to not invite my sister for Christmas?

Well aren’t you lucky. Your mean girl character can stay hidden from your sister for another year. Yay for you.

For heaven’s sake, just our three little musketeer group 🙄 you sound ridiculous.

And the Three Musketeers took in D'Artagnan when he was on his own...

If you aren't 'that into your first family' now you have your own family, you should reject your inheritance from your mum (your first family) and let your sister have it all, seeing as she sacrificed her job and her relationship to look after your mum while you sacrificed absolutely nothing.

Ooof the full-on “my little family” stuff can be so grim. The poor sister!

Your sister is a nurse so is used to caring for people but there's still a huge difference between caring for strangers as part of your job and caring for your mother, particularly with an illness as cruel as dementia. She made an absolutely huge sacrifice that you obviously don't really appreciate at all.

With reference to her having a slightly larger inheritance to make up for the couple of years she couldn't work to look after your mum, if she hadn't done that and you had had to pay for care, it's doubtful that there would be much inheritance left. You owe her a huge debt of gratitude but you don't seem to think so. All you can do is talk about your 'little family' and how important they are.

Honestly, she is better off without you. You sound totally smug and pretty heartless.

No, she won't be alone... she'll be working (Jesus Fucking Christ!) You're unreal.

I doubt your sister is working the whole of Christmas unless she’s volunteered to because she knows she’s not wanted. I have a friend who’s a nurse. She has to work e.g. Christmas Eve night or Christmas daytime but never both.

Having someone there who's not part of our little Three Musketeers group just changes the dynamic. It's less intimate. Just different. Can anyone relate?

🤮

You do realise that the Three Musketeers (allegedly) had the motto “All for one and one for all? Not “One for one and all for one”. And that they spent their lives in danger so that they could work as a team and help each other? Oh the irony…

Honestly on the off chance this isn’t a wind up I feel incredibly sorry for your sister. I am happy she’s at work out of your bubble of narcissistic nonsense but sheesh you really do take selfishness to a new level…

un bloody believable!! 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

Really glad to see you've taken on all the responses about being kinder to your sister.

(Yes, I'm being sarcastic)

But you also said you NEVER wanted your mum and sister for Christmas.

So why won’t your daughter feel the same when she has a partner and kids?

You're living in delulu land if you think it can’t happen to you.

You raised your daughter not your sister.

Yet your mother raised you and yet still you didn’t want to spend Christmas with her when she was dying.

Where did your Mum go wrong?

What happens if your DD is not a natural caregiver?

Your daughter's partner might want to spend Christmas with his mum in the future if she's widowed. Would you expect her to abandon him, even if they marry and have children, to ensure you aren't alone?

Quite. She my also not be a "natural caregiver", at which point OP goes in a home. But at least she'll have company at Christmas. If anyone likes her.

More like praying mantis

You lied re: the number of kids you have?? From 3-1? Are you compos mentis???

No, now she's not, but you didn't know that when you potentially wanted to inflict that on her this year of all years. So you can see how cruel that would be, yes?

Your daughter didn't choose you either, OP.

You have to accept the possibility that she isn't necessarily going to want or be able to spend Christmas with you every year, even if your husband has died. She might want to spend every other year with her in laws, or take the holiday of a lifetime to Australia one year.

I think it's very arrogant and short sighted to assume that your daughter will never let you be alone for Christmas when you are happy to leave others alone.

One day you might want to spend Christmas with your sister because you have no other options, and your sister might politely tell you to sod off. Or since she's so caring and nurturing, she might show you the sort of kindness you haven't shown her. It sounds like she's a much nicer person than you are.