Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder what men mean when they say I’m like an onion?

35 replies

MyOpalReader · 14/09/2025 21:10

I’ve had multiple men tell me that I have “so many layers” and that they have to “peel them back” to get to the core of who I am. I don’t know whether to take this as a compliment or something else entirely. Do people actually like the idea of peeling back layers or is this a polite way of saying I’m hard to figure out?

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
statetrooperstacey · 15/09/2025 00:04

WatchingTheDetective · 14/09/2025 23:28

I think the sort of man who calls you an onion is the sort of man who has called a lot of women onions and has been thought to be deep as a result.

Absolutely this. It’s a line.

InterestedDad37 · 14/09/2025 23:42

You enhance almost every meal, adding umami 🧅

5128gap · 14/09/2025 23:42

The fact that men plural have said it to you using the same analogy tells you it's a line. They want you to think they see you as special and deep and to feel flattered by it. Its possible that you're a bit reserved or that you have a variety of interests and views so they haven't immediately been able to put you in a box. Don't worry though, it's said to flatter not insult.

TheNameIsDickDarlington · 14/09/2025 23:36

I think they want to seem like they're making the effort to get to know you by saying how mysterious you are and talking about peeling back layers to cover up the fact that they hadn't bothered getting to know you at all because if they did know more about you they'd be able to talk about the "layers" of YOU rather than talking about the effort THEY are making.

Id also assume they say it to a lot of women for this same reason.

WatchingTheDetective · 14/09/2025 23:28

I think the sort of man who calls you an onion is the sort of man who has called a lot of women onions and has been thought to be deep as a result.

Pastaandoranges · 14/09/2025 22:36

The most common onion analogy is around many layers.
Do you come across as shy or outgoing then underneath you are the oposite. Or you act the air head but really are deep into quantum physics, like to stay home on weekends but have travelled all over the world. Say you hate sports and your favourite bands are Take That and backstreet boys but were a junior tennis champion and also can play grade 8 classical violin.
That kind of thing i imagine they mean.

Lex345 · 14/09/2025 22:23

bridgetreilly · 14/09/2025 21:15

This, if you’re lucky.

Edited

I love Carol Ann Duffy! I love how honest her poetry is.

EmeraldShamrock000 · 14/09/2025 22:23

Yeah. I replace the word onion, to ass-hole
They've either a load of secrets or they read it from a meme.

MelBrookesMyHero · 14/09/2025 22:22

It means they stink when they they take their clothes off!

EveryKneeShallBow · 14/09/2025 22:20

I don’t think I’d take that as a compliment to be honest. What a weird thing to say! I mean onions are useful in a stew but it’s hardly poetic is it?

smallpinecone · 14/09/2025 22:14

You’re looking for Prince Charming and you live in a swamp?

notacooldad · 14/09/2025 22:12

Why haven't you said 'what do you mean'
when they've said it.

stanleycups · 14/09/2025 22:12

JustFish · 14/09/2025 22:10

Embrace it! I think you should name change to TheLadyofShallott

Surely it should be TheLadyISAShallot?

JustFish · 14/09/2025 22:12

Unless that is not apeeling

stanleycups · 14/09/2025 22:11

At what point did they say it? Was it when the relationship was ending?

JustFish · 14/09/2025 22:10

Embrace it! I think you should name change to TheLadyofShallott

NotMyNigelFarage · 14/09/2025 22:09

Either you have many layers or you're round and smelly.

LaMarschallin · 14/09/2025 22:06

Do you get pickled regularly?

LaMarschallin · 14/09/2025 22:06

Do you get pickled regularly?

Eta Don't know why that posted twice.

JustFish · 14/09/2025 22:05

Maybe you are acrid and make them cry?

Didimum · 14/09/2025 21:56

It’s a fairly common saying. I think they’re likely just trying to sound ‘deep’.

snemrose · 14/09/2025 21:56

Shortdaysalready · 14/09/2025 21:53

It's strange multiple men have made what I consider quite an unusual comment.

I would actually consider it a compliment: it makes you sound interesting and someone with depth of character, as opposed to shallow and superficial.

I would actually be quite impressed about the men you meet if they have the insight to see you have hidden depths.

We could not see it more differently 🤣 Interesting how people view things though isn’t it?

Shortdaysalready · 14/09/2025 21:53

It's strange multiple men have made what I consider quite an unusual comment.

I would actually consider it a compliment: it makes you sound interesting and someone with depth of character, as opposed to shallow and superficial.

I would actually be quite impressed about the men you meet if they have the insight to see you have hidden depths.

snemrose · 14/09/2025 21:42

They are wankers who are trying to sound deep by using lines from a Hollywood film or a crap dating show