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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to not invite my sister for Christmas?

831 replies

NameChangedforThis3036 · 15/09/2025 02:04

Our mother died in late August of dementia. Our dad died about a decade ago. I have three kids of university age. My sister has no kids as she never really wanted them, and she married a horrible man who had an affair and then left her.

I feel completely and utterly shattered after my mum's illness and death. I long, long, long to have Christmas with just my husband and kids, and no one else. I am dead with exhaustion after this year. Sis did more care, as she had more time, but obvs the whole thing is/was awful for us both.

Would I be unreasonable not to invite my sister for Christmas? She'll be on her own otherwise or have to go to friends, as our parents are gone and she's getting divorced. I know it sounds awful but I'm just so strung out. And I love Christmas just us.

Help!

OP posts:
Readyforslippers · 15/09/2025 02:27

I understand, but it sounds like she might need you this year.

ApricotCheesecake · 15/09/2025 02:24

It's up to you OP, but I think in the circumstances it would be really nice to include her.

Ponderingwindow · 15/09/2025 02:22

TheReformedSlob · 15/09/2025 02:11

What's with all these Christmas threads? It's September!

Many families have to make plans now or even earlier. We just finalized ours.

PestoHoliday · 15/09/2025 02:13

I'm so sorry for your loss.

No, you are not awful to want to step back from Christmas this year. It's not forever. Saying you can't face it is ok.

TheReformedSlob · 15/09/2025 02:11

What's with all these Christmas threads? It's September!

CeciliaMars · 15/09/2025 02:09

Wow. As bad as you feel, maybe she feels worse without a husband and kids to help her through? Don’t leave her on her own.

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