryingtoBuy · 15/09/2025 12:01

CalmHiker · 15/09/2025 11:59

and this is why some children are a bloody nightmare, lazy parenting.

Yes, you intervene when a child is annoying, why do you think it's fair on other children! As an adult, you keep the peace, you don't let the feral one ruining the trip for everyone else, literally your job.

If you don't want other children to retaliate because they have had enough, you stop it immediately.

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Feral? What was the child doing that was feral?

Original poster
ToddlerIs2 · 15/09/2025 12:01

Figcherry · 15/09/2025 11:57

Why is he getting in at 10?

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It's an hour to work. If I made him do drop off at 850 he'd be in work for 10, and leave at 2 for 3pm pick up. Unfortunately I'm going to have to face school alone and hope I don't lose friends. I think there's posters on here who would definitely not association with me again if they knew who I was.

OP posts:
StillTryingtoBuy · 15/09/2025 12:00

ToddlerIs2 · 15/09/2025 11:57

I haven't said anywhere she deserves it. He was spoken to when he got off the bus so I think he considered it dealt with.

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No, but a lot of posters are painting this as a badly behaved child who needed constant reprimanding and telling off. When it sounds more like a giddy child on a school trip messing about in a very minor way. The fact that he was spoken to when getting off the bus suggests that the teacher didn’t think what your DH did was great either.

Ponoka7 · 15/09/2025 12:00

GlastoNinja · 15/09/2025 11:46

For real? Who’d work with kids nowadays? A child is behaving like a twat and ignoring verbal requests of an adult sitting behind them so he taps their head to get their attention and tell them to behave, then it’s him who gets in bother.

What a world we live in.

Or was she finding it funny that he was falling asleep and was trying to wake him up, thinking it was a game?
Unless everyone thinks that it's ok for their partners to tap them on the head, then it isn't ok to do it to a child.
I can imagine the responses if an OP said she was doing something her FIL didn't like, so was taped on the head by him.

PullingOutHair123 · 15/09/2025 12:00

Figcherry · 15/09/2025 11:52

I agree.
But look at some of the responses on here.
Not surprising that schools struggle when parents think it's a police matter if a dc is tapped on the head.

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Quite.

Corporal punishment is obviously wrong, but the level of hysteria on here is ridiculous. Police? Really?

Original poster
ToddlerIs2 · 15/09/2025 12:00

Overthebow · 15/09/2025 11:37

But this is a school trip and he was there as 1-1 supervisor for DS. Your DH isn’t a child, he can keep himself awake and it’s not really appropriate for him to fall asleep.

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I'm not saying it is, I'm simply stating a fact. We were up 90imites earlier than usual, it was a long ride, he dosed off unintentionally. And tbh I'm not sure it matters. He shouldn't have touched her regardless. He wouldn't be in trouble for dozing off.

OP posts:
OctopusFriend · 15/09/2025 11:59

whatcanthematterbe81 · 15/09/2025 11:58

Year 6. On a bus. It’s fine

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Well, instructions for school trips and supervision have changed since my last training then.

CalmHiker · 15/09/2025 11:59

FourIsNewSix · 15/09/2025 11:55

I suppose the school will ban him from coming for some time. Will you be able to go the next time?

I don't understand why he should react at all to a girl being "annoying".

I'd expect a 121 carer to interfere only if the other child was in danger/doing something dangerous, but if her being "annoying" didn't warrant a teacher's reaction, I don't see why would he do anything.

and this is why some children are a bloody nightmare, lazy parenting.

Yes, you intervene when a child is annoying, why do you think it's fair on other children! As an adult, you keep the peace, you don't let the feral one ruining the trip for everyone else, literally your job.

If you don't want other children to retaliate because they have had enough, you stop it immediately.

Goatinthegarden · 15/09/2025 11:59

ToddlerIs2 · 15/09/2025 11:54

I'd have thought that would be up to the parents. Would you be pushing for a formal charge of assault or just a telling off?

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I can’t imagine the police or social work would get too concerned about this, it wasn’t assault, he tapped a child on the head to get her attention.

As an aside, I’m a primary teacher and if your child requires a 1-2-1 adult on a trip, it’s actually the schools place to provide that 1-2-1. It is not inclusive to make a parent take time off so that their child is able to partake in the same activities as everyone else.

CaptainMyCaptain · 15/09/2025 11:59

GlastoNinja · 15/09/2025 11:46

For real? Who’d work with kids nowadays? A child is behaving like a twat and ignoring verbal requests of an adult sitting behind them so he taps their head to get their attention and tell them to behave, then it’s him who gets in bother.

What a world we live in.

It's completely mad.

gamerchick · 15/09/2025 11:59

arcticpandas · 15/09/2025 11:39

If my son came home and told me that a dad gently tapped him on his head to make him stop kicking around in the bus I would be dead angry...with my son.

Indeed.

OctopusFriend · 15/09/2025 11:59

ToddlerIs2 · 15/09/2025 11:56

Alas I'm already worried about him losing his job if he's prosecuted for assault. I'm not sure him getting into work at 10 and finishing at 2 will help

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I doubt he'll get prosecuted for assault. That is, if it was just "a tap" and there are witnesses and coach cctv.
He'll just never be allowed to supervise again.

GlastoNinja · 15/09/2025 11:58

Figcherry · 15/09/2025 11:52

I agree.
But look at some of the responses on here.
Not surprising that schools struggle when parents think it's a police matter if a dc is tapped on the head.

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Precisely.

Those parents complaining about the behaviour of kids have only got themselves to blame. Silly buggers.

whatcanthematterbe81 · 15/09/2025 11:58

OctopusFriend · 15/09/2025 11:57

Really? That's not supervision.

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Year 6. On a bus. It’s fine

CaptainMyCaptain · 15/09/2025 11:58

tinyspiny · 15/09/2025 11:45

I think it’s likely that he may be banned from future trips and I’d be pretty cross if one of my kids came home from a trip and said ‘Xs dad hit me on the head ‘

He didn't hit her he tapped her. I see this as using one finger to attract her attention.

Caramarie · 15/09/2025 11:58

ToddlerIs2 · 15/09/2025 11:56

Alas I'm already worried about him losing his job if he's prosecuted for assault. I'm not sure him getting into work at 10 and finishing at 2 will help

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I really don't think he'll be prosecuted for assault or that the police will be interested even if they did report it to them for some reason.

Original poster
ToddlerIs2 · 15/09/2025 11:57

StillTryingtoBuy · 15/09/2025 11:35

The child may have been a bit shocked, expecting them to react in the way you think they should to such a surprising thing isn’t really a helpful way to think about it.

He may not have hit hard enough to injure or anything like that but “a tap” to a child who is annoying him is completely inappropriate and he should have been expecting a call from the school.

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I haven't said anywhere she deserves it. He was spoken to when he got off the bus so I think he considered it dealt with.

OP posts:
OctopusFriend · 15/09/2025 11:57

whatcanthematterbe81 · 15/09/2025 11:36

He’s not there for the other kids, just his own. I feel like it’s fine to nod off in that case

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Really? That's not supervision.