to not invite my sister for Christmas?

crack on…

The irony of typing this and then calling someone unpleasant.

Bit late to this thread but, for what it's worth, I understand the OP's position.

I would feel the same, I am sick of years of accommodating parents, in-laws and the like all with no car. I just want to be on my own now with Dh and the young adult kids until they don't come any more.

If I had to spend Christmas on my own I wouldn't care much, It's made too much of in my opinion.

Difference is, I am neurodiverse, willing to admit I am selfish, and don't like people much. In your case OP I would probably cave because of the guilt, but I'd be miserable.

Care…
lunch…

Irrelevant. Lost my dad and despite working fulltime with a disabled son, I helped car for him. I would have had my sister for inch anyway. You are just an unpleasant person. Enjoy your last Christmas as a three!

You sound like a very cold and selfish person. I wouldn't bet on your children wanting to spend Christmas with you in the future. And your husband might feel he would be better off with a partner who isn't quite as unpleasant as you. Or alone.

Your sister has also lost both her parents.

Still think you are awful.

My theory is this is one of those threads that's designed specifically to cause upset and division from Russia . A bit like the flags, migrant hotels, benefits, council housing, Charlie Kirk , Trump, Reform threads . We all feel just a little bit more sad and hopeless at humanity.

I think we are being played like a fiddle.

New theory: sister deliberately chose to work over Christmas so that she wouldn’t have to spend any time with OP. She’s been through enough this year.

@lunarpossumyou have articulated what i wanted to write.

I do hope the OP experiences karma in this life

Changing a few details or outright lying? If you genuinely only have 1 DC then you may very well end up being alone at Xmas in the future or your DH could end up being alone. And what if you or DH needs care? Hope your daughter isn't a care giver either

Miserable and disturbing.

Hi OP, I imagine your sister knew exactly what kind of stunt you were going to play - and I imagine both her & your mum felt very let down and disappointed by your selfishness when your sister was caring for your mum - and realised it was pointless bringing it up with you.
A couple of drives and some admin does not equate to what your sister has done & suffered through.

I'm glad it's worked out and your sister has made her own plans, but I hope you realise that you are not a good person OP. You see some selfish or sad threads on this site, but this has undoubtedly been one of the worst I've read.
I think you know that though, and when you sit down to eat your dinner at christmas with your nuclear family, I think you'll probably still have that feeling of guilt in the back of your throat. You've ruined your own 'last' christmas with 'the three musketeers' through your own unkindness and exclusion.

It would have been a very different feeling if you'd generously extended the invitation, as I imagine your sister had already made her own plans - and you'd both have been fine.
You've got to come to terms with the truth of knowing the deficiencies of your personal character now though.

I don’t think you need be concerned about your sister impinging on your ‘3 Musketeers’ set up again. She sounds like an intelligent woman who is well aware of what an arsehole you are, so has made an excuse for Christmas. She probably feels set free from having anything to do with you now your mother has sadly gone.

I suspect the sister has said she's working to get out of having to see OP's face. Who can blame her.

I think that you have to be prepared for your sister to give up on having a meaningful relationship with you if you choose not to show her kindness where you can. You can't treat someone badly and then expect them to be ok with you when you decide that you are ready for a relationship again.

We don't know the details of you and your sisters relationship so that might be fine with you.

I’m not sure that this is the year to say “just us” if I’m honest. Especially as she did more of the work looking after your Mum. And all whilst going through a divorce.

I’d do it next year.

It’s just a day and you can have time with just your husband and kids another time.

By all means say “it’s going to be a quiet one, I won’t be doing a lot re xyz” but this is really not the year, of all years, to cut out your sister.

OP it's the way you are, your mind is made up, guilt won't make any difference to what you've decided.

I am sorry for your loss it's hard seeing a parent suffer even if you weren't the carer.

You could ask for this thread to be moved

Sadly I don’t think this is a wind up and people as awful as the OP really do walk among us.

This is awful.