Page 15 | Husband touched a kid to reprimand them on school trip

ToddlerIs2 · 2025-09-15T10:25:26+00:00

Husband went on school ltrip with yr 6 dc as our DC"s 121 so only responsible for him. Yr 4 girl in front was being annoying all journey. Husband asked her to stop several times. He dozed off and she banged the seats again (so banding onto her knee) and he lent over and tapped her on the head and told her to stop. Off the coach the teacher spoke to him and he said sorry, didn't think etc. now head wants to see him. What's the likely consequences? We have a lot going on and I'm not holding it all together very well so at home so don't know how irrational I am. He's never smacked out kids so I know it won't have been a smack to the head etc and it was only when she got off she told the teacher. I'm absolutely fuming because how did he forget to never touch someone else's child? And obviously there's an angry parent there that there's a grown man who's touched their daughter so school will probably have to make an example of him. Any ideas what's likely to happen?

Original poster

ToddlerIs2 · 15/09/2025 14:12

Blogswife · 15/09/2025 14:07

What a load of drama ! After the parents complaint the Head will have made some investigations about what happened and wants to hear your DH side. If DH is telling the truth and it was only a mild tap then no doubt the Head will remind him not to touch or discipline another child and leave him at that . Even if police are called they won’t prosecute him for “a tap” !

He said the teacher on Friday said the child said a tap on the head too. I guess it's whether her parents consider it him getting her attention or him reprimanding her by tapping her, as I appreciate there's a huge difference

OP posts:

StillTryingtoBuy · 15/09/2025 14:11

Shewasafaireh · 15/09/2025 14:09

No punishment because surely telling her to stop is would have been enough?

Everyone is turning this into a way bigger deal than it needed to be.

Show quote history

I was replying to someone else suggesting the child needed to be punished. I agree with you.

FrippEnos · 15/09/2025 14:10

Catpiece · 15/09/2025 13:55

That’s right because kids are being brought up to be snowflakes with no resilience. God knows how they’re going to cope going forwards. It was a tap on the head, not a whack with a mallet. Jeez. Get a grip

Show quote history

I agree, but this is the situation that many teachers find themselves in.

littlemousebigcheese · 15/09/2025 14:10

Nothing will happen. The head will ask what happened, they’ll say probably best not to do that and kindly suggest you go on trips in future. Job done

Doseofreality · 15/09/2025 14:10

So he was trying to sleep, got irritated by a child in front of him pushing her chair back, and reacted by reaching over the chair and “tapping” her on the head?

Would he have done the same if it was an adult sitting in front of him, pushing their child back?

The Head will have to do an external safeguarding report to the LA. Your Husband will be barred from the school premises. Expect concerns from school as to his behaviour at home.

Whatafustercluck · 15/09/2025 14:10

StillTryingtoBuy · 15/09/2025 14:03

No, I’ve inferred it from the title of the thread.

Also from the fact that he apologised when the teacher raised it; why would you even apologise for just getting someone’s attention?

But mainly - it says so in the title of the thread.

Show quote history

You'd apologise because of the blanket no touching rule I suppose - in a sense, it doesn't really matter why he did it, because he did do it.

And again, the op has replied to clarify that the tap itself was not a reprimand, but a way of getting the child's attention before reprimanding them.

'Husband touched a kid to get their attention in order to verbally reprimand them' isn't exactly a snappy title is it, though it would be more accurate. I can see why jurors arrive at different conclusions! Language is important.

Original poster

ToddlerIs2 · 15/09/2025 14:09

Booneymil · 15/09/2025 14:03

No child has ever high fived me in a school. If a child has ever come to me for a hug (it very rarely happens) i have been taught to back away and not touch them

Edited

Show quote history

I'm genuinely glad my kids aren't at your school. That is so hugely damaging. There's perfectly safe ways to have physical contact with a child which isn't only holding their leg on if it's going to fall off

OP posts:

Booneymil · 15/09/2025 14:09

Blogswife · 15/09/2025 14:07

What a load of drama ! After the parents complaint the Head will have made some investigations about what happened and wants to hear your DH side. If DH is telling the truth and it was only a mild tap then no doubt the Head will remind him not to touch or discipline another child and leave him at that . Even if police are called they won’t prosecute him for “a tap” !

Its really fucking annoying me the people writing "what a load of drama".

They have no idea of child safety guidelines, or the pressure that people who work with children are under.

Ive seen three people in my school get fired for less than what this man did.

If the op's husband was a teacher, he would have been fired and banned from the teaching profession for life

AutumnLover1989 · 15/09/2025 14:09

IneedtheeohIneedtheeeveryhourIneedthee · 15/09/2025 13:20

Provided it was just a tap and not a wallop on the head, I'd be shaking your husband's hand for actually giving the little shit short sharp shock.
She had been asked to stop several times. Why did she think she was above adult instructions?

I agree. Just hope the parents can see that. I have a feeling they won't though 😬

Shewasafaireh · 15/09/2025 14:09

StillTryingtoBuy · 15/09/2025 12:58

Okay, so what punishment would be the right one then do you think? Genuinely curious.

Show quote history

No punishment because surely telling her to stop is would have been enough?

Everyone is turning this into a way bigger deal than it needed to be.

Blogswife · 15/09/2025 14:07

What a load of drama ! After the parents complaint the Head will have made some investigations about what happened and wants to hear your DH side. If DH is telling the truth and it was only a mild tap then no doubt the Head will remind him not to touch or discipline another child and leave him at that . Even if police are called they won’t prosecute him for “a tap” !

CaptainMyCaptain · 15/09/2025 14:06

StillTryingtoBuy · 15/09/2025 14:03

No, I’ve inferred it from the title of the thread.

Also from the fact that he apologised when the teacher raised it; why would you even apologise for just getting someone’s attention?

But mainly - it says so in the title of the thread.

Show quote history

I read the title as 'touched [in order to] reprimand' not that the touch was the reprimand.

Chocolatecoveredshitpig · 15/09/2025 14:06

I have very little to add, other than this meme, which seems appropriate.

Husband touched a kid to reprimand them on school trip

DrPrunesqualer · 15/09/2025 14:05

ToddlerIs2 · 15/09/2025 14:03

No she was looking at him AFTER bouncing on the chair in front of him to see his reaction. She warranted being told off and I'd have told the teacher or told her off loudly enough for ax teacher to hear.

Show quote history

That would have been a better reaction. Although I’d have asked for her to be moved away at the first possible opportunity to stop the coach

StillTryingtoBuy · 15/09/2025 14:03

Whatafustercluck · 15/09/2025 13:57

No, you've assumed that meaning is inferred by he lent over and tapped her on the head and told her to stop but it doesn't actually say it was a reprimand, and could just have easily been inferred as a tap to get attention before telling her to stop - which the op has since clarified was in fact the case.

Show quote history

No, I’ve inferred it from the title of the thread.

Also from the fact that he apologised when the teacher raised it; why would you even apologise for just getting someone’s attention?

But mainly - it says so in the title of the thread.

CaptainMyCaptain · 15/09/2025 14:03

Booneymil · 15/09/2025 13:57

I used to work in a primary school. If they came for a hug, we were taught to back away. Under no circumstances were we allowed to touch them

What is the safeguarding policy in your school.

Show quote history

I have retired so no longer work there. It would have been incredibly sad to have to back away from a child seeking affection from a trusted teacher. I don't think I could have stood working in that atmosphere, I would have been failing the children in my care.

Original poster

ToddlerIs2 · 15/09/2025 14:03

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 15/09/2025 13:57

A child was looking at him? Oh my goodness, how did he cope?

Show quote history

No she was looking at him AFTER bouncing on the chair in front of him to see his reaction. She warranted being told off and I'd have told the teacher or told her off loudly enough for ax teacher to hear.

OP posts:

Booneymil · 15/09/2025 14:03

MistressIggi · 15/09/2025 13:58

And yet, children high five staff, are sometimes hugged when upset, are restrained when a fight is being broken up - it has to be case by case, and there are procedures to be followed.

Show quote history

No child has ever high fived me in a school. If a child has ever come to me for a hug (it very rarely happens) i have been taught to back away and not touch them

OctopusFriend · 15/09/2025 14:03

MistressIggi · 15/09/2025 13:58

And yet, children high five staff, are sometimes hugged when upset, are restrained when a fight is being broken up - it has to be case by case, and there are procedures to be followed.

Show quote history

Not allowed to high five either staff or students where I work.
Hands Off - is the policy all round.

Original poster

ToddlerIs2 · 15/09/2025 14:00

Shmee1988 · 15/09/2025 13:42

When you say he 'tapped' her are we talking an actual tap, with his finger? Like an 'excuse me' tap or a really light slap to the head? These two things are very different and if the former, how can anyone be getting worked up about it? Has he shown you what he did?

A one finger of excuse me, stop being annoying (not an actual quote) not a tap of that'll stop you misbehaving, thwack

OP posts:

DrPrunesqualer · 15/09/2025 14:00

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 15/09/2025 13:57

A child was looking at him? Oh my goodness, how did he cope?

Show quote history

Read OPs posts.
She wasn’t just looking at him. She was being disruptive deliberately and looking back for a reaction.
She sounds like she’s the sort of kid that needs an adult their to stop her being deliberately disruptive
If I was the head I’d insist on that in future trips

Birdy1982 · 15/09/2025 14:00

The coach will have CCTV which whilst it probably won’t show what led up to it, should show your husbands actions.
Duty of care - they need to investigate & report to other authorities if warranted

MistressIggi · 15/09/2025 13:58

Booneymil · 15/09/2025 13:54

Its scary how little people know the rules are for working with children. Its frightening.

In my school

Tap/pat a child - fired straightaway
Hug a child- fired straightaway

It was the same in the last school i was in

And yet, children high five staff, are sometimes hugged when upset, are restrained when a fight is being broken up - it has to be case by case, and there are procedures to be followed.

Catpiece · 15/09/2025 13:58

IdaGlossop · 15/09/2025 13:54

Adding my voice to those saying this is being blown out of proportion. What happens next will depend on the attitude of the parents of the Y4. OP's DH shouldn't have tapped the Y4 on the head but he did. Now he needs to apologise in front of the head without going overboard.

Up before the head like he’s in year 6. Poor bloke. Hope he says his piece

UndoneProgress · 15/09/2025 13:58

You are catastrophising I think. I doubt your husband is going to lose his job over this.

As a parent I would find it odd to hear that a random man had tapped my kid on the head. But I wouldn’t take it any further unless there was more to it.