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Original poster

Brother rang up swearing at me after I have been dog sitting for him

291 replies

Jolenepleasetakeawaymyman · 14/09/2025 15:31

Sorry I really need to rant and also check I am not the one being unreasonable.

I will try to be as concise as possible and include the key details. At the moment I am not working for a whole host of reasons and living off savings and a small rental income. I have two secondary age kids one has some behavoral issues and the other has processing difficulties. I am doing my best to support them both as a single parent having left an abusive marriage.

My brother works full time and is older than I am by several years. His dc is at university and lives with him. She persuaded him to get a dog despite both of them being out of the house long hours and her having an active social life. The assumption was that my parents would go round and look after the dog. However they are both very elderly and have had some recent health issues. To help out I offered to do as many times a week as I could. Thought all was fine, go and feed the dog, let it out and then wait for a couple of hours to play with it and give it some company.

This weekend we were asked to do the dog. I said I would but would need to take my youngest son and would be a bit later as he had some activities but I would do both days. No problem - rushed to get there and spent time to look after the dog including picking up mess from the garden. Son went to watch tv. He made his own profile on their Netflix. Didn't think much about it.

Came home had dinner - all seemed fine. Then in the evening I get a call from my brother. He is shouting and swearing at me saying my son has changed his Netflix password. I was so shocked I started apologising and went to ask my son if he had. He said no he only created a profile. I said I believed him and said I don't think he did. He was still cussing and swearing at me the whole time. I came off the phone in shock. It triggered a lot of the feelings I had in my relationship when my ex would blow up for no reason.

Apparently his daughter had been on the phone complaining she could not login to Netflix abroad. But we had done nothing to his account. And even if my son had by accident changed something I don't think it needed him to shout and swear at me telling me not to touch anything in the fing house etc. I was doing him a favour! I was spending my time on a regular basis looking after his dog! I don't have a dog of my own due to not living in my own house right now and not being sure I can guarentee the time once I am able to work again. He took a dog on knowing he wasn't at home. And I was happy to help! Also I don't think you can even change a netflix password on the TV and if he did somehow manage to wouldn't the account holder get an email telling them this.

I sent a message to him saying it was better if I did not dog sit again and I would only go into his house from now on when he was there in order to avoid touching anything myself or my kids.

He sent a very short message telling me okay he should not have spoken to me like this. I accepted the apology but said I would not be dog sitting any more. This means my parents will now have to do it. Around the same time he phoned me my mother got a message from his daughter saying she had seen on face time that someone had pulled up one of her plants. She very passively aggressively told her that she was very upset and took a long time to calm down. Instructing her in future not to touch any plants etc. My mum had pulled up the plant as the dog was trying to eat it and it was poisonous to dogs. Again someone doing them a favour and being told off like a very naughty child for trying to help.

I am really angry today. I also feel guilty as I don't want the dog to be left alone but I don't want to go in the house either in case I damage or do something and get told off again!. Also my elderly parents will now have to go over most days to look after the dog which is a big stress on them. I don't want to come between my brother and my parents as they are very close to him. But part of me wants to tell them to say get a professional dog sitter and sort it out yourself.

So am I being unreasonable to not look after the dog anymore and to be angry with my brother and niece. Should I just accept it and continue to help out. I feel they don't actually want me in their house or my kids so I don't even know if they want me to help out.

Or am I reasonable and my brother was out of order in how he treated me and my son?

OP posts:
BlueYazoo · 15/09/2025 18:22

Adding a profile onto a Netflix account does not change the password for the account. It shouldn’t affect that at all. I’d think it’s more likely that’s happened when they’ve tried to log in abroad as Netflix can tell from the IP address where you’re trying to log in from. You need to tell them both to jog on OP, you will not be dog sitting for your obnoxious brother and you need to be defending your son. What your son tried to do was a conscientious thing in trying not to mess up their Netflix algorithms with his own programmes and I would far rather have someone like that in my life than someone who loses their cool over a Netflix account. He hasn’t changed their passwords in the process as he would need the current one to do that or it would send a reset link somewhere and everyone calling him rude needs to give their heads a wobble. He sounds lovely

Washingupdone · 15/09/2025 18:19

Netflex have changed their rules, no one outside the UK can use them if the registered address is in UK .
Stops multiple households using one payment. Could be a problem for students at university.

KatSlayMoon · 15/09/2025 18:17

Your brother is a bullying arsehole and it looks like the apple has not fallen far from the tree. Use all the time you were wasting on trying to make this man’s life easier on making your life more enjoyable OP: start a new hobby, spend more time with your son, take more naps, watch all the Netflix you like.

And to all the posters banging on about Netflix: get a grip! The boy set up a Netflix account he didn’t set up a dogfighting ring in the living room. The man is his uncle, not a stranger!

Laura95167 · 15/09/2025 18:12

I understand you feel sorry for the dog, lots of dogs dont have a great time. Hes not your responsibility.

Even if your son had changed the password, aggression, shouting and swearing isnt called for.

I wouldnt do anymore favours for this entitled man, family or not. And your parents are adults so let them sort it out themselves

Arkhamasylum · 15/09/2025 18:12

What you’re doing is something you would do for someone you’re very close to and he’s treating you in a way that he wouldn’t dare treat an employee. Your son is his nephew. Who cares if he uses Netflix, and your son was right - setting up a separate profile is a very considerate thing to do, to make sure he didn’t mess with his settings. It sounds like your brother and his daughter need to spend more time being precious in their own precious house and stop treating people who are doing them favours as if they’re the help.

Blablibladirladada · 15/09/2025 18:01

He thinks he is better and is rude to you doing him a favor.
Do not do anything else for him, same old same old…it only when it is gone…

GiveDogBone · 15/09/2025 18:00

Ok, it’s more than a bit weird that your son set up a profile on his Netflix account, but… the reaction was out this world (and I suspect triggered by an equally insane reaction from his spoilt brat of a daughter).

You’ve done the right thing: no more favours if that’s the response you get.

Soberinthecity · 15/09/2025 17:56

Poor dog. He needs a loving home with people actually capable of looking after a dog’s needs.

Greyhound98 · 15/09/2025 14:31

Entitled shit head. Gets a pet he can’t be arsed with and then complains about the people who can. Fuck him.

GleisZwei · 15/09/2025 13:57

Falseknock · 15/09/2025 09:58

My Netflix account has 4 different profiles it's not a big deal. You are making a fool out of yourself. It does alter the profile one of my accounts is full of K-pop.

Show quote history

Rightio.

GleisZwei · 15/09/2025 13:57

PinkyFlamingo · 15/09/2025 10:28

I can make any statement I like, and yes in normal familes ie without weird issues about opening a profile on Netflix as his Mum is doing his Uncle a huge favour, it's no big deal. But his overreaction of shouting and swearing suggests there are most definitely issues there.
Oh and the more OP posts about her brother suggests he's gar from "normal".

Edited
Show quote history

Of course you can make any meaningless statements you like.

PinkyFlamingo · 15/09/2025 10:28

GleisZwei · 14/09/2025 19:51

'Normal' families?
No need to make sweeping statements about something which can vary dramatically.

Show quote history

I can make any statement I like, and yes in normal familes ie without weird issues about opening a profile on Netflix as his Mum is doing his Uncle a huge favour, it's no big deal. But his overreaction of shouting and swearing suggests there are most definitely issues there.
Oh and the more OP posts about her brother suggests he's gar from "normal".

mrstrickland · 15/09/2025 10:24

Your brother sounds utterly vile, well done you for standing up to him. It sounds like you are already learning about boundary setting. Hope the Freedom programme works well for you

Falseknock · 15/09/2025 09:58

GleisZwei · 14/09/2025 16:32

No, it wouldn't have been worse, because it wouldn't be altering anything. Open an existing profile with mum present, search for something to watch, mum agrees to something age suitable. Alternatively just don't watch Netflix.

Show quote history

My Netflix account has 4 different profiles it's not a big deal. You are making a fool out of yourself. It does alter the profile one of my accounts is full of K-pop.

cannynotsay · 15/09/2025 02:49

No one but them need to look after this dog

Ownedbyabeagle · 15/09/2025 00:53

I can't believe your brother is annoyed his own nephew created a Netflix profile! My nieces and nephews treat my home as their own.
We have a friend who dog sits and she can do whatever she likes in our home including helping herself to food and drink. She is doing me a great favour. I also pay her although she says she doesn't want paying.
I'm glad you said you won't help out again. It's the dog I feel sad for.

Ivelostmyglasses · 15/09/2025 00:31

Timeforabitofpeace · 14/09/2025 15:41

Your db and his dd are both incredibly rude and both short tempered. Thats the key message. On a tiny note, I don’t think your son should have created a profile on his Netflix page.

Creating a profile means he didn't mess with his uncle's algorithm. It is a good thing to do.

Pregnancyquestion · 15/09/2025 00:07

Moveoverdarlin · 14/09/2025 20:11

No excuse for speaking to people badly. But if I asked someone to come and let the dog out, feed it etc I would be pretty pissed off if their son added a profile on my Netflix account and changed the password. I would have told my son, don’t touch anything, no you can’t put the telly on! Go on my phone.

I am in a similar situation with my dog, and this just reinforces to me that I wouldn’t want someone in my house when I’m not here. Creating a Netflix account??? I could understand if you were staying for a week or two but an hour or so? I would have said not to touch peoples things.

It’s her brother. They’re literally family. And you would be annoyed at your nephew watching tv? Which it essentially all he’s done. Creating a profile makes no difference to him or his account.

My mum will sometimes travel 40 mins to sort my cat out while I’m away. If she watched TV, had a coffee and a chill out while she was here to keep MY cats company FOR FREE I’d expect her to make herself at home, not act like a stranger being paid for the job because she’s neither a stranger or being paid

Glindaa · 14/09/2025 23:46

I feel sorry for the dog 🐶

decenteringmen · 14/09/2025 22:52

The dog needs rehoming.

Facecloth · 14/09/2025 22:29

So he is an abusive man with a trail of broken relationships.
Pity you didn't report him for hurting your child.
Leave him to your parents, who created him.
They deserve him.
You protect yourself and your child.

MySweetMaggie · 14/09/2025 22:03

Jolenepleasetakeawaymyman · 14/09/2025 15:50

Thank you everyone who has replied you are making me feel better about saying I won't dog sit again. I normally get on with my brother however he has always been able to do no wrong in my parents' eyes whilst I have had much stricter rules being a girl. Thank you @PinkArt for putting it so well - I felt the same what had happened were hardly heinous crimes.

Yes my son probably should not have created his own profile but he thought he was helping so he would not affect any of their shows or lists. Once before there was a comment about us drinking some juice from one of about 5 cartons. Not a whole carton just a couple of glasses, and not from the carton in glasses. My parents had been told to eat or drink anything they liked whilst around there. However comments were made about the juice!

Anyway thank you again I will stick to my guns and no more dog sitting. Also I won't feel guilty about my parents as they are adults and can say no. However I know they won't.

This golden child / scapegoat dynamic was set up long before you could even communicate. This isn't your problem, it's a family problem. Setting boundaries and looking after yourself is most important. I am also a single parent and have a similar position in my family. I have set up strict boundaries, am friendly but quite distant. I can't allow them all to drain me as they have zero idea how much it takes to do the childcare, earn the money and take care of everything.

janehopper · 14/09/2025 21:49

You'd think between the two of them they could come to the not very ground breaking conclusion that it's not very wise to be dicks to the people who are doing them a huge favour. They seem particularly thick as well as being CFs.

Agapornis · 14/09/2025 21:44

I'm a paid pet sitter and some owners tell me to help myself to tea and coffee, or watch TV if the pet is elderly and just wants lap time. It's 100% normal to do these things, especially if you're not even paid. Bet they don't even bring you a thank you gift!

They're ridiculous people and your time and effort is wasted on them. It's not your problem if your parents have no spine.

GagMeWithASpoon · 14/09/2025 21:37

Moveoverdarlin · 14/09/2025 20:11

No excuse for speaking to people badly. But if I asked someone to come and let the dog out, feed it etc I would be pretty pissed off if their son added a profile on my Netflix account and changed the password. I would have told my son, don’t touch anything, no you can’t put the telly on! Go on my phone.

I am in a similar situation with my dog, and this just reinforces to me that I wouldn’t want someone in my house when I’m not here. Creating a Netflix account??? I could understand if you were staying for a week or two but an hour or so? I would have said not to touch peoples things.

You don’t quite understand how Netflix works do you?
The son didn’t change the password. He couldn’t have even if he wanted to.

He didn’t create a new account either. Again, he couldn’t , even if he wanted to.

What he did is add a new profile so that he wouldn’t mess up the current users’ watch list, suggestions ,algorithms ,now playing etc.

On the screen , normally you get DN profile (with her selections ), DB profile(with his selections) , a guest profile or add a new profile . All a new profile does is add an extra name to the screen and have selections based on whatever OP’s son watched.

I bet the spoilt “why did you touch my plant” DN would’ve kicked off just as much to see Peppa Pig on her continue watching. Or the sweary , Golden child brother.

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