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AIBU?

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Original poster

Sending child to nursery with hand, foot and mouth when you are on maternity leave with baby

70 replies

Cuppateaandbiccie · 15/09/2025 08:51

Just that really, AIBU to send my toddler to nursery whilst on maternity leave with my 5 month old? The nursery policy is there is no exclusion for HFM but they should be kept off if they are not eating/drinking, have a temperature or are not well enough in themselves to play/engage. If they are fine in themselves am I ok to send them, even though they don’t ‘need’ to go in that I’m not going to work?
YABU - don’t send them
YANBU - ok to send them
Thank you!

OP posts:
Bababear987 · 15/09/2025 09:58

I sent mine in- nursery and PHA said its fine so I dont see the problem. You cant keep kids of for minor viruses when they are otherwise well, theyd never be in nursery

Original poster
Cuppateaandbiccie · 15/09/2025 09:56

Thanks for all your replies. I guess I have an internal moral battle about whether it’s a selfish thing to do even though it’s within policy guidelines, and have fear of being judged by other parents/nursery staff. He was a bit off his food over the weekend but has eaten as normal today and is fine in himself now. He very likely caught it from nursery as they told us through the app that it’s making the rounds at the moment. He is very affectionate and I’m finding it hard keeping him away from the baby

OP posts:
BertieBotts · 15/09/2025 09:56

Following the nursery's policy is fine whatever the reason for sending them (ie work is not a "more valid" reason than any other).

It would be unreasonable to send them in knowingly in contravention of their infection policy.

Obviously during COVID etc it was a bit different but they also had policies reflecting that.

friskery · 15/09/2025 09:53

If you are abiding by the nursery's policy then it's fine.

As a childminder I don't accept children with HFM but that's my policy.

Lululullabies · 15/09/2025 09:38

If the NHS and nursery have a policy I find you are much better with those than MN.

WombatStewForTea · 15/09/2025 09:38

MatildaTheCat · 15/09/2025 09:32

It can make young babies very unwell. Since nurseries are bound to have babies and children with young siblings then it seems irresponsible to take the risk.

Is your child genuinely fine? I seem to remember a lot of grizzling and being off colour.

My 1 year old had it a few weeks ago but mildly and genuinely wouldn't have known he'd had anything if it wasn't for the spots and peeling skin

Lucy5678 · 15/09/2025 09:36

HFM is contagious for several weeks afterwards, you can’t keep them off for that long. As long as you’re following nhs and nursery guidance I’d say you’re fine.

Alicelucy9 · 15/09/2025 09:35

No it's selfish. It would be one thing if you had to be at work but as you're at home anyway just keep him off, I'm sure he'd be happier at home when he's not well anyway.

PumpkinSeasonOctober · 15/09/2025 09:34

They should be at home imo.

MatildaTheCat · 15/09/2025 09:32

It can make young babies very unwell. Since nurseries are bound to have babies and children with young siblings then it seems irresponsible to take the risk.

Is your child genuinely fine? I seem to remember a lot of grizzling and being off colour.

gellielli · 15/09/2025 09:30

NHS website says send them in, which will be based off of thorough knowledge and research. You're fine to send in as long as they're feeling well.

JH0404 · 15/09/2025 09:29

Children passing sniffles etc to each other or viruses which the parents are unaware of / believe have passed is very different to deliberately mixing your child with others knowing they are contagious. There may be a risk to children with health conditions or vulnerable members of the family at home. A special event or holiday could be ruined if a child gets poorly. These things naturally happen and most of the time it’s just unlucky but I would be upset to find out someone had done it on purpose.

MischiefandMayhemManaged · 15/09/2025 09:26

Absolutley not- its a very selfish perspective - "lets send my sick child to school to infect all the other kids"

As someone who had a really low immune system, when i was in nursary someone did this - sent their kid in "because they were fine" I caught it and ended up in hospital for three weeks. the school we moved to after that was a very strict No when it came to anything contageous.

Bakingbeannumber2 · 15/09/2025 09:25

I would, and have sent my little boy in with it. The guidelines that is safe to do so are there for a reason. By the time the spots come out it will have already been passed around nursery.

Coffeeishot · 15/09/2025 09:24

So if you were working you.would send them ?.just do.that you are paying for the place the nursery has a send them policy, I don't think there is much debate really.

Holdonforsummer · 15/09/2025 09:23

My daughter was severely ill with HFM. Please don’t risk spreading it if you have a choice.

BarnacleBeasley · 15/09/2025 09:21

If they've been at nursery up until now, they probably got it from there and all the other kids and staff have already been exposed. So they might as well just keep going in.

TeaForTheTillermanSteakForTheSun · 15/09/2025 09:19

Depends if you're comfortable with your contagious child passing it on to other children or not I guess.

socialdilemmawhattodo · 15/09/2025 09:18

I was told it was contaigous and we were required to pick chikd up immediately, several years ago.

GrowBabyGrow · 15/09/2025 08:58

As long as they meet the nursery requirements for going in, I think it is fine. You’re paying for the space and they will be more distracted from discomfort than if at home with you.