Husband touched a kid to reprimand them on school trip

Okay, so what punishment would be the right one then do you think? Genuinely curious.

My mother doesn’t drive so coaches and buses have been my primary mode of transportation all my life and this has never happened because…. my mother ensured I know how to behave in a coach.

I think you're being a bit hyperbolic talking about calling the police and throwing around terms like "discusting". It was ill-judged, possibly as he had been sleeping, but hardly disgusting behaviour.

And for posters saying a parental supervisor shouldn't be sleeping, I remember several school trips where the teachers dozed off on the coach. Maybe not ideal, but I wouldn't get too het up about it.

Teacher 101, never touch the children. Let them run wild, throw stuff at each etc but never touch them.

What do i do when a child is upset and needs a hug?

I do not hug them. I talk to them and listen to them and calm them down.

We are firmly not allowed to hug children in my school. I would be fired if I did.

No child has ever asked me for a hug, now I think of it. They have cried and talked to me, and that is fine for them and me.

It’s a moving coach full of kids. How many adults would you expect to be stalking up and down killing any annoying behaviour instantly?

He is a grown man and a parent.

He was a complete idiot to try to fall asleep on the bus when he was there to keep an eye on the kids and to touch one of the kids that way when there were much better ways to try to deal with their behaviour.

Now he has added a lot of stress to your life.

Frankly OP I would take a step back and let him deal with the consequences and learn from it.

Personally I would not want to be stuck with a man child who can' t behave responsibly.

Apparently she was banging her seat into the person sitting behind and then peering around to see the reaction. Sounds like a little brat! Sorry I forgot children are all little princes and princesses these days and can do whatever they like with no consequences or we might hurt the poor little angels feelings.

If he was only supporting his own son then who was supervising the girl in front of him her behaviour was clearly annoying. She was deliberately turning around to wind. Whoever was behind her. Was there another adult in the vicinity? There should’ve been I’ve been on many school trips and that would be cracked down on kids do that all the time it’s nasty. They want a reaction and then play innocent so where was the other people you’re supposed to be supervising that particular girl and I wonder if he was told what to do if he saw a child being particularly annoying I think the school has gotten themselves in a tangle here taking on volunteers without giving them adequate instructions.

I never said he should be criminally prosecuted.

In my opinion, he will be banned from future school trips. Thats what will probably happen

Why on earth do you think that social services would get called in for your children?
Honestly OP you’re over reacting to a ridiculous extent imagining your DH getting arrested, prosecuted, losing his job, you losing your friends and being ostracised at school and by the community.

A man who is irritated by your behaviour also, he’s not pointing out something nice to look at out the window. It’s a not a nice thing to do, to a young child in particular.

When the OP's husband is prosecuted for child abuse, I will indeed admit I am naïve.

Would you like to be touched on the head by a man sitting behind you on a bus

Because it isn't the behaviour that he wants on his school trips, perhaps isn't in line witg school values/policies, and they will want to be able to document that he has had the opportunity to give his side of the story, been told clearly what is/isn't acceptable on future trips, or to clarify that he won't be able to attend future trips. Especially if parents have made a complaint, the head will need to document proportionate action has been taken to satisfy governors/Ofsted etc if parents chose to escalate.

Surely you can see there is a world of wiggle room between "completely acceptable behaviour" and "assault /abuse that meets threshold for criminal prosecution"?!

4 hours on a coach is quite a lot for children to sit in one place, I would cramp up, so I’d expect the children to get bored and fidgety.
Also if he was there just for your child not as a class helper then he shouldn’t have intervened with the other children tbh.
Not sure how I’d feel about someone tapping my child in the head, I don’t think I’d like it but I wouldn’t make a big deal out of it. It’s not like he slapped the child.

I see teachers touch kids on the school run every day. 'Come on Larry, lets go into class, don't run for the gate [usher child in]'. 'Mary, time for school, lets sit on the carpet [peel child off mother]'.

So you wouldn't high five a child if they wanted one? Give a hug to a crying child who misses their mum? Gently guide them in the right direction if they are running off?

I feel sorry for any kids you have to interact with. You must be so cold and unwelcoming.

Id say he will be banned from future trips. He is not a staff member so she can-t fire him

I dont imagine the parents will escalate to police

Thank you so much for this insightful, common sense response.
All will be OK OP, I can totally understand your husband's reaction in the moment

We could all live in bubbles never to be touched by anyone . I give up. I was a teacher for 30 years I'm so glad I'm not now the reactions on here are insane.

Mumsnet is really not going to help here OP, it's just freaking you out more. Nothing is going to happen other than maybe a couple of weeks of tense school runs. Most people wouldn't give this tap on the head a second thought, most people can clearly envisage the type of tap over a bus seat, most people know the type of irritation bumping chairs into knees and peeping through the gap could cause. Obviously none of it is ideal but that's life.

This story all does seem to be a storm in a teacup, though. And I too have worked in a school and you do not touch the children ever - except PE, I think, if showing how to do something. I would say teaching a musical instrument too - though that is not done in state schools anymore (along with Latin and all the other stuff that separates the elite from the rest of us!).